âOne thing I learned early on is not to care what other people think. Thatâs been useful since Iâve been with my husband. Iâm 27, he is 47. People have their opinions, but we donât notice the age gap. When you fall in love, you fall in love.
I had girlfriends briefly before Lance, but nothing serious. As soon as I was with him I knew right away. It was like, âOK, wow, this is it.ââ
Elsewhere in the piece, Daley gives the secret (itâs not much of a secret) to maintaining his 6-pack:
âPeople always comment on my six-pack. I spend six hours a day training and when you spend six hours a day training, that kind of physique is easier to keep up.â
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â Champion diver Tom Daley in a first-person piece for The Guardian.
Bromancer7
Yeah, the answer is simple, “mind your own damned business”.
beading_man
The only thing that matters is if they love each other! The rest of it is no else’s business! It doesn’t matter if one is 90 and the other is 20!! As long as they are happy! Everyone should just mind their own business!!
spacecadet
It wasnât just the age difference that made people take note, it was the actual ages of Tom and Dustin, 19 and 39 respectively. That of course is going to be more significant than say the 20 year difference between people who are say, 35 and 55 years of age. I think the feeling was that Tom couldnât really be mature enough at that age and having just come out to know what heâd want in a relationship, and Dustin being much older was preying on this young man. But theyâre still together after all of these years, married, with a kid, and still apparently happy so more power to them!
Chrisk
Yep. No one even cares today. A famous middle aged guy hooking up with a teenager is always going to get peoples attention though. Plus, Tom was never going to settle on anything less the rich and famous.
flim
sorry but the idea that Tom Daley went for Lance cause he was ‘rich and famous’ is ridiculous/ Tom is far far more well known world wide/ in the UK everyone knows who he is pretty much/ thats been true ever since he went to the Olympics at 14, he was also already a homeowner worth millions at the point he met him, they did definetley have stuff in common in terms of winning awards at the top of their jobs/ losing close family members but ascribing him choosing Lance to clout chasing seems silly
robco
Now that I’ve reached my mid 40’s, I’ve found that the trope is older men preying on boys half their age isn’t entirely accurate. Of course it happens, but the number of younger men seeking a more, experienced, partner is not insignificant. Many of those younger men also complain that despite the trope, many older men either won’t date them because they’re too young, or only see them as a fling and not as relationship material. I usually stick to the half your age plus seven rule, which takes into account the fact that age gaps are less important the older you get.
screwtop
Hi spacecadet. Well I was 19 the first time I fell in love – and it was some years later that I even found out how old he was. At the start, I thought he was only 6 years older than me. Till one day he was going through some junk and his passport fell on the floor. Because I’d never had one, I picked it up and noticed his date of birth was actually 10 years earlier than I thought. Making him 16 years older than me. He was horrified at me seeing it – snatched it from me, hoped I hadn’t noticed. So I simply went along with it and pretended I didn’t see it.
Eventually we went our own separate ways – but that was because he came from Europe and always intended to go back there – but I couldn’t relocate there.
Last time I saw him, I was 32 and he was 48.
So what?
I did eventually find someone else, we’ve been together for almost 40 years, we’re now happily married. But I still think of my latin lover – he must be dead by now – I’ve nothing but fond memories of him.
What HAS changed is all this stuff about age differences. He could have been jailed for messing with me, when it all started. And I was quite capable of making my own decisions as to what I wanted – so that would have been utterly ridiculous. I suppose other people would have looked at us and been horrified by his “behaviour”. Why? It was none of their f****** business, for starters. And we quite genuinely and deeply loved each other. By the time I was 21 we’d bought our own home, together. Like so many people who move to another country, he was torn in half – by his love for his family and his love for me. But we both always knew the clock was ticking and eventually he’d have to sail home. I followed – I had to make sure he was happy – we spent 3 months together – God only knows what his family thought when I turned up.
Liquid Silver
Strangely, Robco, I even think of half my age plus seven as “ridiculously young.” đ Then again, I married a gentleman slightly older than myself, so…
Fahd
If one envies Dustin Lance Black, this story doesn’t help.
Michael1500
@ spacecadet: Yours was a well-spoken and thoughtful comment that hit the nail exactly on the head. There IS a lot of difference between 19 and 39 than say, 35 and 55. Iâm glad to see they and their relationship survive the toxic comments.
Kevan1
I was 32 and my partner was 47 when we met. We have been happily together for 22 years. Some times people ask if I am his son. I proudly say no he is my husband.As far as money goes, we both came from fortunate families. Money is the last motivators in our relationship.
AndyHumm
As long as people are of age it is not anyone else’s place to comment. But countless people think they have a right to judge others. In most cases it is jealousy.
Dymension
I am an older person and I have been chased by younger men. My current husband bemoaned the fact that I was not older. I am only 7 years older than him.
Troyfight
when two guys have chemistry and regularly shoot white ropes with each other …..HARD to separate đ
andrewl
The fact is that an age difference between partners is no ones business but theirs. Though I agree with the opinion that a 20 year difference between a 19 year old and a 39 year old could be cause for concern than between a 30 year old and 50 year old due to maturity and possible manipulation. However in saying all that there was a 21 year age gap between my grandparents – my grandmother was a sheltered 20 year old when she met my grandfather who was 41 years. Her parents were aghast but they had a long happy marriage. However, the one thing to remember if you are in a long term relationship with a significant age gap is that one day one partner will be a lot older possibly frailer and all the other fun bits of being elderly and this can really impact on the younger partners life. My grandfather was an elderly man and passed away while Grandmama was in her early 60âs. If you are still active and your partner is elderly this could cause potential friction but of course if you love one another a path through lifeâs complications can always be found.
nm4047
Happy they’re settled and relaxed with their choices, but, when chicken get older, chicken wants chicken. Far more evidence of the younger guy getting to a age that they are no longer the magnet and still want a night out on the town. But the older daddy wants to stay in or be home by a certain time then give free rein to the younger. The resulting realisation that they missed all those things similar aged people did/do when in their 20’s & that’s not dinner parties with other older queens every weekend with the occasional night out (with some chemical assistance). Cynical but also reality.
redzebra1
So Tom goes clubbing? HOW do you know that? Not everyone goes to the scene, remember.
scotty
good for them. im gonna be 57 and my spouse is 34. YMMV
Spidey137
I religiously watch Tom Daley’s You Tube page. He is actually an old soul. He crochets for God’s sake. Lance is the child of the relationship. Have they dabbled in things outside their marriage? Only Matty Lee knows. Both Lance and Tom seem like genuinely sweet, loving guys.
Prax07
I think where you live also factors in to age difference relationships. Poorer areas, where I live, the younger guys go for older guys because they want someone with money. The older guys with money either go for a younger fling until it gets too expensive, or don’t have money to begin with either so they don’t go for it. And I see several younger/older couples on grindr around holidays and stuff when they come here from ny looking for young thirds to play with, so there’s that aspect as well. Blech.