1+1=FISH

Tony Perkins Concludes That Condoms Lead To Tyranny, Obviously

gallery-vvoters2Today is all about the airtight logic.

There’s James Franco reasoning that his nude selfies are “for his fans,” acting surprised that bloggers jump at the bait to post them online, the New York gays who look past politics for their love of crappy chicken, the Irish church leader who thinks gays aren’t interested in marriage equality, and now…

Contraception leads to tyranny!

Or so says Family Research Council President/borderline clinically paranoid puritan meat puppet Tony Perkins.

And while this conclusion is so self explanatory it barely even needs explanation, lets work backwards just for fun.

“Contraception is made available as if it were candy which sends a message, well it’s there, it must be there for a reason, and then we’re surprised when — this is not justification, it’s wrong, we are all responsible for our actions — but we’re surprised when people act on these outside factors that they are surrounded by…It leads to tyranny.”

So just to be clear: condoms = candy. Penetration = a packet of skittles. The government = the candyman. The candyman can ’cause he mixes it with tyranny and makes society crumble.

Still some kinks to work out there, but the foundation is solid.

Here’s the full clip if you want to try and follow along with the bouncing ball:

h/t: Right Wing Watch