"Don't Watch Gay"

TN Legislator Warns Parents About Modern Family. What’s Left For Homophobes To Watch?

It’s not enough that Tennessee’s House education subcommittee passed Sen. Stacey Campfield’s moronic “Don’t Say Gay” bill yesterday. They also had to get the word out that letting your kids watch ABC’s Modern Family would be an act of moral turpitude.

“I don’t think Modern Family is appropriate for children to watch,” [Subcommittee chairman Joey] Hensley said solemnly after a Nashville preacher testified children might find out about gay people by seeing the show even if teachers aren’t allowed to say gay in schools.

We’re going to set aside our feelings about a grown man named “Joey,” and address the larger issue: If Modern Family is a no-go, what other shows should we be protecting out kids from?

Quite a lot, actually. Looking at the recent Nielsen ratings for the top 20 shows on television, it appears the boob tube is rife with homosexuals. To wit:

The Big Bang Theory: Jim Parsons might convince little Timmy that being a fussy, intellectual bachelor is an acceptable lifestyle.

Grey’s Anatomy: Dr. Callie married her girlfriend last spring. Also, all that female-centric discussion of “feelings” can’t be good for growing boys.

How I Met Your Mother: Neil Patrick Harris might play a nice, normal sex addict on the show but, off-screen, he’s always talking about his husband and kids.

2 Broke Girls: While Girls does a good job of reinforcing how sick and twisted people from New York City are, it’s produced by that notorious Hollywood homosexual Michael Patrick King, who foisted Sex and the City on the world.

Glee: We understand that Kurt, one of the girls on the show, is vaguely butch.

The Voice: Even stalwart heterosexual boys cannot be trusted in the presence of Adam Levine

So what’s left?  From what we’ve seen, Teen Mom and Animal Hoarders are totally free of anything remotely gay. Enjoy!

Photos: ABC, Monty Brinton/CBS

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  • Crysta Lynn

    Wow, all those sheeple must be downright terrified that one of their kids might see this, look at their parents and come to a conclusion “mommy/daddy is a closeted homo!”

  • Kaylee

    What I want to know is if the gay couple in Modern Family teaches kids to be gay, then what does Teen Mom teach kids? And how is THAT acceptable?

  • MikeE

    ah yes, I can see these people, marching in the streets: “less government!”, “no government intervention in our lives”, “rah rah rah…” etc…

    less government, as long as it’s in their favor.
    they are ALL in favor of MORE government intervention when it’s time to impose their beliefs on everyone else.


  • christie

    kurt is a guy…

  • dsp

    “So what’s left? From what we’ve seen, Teen Mom and Animal Hoarders are totally free of anything remotely gay. Enjoy!”

    Well there is also Jersey Shore! oh wait, I think that might be wrong….according to Snooky ant J Wow, the Situation is gay.

  • joe

    @christie: that’s just queerty trying to be funny by making fun of the effeminate gay kid

  • codyj

    what du you expec from a state where most folks proudly display signs ‘the SOUTH shall RISE again’??? complete ,of course with usual confed flag…..oh well, its not on my ‘mus visit’ place..I(‘d rather Hoboken,

  • Tony

    I forget why…but these church ladies didn’t want us to watch Friends either.

  • Biff

    I grew up in Tennessee. It used to be a marginally progressive state at least by Southern standards. Sad about what has happened since the Republicans took the governorship and solidified control of the legislature in 2010.

    Also, the thing about grown men having “kid” names like “Joey” is common there. I knew plenty of guys named Billy Joe, Johnny, Willy, Bobby or Jay Dee, etc. These were NOT nicknames. These were their actual names on their birth certificates. I had forgotten about that weird little tradition.

  • PTBoat

    Oh well, at least when their, unbeknownst to them, gay children secretly watch Modern Family, they will come away understanding that they can grow up to be part an average American family, if they choose. Eventually, creeps like this will have to keep bullshit like this in their private home settings and KKK rallies. It won’t help their children, but the shows might.

  • Pete n SFO

    So, if I like to watch Star Trek, does that mean I’ll be a space cadet?

    Remember that expression, “haven’t got the brains they were born with”?

    If you need some gratitude in your life today, it’s that you DON’T live near these people!

  • the crustybastard

    What’s left for homophobes to watch?

    Well, how about the dozen or so ChristianGospelBibleJesus channels, that I have no choice but to pay for if I want access to A&E and BBC America?

    /getting sick of always having to subsidize those assholes.

  • Jim Hlavac

    Um, “reinforcing how sick and twisted people from New York City are” — you jest no? As a native New Yorker I’m rather appalled at this comment of yours. And considering that 2/3rds of New Yorkers are from somewhere else, well, maybe it’s where they are from that is sick and twisted and the bring it to my fair city. 1/3 or New Yorkers are born in foreign lands, and 1/3 in um, “foreign” states beyond the tunnels, out there in “normal” USA land, where Tennessee legislators say dumb stuff and New Jersey gov’s veto gay marriage bills and the constellation of the No-Gays movement like Maggie, Tony, Brian and Peter live — and Michelle Bachmann, Rick Santorum — talk about your sick and twisted, eh? And nary a New Yorker in the bunch. Stop trashing geographical locales, it ain’t the water, trust me. And New York is just like any other city in this nation, but busier with taller buildings.

    Meanwhile, the “notorious homosexual” Michael Patrick King, of Sex and the City fame, is the brother of a Catholic Nun in Scranton Pennsylvania, a rather nice lady, with whom my sister worked, and I have met on numerous occasions, and she’s rather nice with the gay thing, I assure you.

    And so I wonder if this sort of commentary is meant to elicit comments and get people riled up, or are you really all just that limited in your world view and personal relationships as to be oh so perfect that everyone else is at fault and one dimensional? Hmm. I ponder this, with a stiff cocktail in hand, for ’tis necessary after reading this bit about “sick and twisted” New Yorkers. Infuriating.

  • CBRad

    @Jim Hlavac: The sickest New Yorkers are the ones that move here from other towns just so they can gay-ghettoize themselves and become non-thinking reactionaries and yet still fantasize that somehow they’re smarter and cooler than the people in the town they left (and we natives have to put up with them). Granted, some straights do their own version of that too.

  • Christopher

    @Jim Hlavac: queerty was just making fun of the perceptions about New York that sometimes come from legislators and preachers. Did you’re read the whole article, they were joking about every show…whether the jokes were good or not is in debate, but accusing them of trashing New York is a bit much.

  • Allie

    Come on now. I’m from Nashville, and I can assure you that we aren’t proud of don’t say gay. And I promise you that very few of us believe that the south will rise again or fly confederate flags in our yards. While the majority are republican here we are mostly right along the middle lines, as is the rest of America. If you don’t believe me, look at tn poles. These aren’t conflicts between dems and reps it’s between the old and young, and the whole country is fighting over that. I’m 23 years old and am just within the past couple days hearing anything about this bill. That might be where the real problem is

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