Actor Haaz Sleiman made headlines this week when he released a video on social media announcing that not only is he gay, but he’s a “total bottom.”
“I am a gay, Muslim, Arab-American man,” Sleiman said, “and I’m going to take it even further. Not only am I gay, but I’m also a bottom. Not only am I a bottom, but I’m also a total bottom, which means I like it up you-know-where.”
Now, the 41-year-old talks with Unicorn Booty about growing up as a gay Muslim, bottom-shaming in the gay community, and those times he hooked up with Anderson Cooper way back when.
Here some highlights from the interview…
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On the first time he realized he was gay:
I knew I was gay when I was seven years old. I know I was born that way. I spent my whole life hiding. I’m a Lebanese Muslim, growing up in an Arab country. It was not easy for me. I had a very tough childhood. Let’s just say the tone of my life was very dark and very gray. It took life to beat the hell out of me to make me want to come out. I finally realized I am going to either live and thrive or disappear and die.
On bottom-shaming:
Within the [gay] community, bottoms are looked down upon. They are considered less than. There are so many bottoms, and it’s so disrespectful how they are treated. … Bottom shaming is no different than sexism. We don’t take bottoms as seriously. We say, ‘Tops are better.’ And then we eye roll when we hear that someone is a bottom. We hear that men are more worthy than women, and men are the center of the world. It is the same when it comes to the dynamic between bottoms and tops. It is OK if he is f*cking another man but it’s not if he is being f*cked by another man. I don’t accept this. This is not the world I want to live in.
On homophobia in Hollywood:
There are two people right now in power who were so horrible to me. One of them — a producer — told me they wouldn’t hire a closeted gay actor. ‘I never hire gay guys who are in the closet, but if you come out, I will not be able to cast you in a lot of roles.’ Another huge iconic gay figure saw me at a party and he came up to me. He pursued me because he was a fan of my work.
I got excited to share with him that I was gay, and he was like, ‘Oh? Thank you for telling me.’ But his tone changed. He thought I was straight before. Once he found out I was gay and in the closet, he wasn’t interested anymore. A lot of people in the gay community still have an issue when someone else is in the closet. If you’re straight and play gay, that’s awesome! If you’re too gay, you can’t play that straight role.
On hooking up with Anderson Cooper:
We hooked up a few times. Let’s just say I was not for him, he was not for me.
On changing people’s views and empowering LGBTQ people:
Specifically gay people who come from a type of gay culture where it is even more unaccepted and taboo. Whether it’s Islam or Christianity or Judaism, I hope people feel they are not alone and they are very powerful. And they are so powerful that they don’t allow anyone to hurt them. I want people who aren’t gay to have more respect for us. We won’t allow any other way. Maybe that’s a bit ambitious on my end. I guess everything starts with a dream.
Paco
“We say, ‘Tops are better.’ And then we eye roll when we hear that someone is a bottom.”
——
Only “Total Bottoms” do that about other bottoms.
Donston
That has some truth. It does seem most of the bottom-shaming comes from other bottoms or tops and bottoms who don’t believe versatility should “be allowed”.
This man sounds a lil off and defensive. In particular, his sob story about a producer not wanting to work with him because he was closeted. We all know the vast majority of studios, producers and PR companies push for their clients and the people they work with to stay closeted and resist giving major roles to open actors. So, that comes off as a silly thing to bitch about. And what’s wrong with an openly gay person preferring not to hire and protect closet cases? It’s not like he outed the dude.
However, he is right about so many gay and gay-leaning men are obsessed with straight dudes who are willing to “play”, especially in Hollywood. That’s partially because the industry is full of those types of dudes. There’s almost no openly gay or bisexual directors or producers in Hollywood who are married to men or in long term relationships with men. Much of that has to do with so many of them have ephebophilic or hebephilic attractions and also because so many are obsessed with “straight guys who are willing to play”.
Joseph1971
Let me say this – the only gay man that does not like a bottom is ANOTHER bottom. Absolute truth! Answer this – if there were no bottoms then who would tops have to play with? Each other? That’s a laugh. They get online together and what do they do – look for bottoms! No lie!
linniejr
Joseph1971, let me correct you about something, I’m a total bottom and I have nothing against my fellow total bottoms. I do have problems with flippers. Let me explain. I some what cringe at bottoms who make it their business to try to purposely flip a guy whose not into that. Guys I’ve flipped have all been lovers of mine and something that we discussed before we did it. But I digress. Paco. I’m a 50 year old black man who loves to be topped. Maybe it’s just me, but I get more pleasure being topped rather than doing the topping. I don’t roll my eyes when I hear someone is a bottom. Yes I’ve been guilty of saying stuff like “I would have a fit if I thought Shamar Moore was a bottom.” But at the same time it’s an appearance thing. I just think he would look better on top of me. But for the most part, I love my bottom brothers.
Bottom shaming is not my thing. I have some friends who are verse, but as for me, I’m a receiver.
luxmunk
From proud, happy, skilled bottom that loves to top, sounds like someone is keeping a bunch of bitter bottom queens for company . . . and an arsenal of arrogant tops. Either bring your expectations down to earth or get some new friends. Friendly bottoms rock; just ask the tops that appreciate them.
Knight
Paco you are SO CORRECT! As a total top, I have NEVER “bottom-shamed”, since without bottoms, my sex-life would be limited to women and my right hand. All the other tops I know are also equally as grateful. It’s the other bottoms who roll their eyes as in “ugh…more competition” or “I guess we won’t be having sex then”. so, yeah…you are right on the money here.
Trekbike
You’re absolutely correct. It’s every bottom for himself. But, it’s usually the sissy bottoms that believe they’re better bottoms than anyone else. It totally amazes me how hateful gays are to other gays. Maybe I should’ve said competitive, like a bunch of high school girls trying to impress the quarterback.
Spike
For for Anderson…..White boy likes the brown boys!!! Diversity!
But alas two bottoms will never work out.
Celtic
Hmm. Speaking from experience, I take it.
leigy
Haaz Sleiman is Lebanese…which is white – not brown.
The U.S. census, and many others, classify Arabs as White/Caucasian. They are only referred to as ‘brown people’ erroneously by republicans, etc. Casey Casem (Shaggy) was Lebanese. Sure they are often a tan-complexion like Mediterranean-Europeans, but they are white.
Historically, the term brown is/was officially used for people of South Asia, Latinos and Pacific Islanders
leigy
and Southeast Asians, as well…oops forgot them.
But this guy might as well be a Greek or an Italian. And many Lebanese are even lighter than him. Although terms change, so far the Arab-American community at large has not lobbied to be identified outside of the White/Caucasian race.
Giuseppe
AC is a bottom 100%, trust me.
Pax
@Leigy The definition of Arabs as white comes from a 1944 law. It’s 2017 and the overwhelming majority of people living in the USA (and the world not covered by the US Census Bureau) do NOT agree with that definition.
The US Census Bureau has proposed a new stand-alone classification — “Middle East or North African [MENA].”
http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/opinion/2015/07/arabs-white-150716110921150.html
jonasalden
@leigy and Giuseppe: If you hadn’t already shown it by citing the US Census, I would’ve have figured out the two of you were Americans by your almost obsessive nitpicking about race. It’s like a sickness in American society. Just think: this started out about tops and bottoms, but quickly descended into a quibble about whether Middle Easterners are White or not. I’m guessing you two are or consider yourselves to be (the way you’re trying to justify bestowing that “honor” on him). Truly low talk.
Luna1979
@Leigy I’m a blond blue eyed Lebanese and most of my family is very white. When I saw Sleiman was Leb, i thought, wow he’s kind of dark. I’d like to see some other classification option available for Arabs because while Lebs are lighter usually, lots of others aren’t, like Saudis or Egyptians, and it’s bizarre they should mark themselves as white when they’re brown and some even with African ancestry.
nm4047
is the classification not Asia Minor?
ChrisK
The first producer I got. Makes sense he only wants out actors. The second makes no sense. He outed himself yet still defines himself as a closeted actor.
Donston
Being out in the Hollywood industry isn’t the same as being out publicly. Almost all closeted individuals in Hollywood are very well known within the industry. Most closeted actors/singers/producers/etc hook up with other closeted entertainers or out people with some power. It becomes known within the industry pretty quickly.
Bryguyf69
How? What sense is there in that “he only wants out actors”? That makes as much sense as only hiring HIV+ actors (especially only ones who are open about their status). Or rich actors, or poor actors, or Muslim or Christian actors, etc. Or only actors who are bottoms or tops. All of these features aren’t necessarily obvious, and some aren’t openly discussed. Unless the secret, or need to hide it, severely affects the workplace, there is no place for this discrimination. If anything, most workplaces — including my very progressive hospital in New York City — ask you to leave your personal life at home. That doesn’t mean we can’t have photos of same-sex partners or wear crucifixes, but it does mean keeping discussion of it to a minimum during worktime. And the same applies to heterosexuals, atheists, bowlers, football fans, etc.
As for the closet, working in HIV and sexuality, I know the situation well. I have had many closeted colleagues and not once had it affected his/her work or the workplace. So it has never been a factor in our hiring process. Indeed, such discrimination is illegal in New York since such a policy disproportionately affects gays.
If anything, a producer’s responsibility is to his/her investors and sadly, it can still be argued that having an out actor may decrease viewership and profits. This is especially true in foreign sales. US movies and TV shows with gay actors or character would not play well in many African, Muslim and Asian countries. This is especially true if the gay actor plays a heterosexual romantic lead. I’m certainly not arguing that out actors should be discriminated against but this reality goes against the logic of not hiring closeted actors. In other words, a producer’s job suggests that, generally-speaking, s/he should prefer closeted actors over out ones.
The only factors that should influence employment is competency (can s/he act?), compatibility (does s/he work well with castmates?) and suitability (does s/he fit/look the role?). So if audition shows that an actor fulfills those criteria, what’s the problem?
hansniemeijer
A bit a self hatred: he is gay, but a bottom. What’s wrong saying: “I am gay AND a total bottom?
Luckily not all bottoms are looked down upon
stevetalbert
You can tell he is ashamed because he was coy about liking it in his butt.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
“I got excited to share with him that I was gay, and he was like, ‘Oh? Thank you for telling me.’ But his tone changed. He thought I was straight before. Once he found out I was gay and in the closet, he wasn’t interested anymore”
Um maybe he really was just a “fan of [your] work”. I dunno. I won’t say this guy seems a bit unhinged..but certainly a bit reckless
Terrycloth
Confusing article..he’s out but he’s not…but then again he is ?
bigrawtop
He’s out now. He was talking about not being out in the past.
Donston
He tried to shame an interviewer for once asked him about his orientation and says more gay men should play nice to each other and protect closeted individuals. Now, he’s kissing and telling about Cooper.
I gave him props for the brazen and antagonistic way he came out. But like many Hollywood people and individuals who go into middle age still closeted- he seems full of contradictions and self-obsession.
Francis_NG
He just had to drag Anderson into it. Someone is probably thirsty for some publicity
PinkoOfTheGange
Anderson Cooper is out; has been for years; was a badly kept don’t ask we all tell secret for decades before.
So how did he drag any one any where other then the banal boast?
Francis_NG
@PinkOfTheGange Of course I know AC is out. I was referring to the banal boast as you call it. I don’t see how dropping Anderson’s name was relevant to this interview
inthewalnut
Who actually does that (bottom shaming I mean)? Give me all the bottoms!
Aaron
Can I have at least a couple of them? I don’t mind if they are slightly used. ?
Oakknot
I don’t mind telling you I prefer to be a bottom. I don’t know where the idea of bottom shaming came from, I mean the member has to go somewhere.
salex
The over 40 CROWD…like the pre-AIDS gay. I lived in it.
Knight
Exactly!!! Definitely not any shaming coming from us tops. #bottomsrule #bringemon!!!
dfwenigma
How about being a bottom in larger contexts? How about the relationship with a person. A meaningful commitment? Why is it the hook-up is the norm? And why do we as men who love men have this intense need for variety over all else? To me people who are entirely absorbed in sex – be they LGBTQ or straight are entirely narcissistic. And on another note…my thought is this is yet another attempt of a celebrity to shock so as to improve their long term career potential.
Donston
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with “bottom pride”. But he does seem to be looking to tantalize, gain headlines, get pity as well as defend himself for being closeted, instead of just telling his story. And yes, “gay love” and “gay commitment” needs to be far more promoted than “gay sex”.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Anderson narrowly dodged a bullet..or boiling bunny pot
JCW
I am a total bottom in a relationship with a total top. This works for us. He is very astute at appreciating me for being a bottom. He does not “shame” me or any other bottom. Neither do I. I do me and you do you. When it seems the world is against us as a collective whole, we should not be shaming each other within our community. Let’s lift each other up and celebrate our life path.
Doug
I still say this guy is creepy. As a guy who really likes to top, I can assure you I don’t look down on bottoms, nor do any other “tops” I know. I do, however, find a lot of bottoms who feel bad about enjoying what they enjoy and often project it onto the gay community. There’s nothing hotter than a guy who’s really in touch with his butt and makes no secret about that.
vancouverdoug
Wow, another Doug that said exactly what I was going to say. I had to stop to think “Did I post this before and forgot?” 🙂
droptopbm8
This guy is a clown ?
larrytopping
I’m 64 and, in my 20s, 30s and 40s, the “bottom shaming” was nothing like Haaz described. It sounds to me like the gay community’s own internalized homophobia is more severe than it once was. Our community has internalized the overall homophobia of the larger culture for hundreds of years. I’m hearing that, ‘It’s OK to be gay, as long as you play the masculine role.’ So, one result of internalized homophobia is for us to treat our own community members as society’s homophobes treat all of us — the “bottom shaming” is part of that. There are similarities of this in some other minorities: look how African Americans treat each other and you’ll see that there’s a black community-held disapproval of darker-shaded skin and that it’s better to have lighter shaded skin — lighter-shaded black skin is better by African American standards. Minorities (gays, African Americans, etc.) adopt shaming notions from their dominant oppressors because, internally, we feel ashamed themselves, although we probably wouldn’t ever admit it. I know there will be disagreement over this comment.
salex
I’m 89. Bottom shaming existed when I was in my 20’s-30’s. You were a fem if you bottomed. At the time, every gay person was considered as having heavy feminine traits.
droptopbm8
I’ve never felt shamed or ashamed maybe he needs professional help… and some self respect!
ShowMeGuy
Still no clue who he is or what he’s done, other than NOT doing Anderson Cooper. Now I have to google him to see if I even care.
stevetalbert
He didnt say thry did not hook up. He said that they “werent for each other” which the context means that anderson is a total bottom too as far as this guy thinks.
Minerva Pomerantz
Good to hear from another voice in the community. We should be a sex positive community.
coreyandrew
Who????
talktalktalk
why is this clown boasting about hooking up with Anderson Cooper, like it’s a badge of honour? Is that really the best he can do? Sad.
Mike999
You’re the sad one, dude. Pathetic too.
jsmu
Mike999 Says the bitchy queen offering his unsolicited and idiotic criticism.
batesmotel
He boasted about hooking up with Anderson Cooper publicly for attention. Someone with class isn’t going to name names. This has nothing to do with people not knowing if Anderson is gay or not, everybody knows. Just have some class in interviews.
topsyturvy
“Baby if you’re the bottom I’m the top!”
First noticed him in The Visitor. Excellent movie and he was good in it.
luvit00
no shaming and id definitely top him
Bradsman
TMI. Does the world really need to know specifically what he does in bed?
talktalktalk
agreed. The world neither needs to know nor cares
stevetalbert
I need to know, so i can fantasize topping him and think its a real possibilty.
BigWill
Agree
whitakerk861
Bottom shaming…yells a “total” bottom. Shame he chose the word “total.” Nothing shameful with liking to bottom and nothing shameful about liking to top but if you have to use a word like “total” with either than you have more problems between your ears than you have with the gay community making you feel shame. Got to run. Just saw a listing for a luxury apartment for $500/month rent.
surreal33
There is no shame in being a bottom. What is shameful is providing infantile, graphic, description of your sex life. Mr Haaz is a D-list, fraudulent, actor pandering to the lowest common denominator.
Ptelp
?
Ptelp
Well said!!!
Ptelp
The question mark was supposed to be a thumbs up emoji, but it converted to a question mark when I hit post comment.
bigrawtop
If he were describing being a top, would you be offended by the “graphic” discussion. This is Queerty for pete’s sake. If it’s too graphic for you, go read some conservative blog.
jsmu
As if Anderson Cooper were a top?!
stevetalbert
He should get some new friends. Tops and vers guys like bottoms. Its other insecure bottoms who seem to want to put another one down. Competition i guess. Whenever i try to get a small grouo or 3way together, its only the bottoms who ask if there will be other bottoms and then dont want to go if so. Tops and vers never ask.
JackieOMG
If he and Anderson weren’t for each other, I guess that means Anderson is a bottom, too.
Pax
“Sissyphobia: Gay Men and Effeminate Behavior” by Tim Bergling.
“He argues that sissyphobia is common among American gay men, who often celebrate male femininity in some contexts, but who rarely consider it an attractive characteristic.”
surreal33
All narratives within the gay community indicated being feminine, weak and vapid is the essence of a gay man. Movies, television, radio, all depict gay men living in a perpetual episode Rupaul’s drag race.
Sadly the narrative is accepted as status quo with little resistance.
Ptelp
WTF…bottom shaming?!? We live in a world we’re children are shot because of the color of their skin, so I don’t think we need to make up B.S. problems. I’ve been a total bottom the 20 plus years I’ve been out, which happens to be more than half my life. I’ve never once felt “shamed” or made to feel less than because I’m a bottom. My network consists of smart and successful individuals, who just happen to be bottoms. None of them are feeling “shamed” or “less than” because they take it up the ass. If he feels disrespected then he needs to examine his own insecurities. With that said, I complete respect how hard it must have been to come out as a Muslim. I know as a Latino, being gay and part of a hypermasculine culture is not easy. Lastly, telling us AC is gay is like telling us fire is hot. There is no new news there!!!
Random
He wasn’t saying that AC was gay, he was saying they had a few dates.
alanballs
SO grateful I don’t live in the USA…..screwed up government, and screwed up gay “community”.
dean089
We call it a “community” because ‘ambiguous population of whiny bitches forever stuck in middle school’ wouldn’t look good on the brochures.
John
All I’m picturing now is Anderson and this guy bumping their asses together.
Wayne in NYC
It’s common in much of the Muslim community to view homosexuality as being somewhat acceptable as long as they are doing the penetrating and not being penetrated. They perceive receiving as being effeminate and not masculine which goes against their teachings. It’s mostly dependent upon the interpretations of the individual clerics. Since he is Muslim, this has been his perspective. Hence he’s been subjected to more bottom shaming than most in the gay community as a whole. Where would tops be without our bottoms? It doesn’t make sense.
Random
I think there’s some truth in what he’s saying about bottom shaming. I used to be friends with someone who’d make snarky comments about me bottom (even though I wasn’t actually into penetrative sex at the time). On all his profiles he listed himself as a ‘top’ and there was very much a sense that he felt that made him superior.
Anyway, we stopped hanging out but then a couple of years later when we re-connected, he was telling me about his new boyfriend and how this guy was a ‘total top’. Confused, I asked if that meant he was now a bottom and just repeated ‘As I said, he’s a total top’. It was interesting, I thought, that he couldn’t even bring himself to refer to himself as a bottom.
And I think the source of his snarky comments directed at me were his anxieties and insecurities about bottoming and how it made him feel less of a man.
pudman56
Okay, I’m not getting this. I’m 60. Been out since I was 15. Bottomed but not a bottom. I can count on less than two hands how many times in my life I bottomed, maybe one hand. I never felt shame for a bottom, not did I feel any kind of “pride” for being a top or for other tops. I just found it really sad that A position has to matter so much as to whom someone falls in love with. And no, think what you may, my whoring days of youth were short lived. I didn’t allow myself to explore bottoming enough to see if I, admittedly, could or would ever want to get over the pain it causes. That, and only that, is the reason I’m not a bottom. But no matter, all 60 years of my life I’m a gay male.
pudman56
Besides, don’t you need to be a bottom if the race that calls themselves “tops” are to survive?
Esscourt
Cooper is a boring, albino-like twit. He turned his back on Kathy Griffin when she needed his support.
Scotty2Naughty
A fake friend
hayleymills
Shunning Kathy Griffin for posting a pic holding a Trump mask with ketchup?
I am Team Kathy all the way and lost all respect for wimp Cooper.
(Whew, finally got that off my chest.)
CastleSF
Have they no shame? How can one talk about their private preferences so publicly? I think there are a lot more tops out there but they are just quieter and more low keys than these guys.
oldpluto
I believe that this conversation has gone off topic. Top or bottom, we still need to support each other in this Trump/Pence era. I have found that tops find bottoms and vice versa and things work out in the end (pun intended). Haaz Sleiman comes from a very different culture than those of us in the States. We have no idea of what he had to endure in the closet in his country. Let’s thank someone who has come out of the closet in a big way by appreciating the gesture. It will only eventually make it easier for other men from the middle east to step out as well. (P.S. Anderson Cooper has nothing to do with this conversation and why be so nasty about him anyway. His being out only helps others to do the same.)
batesmotel
I’ve never heard of this guy, but he’s obviously not a class act for openly announcing that he slept with Anderson Cooper a couple of times. That was obviously done for attention and headlines so he can get in a movie. I love that he sees neither were for each other, but they still managed to sleep with each other a few times. It took them that long to realize there’s nothing there. You don’t hear heterosexual actors running around like Julia Roberts saying she had sex with Kiefer Sutherland, but ultimately weren’t for each other. I’ve also never heard any gay guy or straight person for that matter shame a bottom, ever. Don’t know who he hangs around with it. Sounds like he needs some acting lessons on how not to act.
Terrycloth
I can’t picture Anderson Cooper doing much but laying there ..oh and talking ALOT
dean089
Just another attention whore getting exactly what he’s looking for. if the only thing you can say for yourself is that you take it up the ass you might want to consider getting an actual life.
jpcolter
I don’t believe a word of his claims about Anderson Cooper. Anyone with a shred of morals would not say anything like that so this just screams look at me. This guy is a douche.
nm4047
‘I wasn’t for him & he wasn’t for me’, sounds like 2 cows in a paddock. 🙂
jhon_siders
Cooper is a top ???? he looks like really fragile bottom !!!
bigrawtop
Love his honesty and bravery. More people need to speak out about the homophobia. I hate gay men who don’t support other gay men and worship straight guys.
bigrawtop
This is his experience, yours may be different. When you get some iota of fame and get interviewed, you can tell yours. As for dishing on Anderson, I think he was asked about him.
girldownunder
Are men that stuck– they can’t imagine anything except what they read? really?
gayjim1969
The sources of bottom-shaming include the discrepancy between typical masculine “ideals” in Western society–especially in the US–and the diversity of real-life manliness, and many men’s insecurities in dealing with their’s, and other men’s, variations from those social norms.
Since men and women’s gender roles have loosened over the past few decades, this has lessened somewhat in society overall, but many people still deal with these issues on an individual level and the idea that bottoms are less masculine, more passive, and embody being “men” because they penetrate others is still prevalent in peoples’ minds. How often do gay/bisexual men and women say, “He has such a big dick, it’s such a waste that he’s not a top.” We don’t know that he’s a total bottom, but that’s not the point–that statement inherently shames bottoms and puts tops on a pedestal. We often don’t mean to do it, but we do.
Behaviors and don’t have to be conscious or intentional to be behaviors, and that includes shaming behaviors.
Notright
Kinda gettin tired of hearing about ‘shaming’. Its like anytime someone has a different preference or opinion than you it’s ‘shaming’. Bottoms have preferences too. Many bottoms won’t even mess with a dude that’s below 6 inches. That’s their right. Anyway if you want to learn how to be a good bottom abroad go here. https://thegayexpat.com/being-a-bottom-abroad/
NickSimons
I’m totally gobsmacked at the amount of time and energy folks have put into this boring subject. Surely, all we need to know is we enjoy sexual encounters with men, what positions we take up in that activity is entirely up to us. Personally I consider anyone who says they are 100% anything to be small minded, unadventurous & lacking in imagination. I have enjoyed sex with women, who knows, I may again, does this make me bisexual? I prefer the term ‘sexual’ as opposed to ‘asexual’know. That’s all anyone else needs to know!
EquesNiger
I was struggling to recall what I had seen him in, as a quick perusal of his work showed nothing that rang a bell. Then recalled his face in an obscure gay-themed film where he was supporting as a concert pianist pursuing much younger guy. It was “Those People” – quite a decent film as I recall.
I wish him the best. The guy has some talent, and definitely has steamy sex appeal on screen.
The bottom thing is neither here nor there, as is his being gay.
jussie_roderick
“Bottom-shaming” is definitely a thing, and it can be as simple as seeing a feminine gay and jokingly whispering “Bottom” to your friend, as if it’s a bad thing. I’m surprised how many gays have never experienced it, but I guess it depends on where you are and what kind of ideas surrounding gay sex roles you’ve been imbued with. Bottoms have always been linked to fem guys, who are judged more harshly for not being masculine. It’s not that hard to understand tbh.
Knight
Hey bud, I get what you are saying there, although I think you are confusing a running joke with shaming. Yes, it’s the joke that butch guys will be tops and fem guys will be bottoms…but pretty much any guy who has had sex with another guy quickly learns this is absolutely not true. My personal catch-phrase is “Are you a bottom? Cuz you’re about to be….” But it’s just a playful ice-breaker as opposed to “shaming” someone.
Knight
I respect this actor for coming out, but as stated repeatedly above, I take issue with this so-called “bottom-shaming”. As a total top, neither I nor any other top I know has ever done (or seen this). I think it may come from OTHER bottoms as either sour-grapes (“I thought he was cute…but turns out he’s a bottom TOO…”) or as in competition (“this town is overrun by bottoms…where are the tops?”).
I also find it odd that this guy still identifies as muslim. Maybe he means he was raised muslim? But it sounds like he still calls himself that. Well…hope it works out for him. I know there is a LOT of man-on-man (actually more specifically man-on-boy) sex within the Arab/Somali/Afghani/Persian muslim community. But it’s just not talked about openly.
draven
I love being a bottom. My bf is a top…….wink…..all my top past bf’s always want to try my 10+ or think about it. Some of me ex’s say thinking about my missle drives them crazy. I’m also black American extremely good looking…. not vain though. I told my parents I was gay when I was 5 years old. My dad thought I was cool. I have a 27 year old fiancé who wants to try bottoming and I’m going to give it to him good too someday in the future ?
lazlicious
This guy and Anderson didn’t mesh because Anderson is a TOTAL bottom too. Sloppy, sloppy bottom.