MONSTER MASH

Tony Perkins Wants To Eat The Big Gay Empire State Building

Immediately after New York passed marriage equality, the Empire State Building lit up in bright rainbow colors. The multicolored tower immediately burned the eyes of Family Research Council president Tony Perkins waking him from his dark sleep and compelling him to attack the metaphoric building with his monstrous bile. Make no mistake, Fay Wray—Perkins is like the King Kong of hate.

Here’s what Mr. Kong had to say about the fabulous building in his cleverly-titled post “A New York State of Blind”:

There was no mistaking the message Friday night when the highest point in the city lit up like a towering rainbow, its colors blazing across the New York skyline. Like a warning flare, the reds and blues and greens exploded over the city, announcing the arrival of same-sex “marriage” to the world. Overnight, New York had become a beacon in the fight for family–a symbol of people who had lost their way.

When the law goes into effect next month, New York will be the sixth and largest state to shatter the definition of marriage in America. To understand the devastation of that defeat, consider this. Within hours, the number of people living in jurisdictions with same-sex “marriage” doubled. With one vote, New York forced more Americans to bow to its twisted definition of marriage than the combined population of Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire, Iowa, and the District of Columbia. And none of it would have been possible without the political cowardice of New York Republicans…

Despite all of the disappointment, God is on the move. Regardless of how things appear, never doubt that He is at work behind the scenes. Rainbow colors may cut through the New York night, but shadows are where you and I are called to shine. The world takes advantage of the darkness, but only the church can set it ablaze.

Oh wait… did he just say that he wanted to burn down the Empire State Building? That’s what we heard. That building is like an emblem of America. It’s like an old-timey Twin Towers. Perkins doesn’t… hate America… does he?

RAWR!!! PERKINS SMASH!!! RAWR!!!

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