his story

Travon Free Is An Actor, Athlete, Comedian, Brother, Frat Boy. Oh, And Bisexual

I’m sure when you were presented with Christianity at whatever point in your life if you’re Christian or whatever religion you may be, you didn’t ask for proof that everything they told you was true. You just believed it. It’s a matter of faith and why should gays and lesbians be excluded from society based on something no one has any real concrete proof of? By the way, the man who commissioned the bible to be made, you may know him as King James or read from a King James Version Bible; well he was also a gay man. Funny how it all works out right? So to teach your children that a group of people are bad or wrong is no different than what white people did to black people all throughout early American history. Why continue a cycle of hate when we can foster a culture of love and equality?

All Jesus ever talked about was love and peace for EVERYONE. Funny how most Christians miss that part. I think the true God, if you want to call it that, teaches living life based on love and equality not fear and exclusion. If given the choice today, I don’t think Jesus would even be Christian; the way people try to spread hate and discrimination in his name. Living your life based on the Bible is no different and just as much of a choice as me picking up a Harry Potter book and choosing to live by its contents.

If you truly believe that when God judges how you lived your life no matter how great it was and how many great things you did for people that he will say “well too bad you did it while being gay so I don’t care, it doesn’t count” then I feel sorry for anyone who believes that. All religions share a common thread, to use love in order to live the best life possible, and that there is a higher power that guides us along with a better place to get to.

I believe that the Christian based opinion about LGBT people speaks to the general arrogance of most Christians believing that it’s their way or the highway which is what turns many people off to the that particular religion. You could have been born anywhere else in the world and whatever the native religion is that what you would be, and would that make you wrong or hell bound? I don’t think so. I think more people should consider things of that nature before condemning everyone else. After all, when did asking for love and acceptance become so wrong? Shouldn’t that be easy for someone with Christian beliefs? Maybe in a perfect world.

I feel good that I’ve made it this far and done this much in my life. Sometimes I wonder how differently things would have turned out had I not kept being bisexual a secret. It’s a lot more complicated than just being gay. Because bisexuals live like unintentional double agents with one side always in the closet depending on whom you date. But I’m no different than anyone else really. Bisexuality doesn’t affect my driving habits, my vision, or when my bills are due. If external details of my life offer no incentive to come out, my inward life cries out for it. Most of us grow up presumed straight until “proven” gay, and it may take years to realize that neither label really fits who you discover you are.

A bisexual identity can be difficult to maintain because, unless I date both sexes at once people will use my current relationship to define my sexuality, and that isn’t something I want to be defined by. I want to be defined by me and the things I do and the type of person I am. To hear someone say you can’t be gay and masculine when I’ve done it for 25 years kind of makes that notion a bit false. Most people are hung up on the stereotypes about gay people that they forget they are actually real people who look and act many different ways. No one has ever looked at me and thought I was anything other than straight. Is that not proof enough?

It doesn’t make sense to have to come out all the time and everywhere. And contrary to popular belief about bisexual people, yes we do exist, no I don’t get a sexual smorgasbord, an open relationship, or a lavender Toyota Prius. I just get peace of mind. The comfort of resting in who I am and knowing that no matter what anyone says I have every right to be me. Quite frankly, what other people think of me is none of my business. I couldn’t have said that five or 10 years ago. Over the years I’ve come to learn that in light of my strengths and in spite of my weaknesses, I am doing a beautiful thing with my life and at this point I couldn’t be happier.

I was fortunate enough to not have to deal with being bullied for “looking gay” or for what people thought I was, not to mention many people don’t pick on someone 6’7 250 lbs either, so I can only empathize in that facet. But I can relate to the self hatred, nights spent crying wishing you were different, being terrified of someone finding out, asking repeatedly “Why me God?”, but as I got older I began to realize, why not me? I am a true minority in every since of the word, I’m black, 13% of the population, I’m 6’7, far from the average height of a human being, and I’m bisexual, which represents approximately 10% of the population. So I can assure you my life experiences are and have been quite unique.