Since telling the world he’s not 100 percent hetero, 19-year-old British heartthrob Tom Daley has wasted no time speaking about his new male lover, whose name he has yet to confirm, although everyone on the planet (including us) believes it’s screenwriter Dustin Lance Black. In an interview with British talk show host Jonathan Ross that will be broadcast on ITV Saturday, the Olympic diver offers all the typical gushing young love quotes one would expect from a newly out teen, such as “It really was love at first sight, I’d never felt like anything like it before.” Yeah, yeah, been there.
Daley says he met his new love at a party (reportedly at an after-party for the Nickelodeon Annual Kids’ Choice Awards last March) and there was a bit of apprehension before the two men actually connected.
This is where the interview gets confusing.
The athlete tells Ross, “I didn’t know what to do or if he was gay at first. I made the first move, I typed ‘call me’ in his notes with a smiley face on this phone and the next day he texted.” Back up a minute, sir. You didn’t know that Oscar-winner Dustin Lance Black, with his ubiquitous media presence as the go-to LGBT activist, is gay? Either every blogger with insider gossip is wrong, as are all those anonymous sources close to Daley quoted in Us and other pubs today who confirm the two men are indeed an item, or the 19-year-old diver is incredibly naïve.
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Regardless of whether the man in question is Black, he’s certainly had a positive affect of Daley, who says he couldn’t be happier and his new love makes him feel safe.
“I’d never felt the feeling of love, it happened so quickly, I was completely overwhelmed by it to the point I can’t get him out of my head all the time,” he tells Ross. “I’ve never had it before where I love someone and they love me just as much.”
Daley says his “mystery man” supported his decision to post the youTube video and that he also encouraged him to continue training after he considered giving up diving this year.
He also expresses that he now feels completely liberated.
“Now that everyone knows, I have nothing to hide, those chains that I felt wrapped around me are gone and I can carry on with my life as normal and be happy,” he says in the interview.
He also chooses to keep an open mind about the fluidity of his sexual orientation.
“Everything is all pretty new so I don’t see any point in putting a label on it — gay, bi, straight, any of those kind of labels,” he shares. “All that I feel happy about at the moment is that I’m dating a guy and couldn’t be happier, it shouldn’t matter who I’m dating and I hope people can be happy for me.”
We are happy, buddy, but maintaining a binational relationship can be complicated and tricky so be careful.
inkblotter
People saw them together once, and everyone’s screaming its Black. After this, I’m not so sure it is. Could be very wrong, though.
DShucking
I feel so badly that he is dating DLB. Blech. I hope he moves on quickly.
Fitz
I really hope it’s not Black. I mean, I didn’t ask for anyone’s opinion when I picked my partner, but if it’s Black, it’s just such a sad stereotype with an obvious conclusion. All the joy that I felt at his coming out is sort of evaporated.
Pistolo
Poor SOB. Why can’t it be Liam Payne from One Direction? They were spotted out on the town on Halloween. Those two banging would be so goddamn hot.
Fitz
Well, when he turns 21 or 22 Black will toss him out. Then he can pick up the pieces and hopefully start on something better.
DShucking
@Fitz: Exactly. What a downer. I wish someone would intervene.
jimbryant
Maybe Tom initially confused Dustin with Marilyn Manson.
jasentylar
Um…why do we even care? I know I don’t. He is pretty to look at and thats why I clicked on the article. And to read the comments. lol
Camsean01
Someone stage an intervention.
Stache1
@jasentylar: It is kind of interesting what jealously can do to some people. As if tom would come anywhere near any of them anyways. The kid wants the best. Not a bunch of yapping queens on the internet.
Zodinsbrother
A little bit of old queen ignorance in this article. and I say that as an old queen myself!
Why would Tom know who Dustin is?
1) Tom was only 15 when Dustin got his one day of media coverage in the UK at his Oscar win. Not exactly the age to be paying attention to Gay activists.
2) Tom is British, over hear we’ve heard nothing about Dustin since really. Even in the Gay community he’s pretty much unknown.
3) At 19 Tom is just coming to terms with his sexuality so probably isn’t tuned in to the gay blogsphere where the mentions of Dustin mostly hover. Some of us may have been tuned in to such things at 18/19 but most have other things to worry about like exams, education and oh…I don’t know….being an Olympian.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Once you go BLACK, you ain’t evah goin’ BACK..out the door of that sexual health clinic again
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
*Black
BrandoPolo
@Zodinsbrother: Nailed it. Gay-famous is not real famous, and DLB is *barely* gay-famous. Why anybody would expect a 19-year old British kid to be able to pick him out in a crowd. Daley may be naive, but this is not evidence of it.
stanhope
I have been on both sides of this divide. That this won’t turn out well is sadly sort of a given. I just hope this seemingly very nice kid isn’t devastated in the end.
gollygeegaygoy
Clearly some commenters here find it hard to be happy for Mr Daley, because he does not conform to their fantasy of what a relationship should be, or their moral standards. It comes across as ageism and jealousy. Equally the accusing Mr Daley of being ‘naive’ because he did not know that DLB is gay, is naive in itself. Mr Daley is a devoted sportsman, and not someone who has been in the gay scene. Equally the vile comments about DLB are shameful. He has done more for the gay community and marriage equality that most. He deserves our thanks, not personal attacks.
JJinAus
Why is everybody worried about him? We have all had our hearts broken, why shouldn’t he?
middleagespread
I wish him the best. Hope his journey in life is wonderful and full of love. I fondly remember my 1st boyfriend, and I remember how my heart broke when we were no longer together. Love and loss are just a part of human development. Who knows, this could be that one relationship that lasts a lifetime.
Cam
Can everybody here imagine if your first major relationship was followed by the press? Ugh.
Congrats on coming out, and I wish him luck on the relationship with the press following him around.
Tackle
I noticed there is a tendency of “some” posters to lable others as jealous, because they question or do not like Tom’s choice of a bf. If as reported, and it does turn out to be, DLT, I don’t think that it’s jealous that’s fueling such strong opposition, but rather a strong dislike among many “gay” men for Dustin Lance Black. And I have noticed that same dislike for,
Dan Savage, Perez Hilton, and Rupert Everett.The reaction would be different if it was perhaps, ( if they were single)
Ricky Martin, Neal Patrick Harris, Nate Berkus or Tom Ford: gay men who seem to have a more likeable factor about them. But some people just give off a sleez factor, that you just can not imagined a young gay/bi person, being left in good condition when or if that relationship ends.
jimbryant
Just because you’re gay, it doesn’t mean you have to like all gay people. Just because you’re straight, it doesn’t mean you have to like all straight people.
loua61
You guys really make me want to turn in my gay card. My God what jealousy, Tom is dating a successful, rich, handsome older man. He must like older men, so what is so wrong with Dustin? How many of you have you done better? If he treats him well and is faithful what difference does it make. What a bunch of bitter queens.
AuntieChrist
@Tackle: That is a very good point… We all want the same thing…Love, sex and a guy who would be, THE ONE…If I could offer you a glamorous life, good sex and everything else that you want or desire.., what would you do..? Has no one here ever been swept off their feet by a guy who seems to have everything..? I think we all have a tendency to say…”If it was me.” But we are not them…I think we would all trade places if we could…We can speculate all we want.
BJ McFrisky
It appears that Queerty has officially become the Tom Daley gossip site. Six stories in 2 days regarding the dating life of an unknown British diver?
Sad.
iMort
Hey World! Don’t try to tell me who to love! (say all of you unless you don’t like what someone else is doing, then you get to be Miss Bossypants, what’s up with that?)
krystalkleer
he didn’t know DLB was GAY? that’s like say’n you go to a Britney Spears concert and not know she’s just lyp-sync’n fer her life!
http://getoffmydress.blogspot.com/2013/12/as-eyelash-curls.html
dragonboi
@Tackle: I completely agree with you
Fitz
I stand by my comments. I’m neither jealous, nor bitter. Well, not bitter about this..
My opinion came out of a desire to look out for a young gay. It’s the same energy that gets mad about the other dumb things that young people do and will pay for… many of which I did. And like all older folk, I wish there was a way to spare them.
When I was a kid did I have lecherous old men after me? ABSOLUTELY. And did I think it was wonderful in the moment, again.. yes. And I survived, but this kid seems way too green to deal with it. He’ll survive too.. I just wish his path were better.
And Black is not a leader for the Gay community. He is a fox in the hen house.
CaptainFabulous
@Stache1: I don’t think anyone is jealous of DLB for dating Tom. I think most are disturbed by the idea. Obviously I don’t know Tom personally, but he seems like a really nice kid, and despite not knowing him I can feel empathy towards him, and hope that DLB doesn’t screw him over. He seems like a nice guy who doesn’t deserve it. That doesn’t make us jealous, it makes us human.
AuntieChrist
@Fitz: That may well be…But I do not think Tom is so innocent that he does not know what he is doing or who he is with…Black may be lecherous but he is only old in gay years. (Gay years) (Just like dog years) Hey, I don’t make the rules, you kids do. 40 is the new 30 but only if you are 40…In gay years you may as well be 80…I came out at 15 lived on the street cause my family did not like homos…It’s all about perspective….
Fitz
@AuntieChrist: I understand what you’re saying, but don’t fully agree about Tom’s maturity level. It doesn’t matter. I got my own problems, lol. I just don’t like seeing kids get used, even when they are too naive to know what’s happening. Black isn’t the devil, but he isn’t good first-relationship material. Well just have to hope that Tom can pick himself back up quickly and stay Seronegative. It’s not about Black being old. It’s about Black being who he is. There are 19 year olds who are very sophisticated. And there are some who have been sheltered, lost a parent, and are just realizing their bi-side.
mwalsh
I feel envious of Black, but I know that, given his age I would just feel like a big brother towards young Tom, who is sweet, naive and emotionally vulnerable. So be it! and don’t some of us have fond memories of that being that age.
He’s just hit the deck and has plenty of time to wet his whistle.It makes sense that he might look for a father figure replacement. Black may be a ticket into an influential part of the gay world, and have the money to take him places. That is sometimes something that young guys look for. It’s an experiential stage. Being gay today is difficult territory to navigate. I wish him the best in all things.
AuntieChrist
@Fitz: Yea I think you hit the mark on that one…I have always had an odd gut reaction to Black…Don’t know why…I want to like him but there is that thing in the back of my mind…I was so in love with this guy, Dennis and everyone said to stay away from him, of course I did not listen…Best sex I ever had though…LOL
Hermes
Seriously people — seriously. I don’t know who DLB or whatever is, but I know who Tom Daley is – he’s an Olympian who also holds some other credits, like having been in documentaries and (I think) a regular movie). To not know who he is you have to have not followed the Olympics, which is fine… but… let’s be serious… that doesn’t make you better informed.
By coming out Tom Daley has done a GREAT deal more for gay youth in Britain and in the US than those complaining ever will.
I personally do suspect it is someone older, not Liam — because he said two or three times that his partner makes him feel “safe” – and that is normally something said about an older more established and stable partner. The assumption that he is being used in pathetic, frankly. He is innocent and naive and sweet and you can see it in his youtube and I don’t know the older person, BUT, many, many gay youth prefer older partners, so do many heterosexual youth — and we as a society need to celebrate for them when they find someone that they love. Tom is legal, has been in England since he was 16. He has a b/f. Let him know joy and love and happiness, and hopefully the man who makes him feel safe will continue to do that.
Blessed be to both of them.
dougmc92
I love that Tom didn’t know DLB was gay…I guess we should cut him some slack- Tom was the ONLY gay person who didn’t know Tom Daley was gay…..
Charlie in Charge
Siding with the other “What’s with rage?” commenters. Has everyone forgotten what 19 is like?
Rockery
@jimbryant:
LOL!!!!!!!! Best comment on this thread! I couldn’t place it but that is who DLB looks like. DLB is ugly I don’t care what anyone says.
LOL at all the people saying Tom is bi and that people were being biphobic when Tom is using language like gay,not exactly in reference to himself but it’s just something to note.
He is so naive, I hope that whoever it is (it seems like DLB) does in fact “love him as much” as he loves him
Marshall Brown
Their age dif — 20 years — makes me skeptical… I well remember the leers at clubs when I was 19. For Tom’s sake, I hope his effusiveness is returned… at least long enough that he won’t be crushed.
dougmc92
yes- we remember what 19 was like- which is why a 39 year old should know better! And a 19 year old should be made aware of the skeetchy past of this guy….what 39 year goes to the Teen Choice Awards- A CHICKENHAWK!
dougmc92
Tom says he didn’t know DLB was gay when he met him….I can believe that- Tom was the only person who didn’t know Tom Daley was gay….
Niall
@CaptainFabulous: But you don’t even really know DLB and everything you’ve probably heard about him being a “user” was probably from someone else or gossip. So how’s judging DLB with the details of his life that you know through 2nd hand sources human?
Of course apologies if you actually DO know DLB personally or you’re in a position where you could be privy to his personal life
And why is it so surprising he might not know that DLB was gay? There are actually a lot of gay people who didn’t even know who DLB was till yesterday.
dougmc92
the gay community can be a real small place at times- we spread rumors better than any group on the planet- and 3 out of 4 are usually spot on- yes- started as bitchy- but with truth behind it….it’s not just 1 guy saying this- 100s from Hollywood have- there has to be something to it.@Niall:
tada-no
@JJinAus: AHAHAHA Best comment on here! Short and to the point.
CaptainFabulous
@Niall: I don’t know DLB and made no comment regarding him personally one way or the other. All I said is that I hope Tom doesn’t get screwed over by him. May/December romances rarely work out well.
MK Ultra
I don’t give a sh!t about these two. Frankly though, DLB is the gay Terry Richardson.
But once again the gays trolling each other in the comments have way more entertainment value than the article. AHAHAHA
AuntieChrist
I can’t find no dirt on Black online. All I saw was him portrayed as the goddesses gift to all gays. Where should I look..??? Perez Hilton has his head so far up Dustin’s butt that he can see what he ate this morning…I’m not sure where to look. So far all I can find is second hand gossip.
jimbryant
I was hoping that Tom’s partner would be Eminem.
alterego1980
I find it weird that DLB hasn’t said a word about it. If they weren’t dating, I’m sure he would have been one of the many to congratulate him and sing his praises. The quieter he is, the more I realize that it’s probably the truth…
JimBHinkson
my roomate’s sister makes $89/hr on the laptop. She has been laid off for six months but last month her income was $20112 just working on the laptop for a few hours. find out here….. http://www.tec202.com
AuntieChrist
My sisters brothers cousins aunt who saw this thing and did that stuff, Changed my life…
DShucking
@Tackle: Calling people who don’t like a celebrity jealous is their way of aligning themselves with the person they’re defending. It’s kind of like passive star-f*cking.
Niall
@CaptainFabulous: What makes you thunk there isn’t a possibility that Daley will end up being the one breaking DLB’s hearth? It’s not exactly outside the realms of possibility.
Cameron Thomas
TBH, i don’t care either way who he’s dating, I’m ha[[y for him and his man. i just don’t believe its DLB mostly because the report came from the sun newspaper they’re pretty much a tabloid.