Tom Ford sat down with The Hollywood Reporter for an interview that started off cagey and ended up going deep, with Ford touching on his battles with depression and anxiety, as well as constant thoughts of death, and how the realization some years ago that money truly cannot buy happiness has affected him.
Related: In The Spirit Of Giving, Christians Help Tom Ford Sell His Penis Necklaces
Ford is doing press for his new film “Nocturnal Animals,” his first since 2009’s critically acclaimed “A Single Man.”
Whereas “A Single Man” told the story of a middle-aged English professor trying to move on with his life in the wake of his longtime partner’s death, “Noctural Animals” follows a woman struggling to find meaning among the materially obsessed and emotionally vacant art world crowd.
“Susan [played by Amy Adams] is quite literally me,” Ford says. “She’s someone who has material things but realizes — maybe this happened to me seven or eight years ago — those aren’t the things that are important. She is struggling with the world that I live in: the world of absurd rich [people], the hollowness and emptiness I perceive in our culture.”
“[Life] can be an endless, unfulfilling quest for some sort of happiness that is elusive,” he continues. “Because the whole concept of happiness as peddled by our culture doesn’t exist. Nobody lives happily ever after. If you buy this and do that and build this house, you’re not going to be happy. Life is happy, sad, tragic, joyful. But that’s not what we’re taught, that’s not what our culture pounds into our heads.”
He recounts a childhood marked by fear, handed to him by overprotective parents, which still leads him to feel anxious that something might go wrong at any time to this day.
“I live in constant fear that something could change or go wrong. And it’s exhausting, and it’s draining, and it can be upsetting, and it can lead to unhappiness,” he says. “I’m always afraid something could happen.”
Related: Tom Ford Says Half His College Friends Died Of AIDS Before 1990
Ford, who lives in L.A. with his husband and their four-year-old son, reports that he is “in a very good place” now, but it was a peace of mind that was hard won.
“I can remember early thoughts of suicide at 8 or 9 years old,” he says. “Those things are often hereditary — people in my family have had that — as is alcoholism, and that’s also something I’ve dealt with.”
He has been sober for years and attributes that, as well as a strong family life and staying active to keeping depression in check. Still, he admits to having to constantly fight off dark thoughts.
“Death is all I think about. There is not a day or really an hour that goes by that I don’t think about death. I think you are born a certain way. I think you just come out that way,” he admits.
His fashion line remains hugely profitable and successful, yet it seems his interest is more squarely in the film category these days.
Interviewer Stephen Galloway notes that Ford seemed “considerably less passionate” when the subject switched from his new movie to fashion. He says that while he believes some fashion designers are “true artists” he feels “too cynical” to be considered one of them.
“So who is the real Tom Ford?” the publication asks. “He’s a modernist who speaks with nostalgia about the past. A radical who considers himself old-fashioned (‘Loyalty is very important to me’). An insomniac who drinks multiple cups of coffee a day (‘I completely rely on sleeping pills and tranquilizers to go to sleep’). A recovering alcoholic who sees a therapist once a week (‘It used to be two or three times a week’). And an A-lister who critiques the very lifestyle that has made him rich (though never the people who live it, paying $200 for his sunglasses or $3,000-plus for his suits).
“Most of all, he’s both a cynic about the fashion world that made him a star and also a pure romantic when it comes to the film world he now finds himself a part of.”
Related: Trans Model Stands Tall In Dress Made Of Flags From Countries Where Being LGBTQ Is Illegal
“Nocturnal Animals,” which was picked up by Focus Features for $20 million, is currently making the rounds at film festivals.
Ford also recently launched his new fall line in New York, one of the first to experiment with a “see now, buy now” approach, making the clothes on the runway available at stores immediately.
Brian
It’s interesting reading how Tom feels that “anything could go wrong at this moment”. It shows that he’s sensitive and caring…and extremely anxious. I get the feeling that he may be one of these people who cares deeply about the people he loves, and that perhaps he even over-cares for them in case something goes wrong.
He seems like a very interesting person after all.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Waking up every morning next to a memento mori in husband form will make you contemplate such things, Mr Ford.
adamnfool
I do think it’s tough for celebrities if we constantly critique their every word. That being said, I’m going to critique his words.
1) It is not pounded into gay men’s heads that they get a happily ever after. That’s complete nonsense. Perhaps Tom Ford is the man in the high castle, and has access to films that aren’t from this reality.
2) Saying you can’t have “happily ever after” since it’s not reflective of reality is like saying you can’t listen to upbeat songs because of the inevitable heat death of the universe. Just no.
Dreaming of cowboys victoriously riding into the sunset will get you through the less than happy times. It’s how it works.
Now if you excuse me, I’m going to go have my happy endi….
*has a heart attack and dies at the end randomly*
*gets chemically castrated and commits suicide*
*gets beaten to death with a carjack*
*dies of a terrible disease*
adamnfool
Having reread his quotes.. it seems like he’s talking about the point of his new movie for his audience. I guess everyone has their own stories to tell.. but is teaching wealthy materialistic people in LA a lesson really the story that needs to be told the most?
*holds frustrated head in hands*
adamnfool
Damn I must be in a grumpy rant mood.
Oppen
Perhaps he’s depressed because A Single Man was such a terrible film.