NICE TRY

Thrice-Divorced Florida Attorney General Calls Gay Families Unstable

pam bondiFlorida Attorney General Pam Bondi must not think federal judges are very bright. How else to explain her nutty defense of Florida’s antigay marriage ban?

It’s nothing we haven’t seen before: a lot of blah-blah-blah about protecting “stable family units,” as though gay parents aren’t stable. Bondi made the arguments in a brief filed in late May, and it’s about as terrible as a document possibly could be.

According to this person who is, incredibly, actually allowed to legally represent an entire state, preventing gay couples from marrying increases “the likelihood that children will be born to and raised by the mothers and fathers who produced them in stable and enduring family units.”

In other words, if we let gay people get married, straight parents will somehow lose their children. What? Or maybe she’s saying that straight parents will start divorcing if gays can marry?

Divorce is a topic that Bondi knows a thing or two about, because she’s done it herself three times. No doubt gay people were to blame in each case.

We’re actually a little relieved to see that Bondi’s making such a ridiculous argument, since it shows that she has absolutely no idea what she’s doing. Over a dozen courts have rejected similar lines of reasoning over the last year, and for all its shortcomings Florida will probably be no exception.

So, thanks for handing us a victory, Attorney General Bondi. Better luck with your next case! And your next marriage.