Priests gone wild

‘Top’ church official says gay sex within the Vatican has ‘never been worse’

This just in: The Vatican has purportedly become a hotbed for homosexual activity since Pope Francis came along. At least according to one “top” Vatican official.

According to the National Catholic Register, a very reliable senior member of the Curia claims that the extent of gay shenanigans happening inside the Vatican under Pope Francis’ watch has “never been worse.”

Last week, it was reported that police raided a cardinal’s apartment after neighbors reported some unholy goings on. Upon entering the unit, they found themselves in the middle of a wild drug-fueled gay sex orgy.

So far, the Vatican has remained mum about the alleged scandal.

But the Church official confirmed to National Catholic Register that the orgy did, in fact, happen. Not only that, but a “huge homosexual underground in the Church” has apparently been thriving since about 2012, shortly before Pope Benedict stepped down and Pope Francis took over.

Related: Police bust priest’s wild, drug-fueled gay orgy, and now the Pope is pissed

The sinful behavior first became known when a man named Friar Dariusz Oko uncovered what he described as a “homosexual cliques of clergy” extending all the way up to the highest levels in the Church back in 2013.

“They know well, however, that they may be exposed and embarrassed, so they shield one another by offering mutual support. They build informal relationships reminding [one] of a ‘clique’ or even ‘mafia,’ [and] aim at holding particularly those positions which offer power and money,” Oko wrote in a 2013 report.

Since then, a plague of homosexuality seems to have swept through the Vatican.

According Christine de Marcellus Vollmer, a founding member of the Pontifical Academy for Life and president of the Latin American Alliance for the Family, “the smoke of Satan has infiltrated the Church.”

Vollmer claims corrupt high-ranking Church leaders hellbent on “fostering heretical sexual behavior” have formed “a group of extremely powerful old Cardinals of the 1970’s generation of liberals” which is causing “social mayhem,” as evidenced by last week’s gay sex orgy.

The Vatican has yet to issue any comment on the matter.

Related: Naughtier Than Thou: A Brief History of Antigay Religious Leaders Engulfed In M4M Scandals

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16 Comments

  • Juanjo

    Catholic monestaries and rectories have always been full of gay men. One of my close friends was a Benedictine priest for many years and told me stories about all the queens in the priesthood. After all, if you are a devout Catholic boy who is gay, it is the safest place to be. No one is going to be trying to marry you off. His take on it was that so long as you were not aan indiscreet slut, no one cared.

    That siad there are factions in the Church who are always in conflict with each other and engaging in power struggles. If some scandaal like this is being published in media that indicates there is something going on behind the scenes where two or more factions are jockying for position. It has nothing to do with actual homosexuality or even wild sex parties That was just a way to attack the other side.

    • Mykey

      Hmm! “rectories”, the irony, lol!!! Jokes aside, religion will always be a hindrance to human free thinking and knowledge, and religions love holding man at ransom until we’re able to free ourselves from it…

  • rbernard

    The Catholic Church focuses too much on fear, shame, and demonizing consensual human sexuality.
    The fact of the matter is more than half the priesthood is composed of gay men living in fear they will get found out.
    Pew Research did a study a couple of years ago showing 4 out of 5 kids raised in Catholic families no longer call themselves Catholic by the time they were adults. When asked why they dropped out of the church, they said negative Catholic teaching on sexuality was the number one reason.

  • Jere

    I wonder why they seem to be trying to tie all this into Francis. It would seem to be correlation without causation. Clearly all this has been going on for many years…all these gay people in the church didn’t just spring whole from Francis like Aphrodite. The church would solve all of this by simply changing its policies about gay people. If they weren’t in the business of persecuting others for who they are, nobody would care.

    • Kangol

      The conservatives don’t like Pope Francis’s approach on divorced Catholics, capitalism and the unrestrained market’s effects on everyday people, lapsed Catholics who return to the church, ecumenism, etc. So they want to pin this on him, though the gay underground was flourishing under arch-homophobe Pope Benedict. I agree with you about the church changing its policies, but some of the most anti-gay clergy running things are the closeted and secret ones. That orgy was in a Cardinal’s apartment, not some random priest’s.

  • ChrisGMN

    The “Friar Oko” quoted in the story has been published equating pedophilia with homosexuality. He is a nut job. I wouldn’t trust a word he says about anything.

    • rand503

      I wouldn’t either. ““a group of extremely powerful old Cardinals of the 1970’s generation of liberals”??? Hahaha! There are very few cardinals left from the days before John Paul II took over on 1977. The most powerful of them ended up dead within a few years. Yeah, just a coincidence, right?

      Any liberal cardinal who is left from the 1970s had to have been elevated when he in his 30s, and that just didn’t happen back then. They are all gone at this point. So yeah, this guy is blowing smoke and blaming it all on the liberal popes pre-John Paul II. Which means it’s really an attack on Vatican II and Pope John and Paul and John Paul I.

    • Mick406

      rand503, you are right.

      I don’t doubt there are some gay priests. However, the percentage is no more there than in regular society. I’ve been Catholic my entire life. I never knew one priest who was gay. Never had one approach me in any sexual fashion when I was an altar boy for years. Vatican II caused a lot of problems. Some good came of it and some bad. There was such a shortage of priests immediately thereafter that seminaries were not very cautious about who they let in.

      My biggest turnoff of ‘my church’ was/is the Mortal Sin for masturbation. For those of you who don’t know what that means . . . the Mortal Sin, not the masturbation! :) . . . it means if you die before you have asked for forgiveness for doing it, then you go straight to Hell! When I was a teen, I made a bee-line to the confessional booth every Saturday night at 6 to wipe out 7 days worth of jerking off sins! I was only ‘safe’ for about a 12 hour period after I walked out of that booth, and sometimes I only made it an hour or two before I was again destined to Hell! Ha.

      My church, and many, many others are obsessed with SEX. Just look at the Muslims and their ideas about sex. ALL religions have stringent rules on sex, and if you think about it, these rules were all handed down mostly by ancient scribes from the Middle East. It was a control measure. Now that I’m older, I don’t believe God had anything to do with all these ‘rules’. I also cannot see how self-masturbation can be harmful and be considered SINFUL! And definitely wasn’t to anyone else around me! (I was a good aim! Ha. Just had to throw that in there.) I think these old men who wrote the Bible and the Koran were dried up sour-pusses, whose bitterness caused them to write the stringent rules. To me, their motto was: “If it feels good, or if it is fun, then it must be a sin!”.

  • Chris

    Let them purge all the gay men from the priesthood and lesbians from the convents. The whole edifice would just collapse for lack of worker drones. What hypocrisy!

  • Josh447

    It seems high time some of these priests marry each other. That is if they have the bravery to step down and get real jobs that benefit the public rather than peddling guilt to the uneducated masses.

  • Solly

    Enough is enough, Queerty. I’ve been chuckling for years over the fact that you seem to have a full-time employee on the “straight guys do gay things!” beat, but now you are actively carrying water for homophobic bigots.

    To know the Catholic church is to know that a disproportionate number of priests are gay. This is not a liberal vs. conservative thing (if anything, the nastiest gay/abortion/vulnerable-people hating conservatives are more likely to be staging noisy gay orgies than the liberals).

    Pope Francis has been a stronger voice against capitalism/elitists than any other pope of my lifetime. That is why they’re attacking him. Noisy gay orgies have occurred at the Vatican for time immemorial. This is not new. The liberalization that is threatening the status quo is actually caring about vulnerable people.

  • Record Man

    “The smoke of Satan?”

    I’m so stealing this!

  • Ejens005

    Never been worse. As in, the quality has declined? That’s a shame. Especially with God watching and all.

  • Sluggo2007

    Back in the 50’s and 60’s, if a neighborhood boy announced that he was entering the priesthood, everyone knew why.

  • Gates

    With all that stupid mumbo jumbo religion preaches, no wonder sex is rampant in the church, i find it refreshing.

  • Kangol

    Queerty’s writer is being ironic and sarcastic with all the homophobic language in this piece, right? “A plague of homosexuality”? OK, setting the sarcastic tone aside, the church has a number of problem, and those include its ongoing homophobia on the one hand, and its lax response to pedophilia and ephebophilia on the other. Demonizing gay men and LBGTQ people and culture is backwards, and looking the other way when dealing with pedophiles is criminal. Maybe if the church would acknowledge how many priests, bishops etc are gay and start accepting gay people on the one hand, and start drumming the pedophiles out of the church, it would not be in these ongoing messes.

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