Rihanna is not only performing at the Super Bowl, but, according to one priest, she also has a residency in hell.
Gerald Johnson, the religious leader of the Gerald A. Johnson Ministries in Texas, has gone viral after recently detailing how he went to satan’s playground and saw men on all fours being tortured to the sounds of Rihanna’s biggest hits. Put us on the list plus one!
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In a TikTok video, Johnson claims this demonic escapade occurred back in 2016 after he suffered a heart attack and “died.” He said his spirit left his body and traveled to the center of the earth where apparently the devil maintains prime real estate.
Johnson said he was immediately blown away with the fiery scene, which according to his description also appeared to border on some intense pup play.
“There was a man on all fours, like a dog…he was burned from the crown of his head to the sole’s of his feet and his eyes were bulging out,” Johnson recounted. “He had a chain around his neck. He was like a dog in hell. What was worse was who was holding the chain. It was a demon who was holding the chain.”
@geraldajohnson1 My experience when I saw hell in February 2016. I’ll never be the same after that. #hell #jesus #unforgiveness #forgive #godsaid #encouragement #geraldajohnson #jesuslovesyou #moveforward ♬ original sound – Gerald Johnson
But that was just the opening act. As he made his way deeper into Lucifer’s VIP room, the main stage began to look more like your worst karaoke nightmare come to life.
“There’s a section in hell where music was playing. It was the same music that we hear on the Earth, but as opposed to entertainers singing it, the music, demons were singing it. It was some of the same lyrics we hear here.”
According to Johnson, these demons use popular music to control humans while on Earth. And one of the biggest torture devices these evil goblins use is Rihanna’s 2007 monster earworm “Umbrella.”
“Here, music is to get over a breakup. ‘Don’t worry, be happy,’ ‘I bust the windows out your car,’ or, ‘under my umbrella,’ whatever,” Johnson said in reference to hit bops by Bobby McFerrin, Jazmine Sullivan, and RiRi. “There, every lyric to every song is to torment you as to the fact that you didn’t worship God through music when you were on the Earth.”
To no surprise, Rihanna is too booked and busy to have commented on Johnson’s hellfire tale.
For those not planning a tour of eternal damnation just yet, you can keep your fingers crossed that RiRi tortures us all with a lit version of “Umbrella” at the Super Bowl on Sunday, February 12th. Hella, hella, eh, eh, eh!
pre gaming in @SavageXFenty pic.twitter.com/gSBtYnhdqW
— Rihanna (@rihanna) January 27, 2023
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Kangol2
Drama queen, and I don’t mean Rihanna. I mean that fantasist “priest”!
still_onthemark
It used to be common knowledge that Protestant ministers are not “priests.” Only RCC and Eastern Orthodox have priests. The mistake still annoys me, but on the bright side, maybe it’s a good thing that a lot of young people now were raised so secular they don’t even know the difference?
still_onthemark
sorry I forgot: Episcopalians/Anglicans, though definitely Protestant, do have priests.
still_onthemark
Rock & roll was and IS and always will be the Devil’s Music! Rihanna is holy. Although I guess Sam Smith is Unholy.
Bromancer7
I’m calling legit. If there’s anyplace in the afterlife you’re gonna hear Rihanna’s music, it’s definitely Hell.
linedrive
Interesting that he ended up in hell when he “died”.
Doug
What he says at the end of his long speech is interesting…that he believes that God doesn’t send anyone to hell, we send ourselves to hell when we can’t forgive others.
Thad
I bet you know some bitches who deserve that “hell” scenario. Shame it’s not real.
SDR94103
Rihanna= hideous.
humble charlie
though i’ll change my mind if it was sung by rufus wainwright. that truly WOULD be hell.