It’s official. Like him or not, Trump is now the President of the United States of America, which means he’s a role model–and not just for people who voted for him or who live in the U.S. When he mocks a disabled reporter or trash talks women from his global stage, he’s telling the world that it’s OK to be a bully and say whatever is on your mind regardless of how it may affect others.
So what does this have to with the LGBTQ community, which generally leans toward the liberal side of things? Whether we realize it or not, the words and misdeeds of people like Trump leave their mark. You don’t have to be what the world perceives as a typical supporter to follow their example.
Related: In Trump we don’t trust: What it means to be trans in the era of DJT
When Teflon Trump waves the “politically incorrect” flag, also known as “assholery,” over and over, and we keep letting him get away with it, we’re sending a message that bad behavior won’t necessarily go unrewarded.
That message can resonate with people who voted for Hillary Clinton, and it seems to have slowly seeped into the gay community over the last several months.
Grindr has never been a bastion of subtlety or delicacy, but guys there are increasingly treating each other like mere flesh for fantasy. To too many, we’re now all merely anatomy, not even worthy of being spoken to in complete sentences. “Hung?” “Into?” “Top?” “BBC?”
Of course, size and role have always mattered on hook-up apps, but as a friend pointed out on Facebook, guys on Grindr have recently become “more severely terse.” In part, it’s the ongoing effect of the social media age. People are now free to say what’s really on their minds, show their true colors, because the internet allows them to do so anonymously. It’s also the era of instant gratification. Everybody wants their candy—and with as little effort as possible.
Related: These courageous HIV advocates will lead the way against Trump in 2017
It’s no coincidence that, as Trump rose from political joke to the 45th U.S. President, spreading his message of non-acceptance throughout the world, Grindr behavior has simultaneously become considerably cruder. Few guys, it seems, bother wasting their time on complete sentences anymore. Some don’t use words at all, only sharing a series of XXX pics in hopes of catching their prey.
I don’t think gays have gotten ruder and cruder because they’re bad people. And they’re no more horny than they were back when Trump was best known as the “You’re fired” guy on The Apprentice. But as he assumes his new position behind the desk in the Oval Office, everything has changed. His spectacular success in spite of a continuous stream of social scandals has conditioned many of us to think it’s OK to ignore rules of etiquette, if questionable means lead to desirable ends. Let’s cut to the chase, throw decorum out the window. All that matters is winning the prize—a roll in the hay, the presidency.
The cause and effect isn’t as simple as Trump tweeting something outrageously indecorous and a gay guy somewhere in Middle America thinking, Oh, now I can start sending unsolicited nudie pics to hot boys on Grindr. It’s more circuitous and far-reaching than that. When irresponsible social behavior at the top goes unchecked, it fosters a global environment where sensitivity and tact are no longer social priorities. Consciously or subconsciously, we’re all affected.
Related: Twitter feed documents downtrodden Trump supporters’ regrets over voting for their guy
And it’s not just on the online hook-up scene. I’ve been writing about LGBTQ and race issues for a decade now, and recently the comment sections of politically minded articles written by me and by others have been filled with such blatant bigotry that I’ve had to look away. So many people seem to be tossing out their filter and letting their true colors shine too brightly.
It’s like we now have permission to give in to our basest basic instincts. I’d bet money that somewhere, at this very moment, some Grindr user who calls himself “XXL” is boasting, “I don’t even wait. And when you’re XXL, they let you do it. You can do anything… grab them by the balls.”
Trump didn’t create this particular monster. He’s not that smart. But he’s tapped into something that’s been bubbling under the surface, waiting to spill over. I’m sure he wouldn’t approve of those increasingly more brazen x-rated shots on Grindr (he is, after all, up with straight white men only and, as he said so himself, has “never had a gay thought in his life”), but they’re part of the package in this new age of uncensored and unaccountable.
Do what you want. Say what you feel. And you might still get to be President one day.
Related: Gay men, please stop using the term “BBC,” It’s racist, blogger says
Jeremy Helligar is the author of Is It True What They Say About Black Men?: Tales of Love, Lust and Language Barriers on the Other Side of the World. You can tweet him @Theme4Gr8Cities
This article includes links that may result in a small affiliate share for purchased products, which helps support independent LGBTQ+ media.
Mo Bro
Liberal Logic 101:
It’s always someone else’s fault when you start burning things.
Jack Meoff
You are the example that proves his point.
scotshot
Another good example of alternative truth.
Daniel-Reader
Conservative Logic 101:
You must uphold our human rights when we are violating your human rights.
Mick406
You are so right, Mo Bro!!! One’s behavior is decided by one’s self. No Trump or any other person defines how you want to act. What makes Queerty think that all of us who read this web page are anti-Trump? I voted for him. I hope he does a good job in refreshing this country. Stop with the negative shit about him until he does something to be negative about!
dwes09
@Mick406
You are clearly not paying attention (like most of the tiny minority of gay regressives you have a tenuous grip on reality). He has already done quite a bit to be negative about, not the least of which is the continued unabashed lying of both trump himself and that of his surrogates.
While it is undeniable that a certain percentage of homosexual men and women vote republican, it is noteworthy that a much smaller percentage than usual voted for trump. Generally 25% of gay folks vote on the right, in this election is was closer to 14%. Only the dullest of the dull among us apparently fell for Trumps bull.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
I’ve certainly seen some “alternative facts” when it comes to dick size.
jkthsnk
So don’t let them get away with it, but watch your mouth? What the fock are you on about?
GayEGO
I do have to keep myself under check, I tend to get nauseated when I see or hear Trump and his ilk, especially Kellyanne Conway, his advisEE.
He BGB
I can’t blame Donald for men being slu*ts,on Grindr. Isn’t that basically what this article says? I thought it was going to talk about how Christians think gays are the meanies now.
dwes09
And I thought it was going to address the general decline in civility (which affects me as well as patience with regressives wears thin). The article is a bit odd for sure.
Neonegro
@dwes09, are you not too old to be calling others name for disagreeing with you.
calling gays who voted for Trump dullest of the dull shows that you are an imbecile.
Neonegro
Oh yeah, Trump is now responsible for the “bitchiness” of gays.
jamih
What the hell is “gay etiquette”?
Gary_Gans
Sleeping on the wet spot? Cleaning up the Back Nine before you allow someone to play Putt Putt Golf? Telling everyone about everything? Shagging in the pool/jacuzzi of your in-laws when they are home? Not sharing responsibilities re: house cleaning, pet cleaning of litter (and other hygeine issues), gardening, and cooking? Using the toilet while the other is in the bathtub/shower, especially with dropping off the kiddies at the pool? Farting in bed when you are spooning?
Gary_Gans
jamih, I was just trying to lift the tension of these discussions, because we need to come together as a Community, where we must stand up for the entire LGBTQI Community. For Women’s Rights. Civil Rights. Rights for the Disabled. Rights for the Elderly. Rights for every child to be given a chance to Learn and attend Higher Learning without placing them $200K+ in debt, so they can earn and pay the higher taxes with their wages without crying that it is unfair. Rights for those that can’t find a job because the Manufacturing jobs were sent overseas by people like Trump and his Cabinet by investing in carbon neutral industries’ research and development can release the reliance on Fossil Fuels, where coal polluted our air, water. and killed those that worked in those collieries. And Rights of those that come to do the jobs you do not want to do. The Right to hear the Facts, and NOT the “Alternative Facts,” which are better known as “Lies.”
This demand for the end of toxic banter must come from all. These are, after all, your fellow Americans. This “Divide and Conquer” has been an issue since before the days of our Revolution, when the Mattachine Society wanted our Diversity to be quelled, and they wanted us to keep quiet and look like McCarthy’s ideals of White Conformity, thrown onto the other Races, Religions, and their place of birth.
These “Alternative Facts” started since Christopher Columbus with the Spaniards, and from the English since Jamestown and Plymouth, where many were attempting to flee discrimination for their Rights. Yet these immigrants, and many that followed since, have forgotten their humility and lives of persecution, and initially started this horrid levels of American Society, which treated the Indigenous Americans that have been throughout the Western Hemisphere for far longer than the “Alternative Facts” were written as “history” by some faiths and nations.
Yes, the United States of America for many years was a not-so-silent Nation, filled by xenophobic, misogynist, homophobic, racist, and elitist since its Discovery and Foundation, but the Founding Fathers understood that America was far from perfect, but knew that those ‘inalienable Rights’ would need to be expanded.
American History covers up the Truths about the Indigenous Americans, and did what the Whites wanted in this charade of “In God We Trust” on your currency since the mid-1950’s, although it clearly breaks the First Amendment. Most of you have recited your Pledge of Allegiance after the placed “under God” in it at the same time. These are un-constitutional, as it designates one Faith’s distinction and supremacy over many other Faiths. This fallacy forced the Hayes Code with films; the Communist Purge of Hollywood Stars; and has controlled what will be successful by their Ratings system. These also killed many LGBTQI people and covered it up, while depicting us as predatory pædophiles in order to justify these unpunished deaths for many decades.
And now a New Era of persecution and hatred is attempting to remove the Rights that millions have died for, and from what has happened in one week is clearly displaying the end of Democracy unless you begin to stand up for all of your Countrymen, not just those that can afford homes in outrageously overpriced, in ‘civilised’ locations of repressive privilege. His Executive Orders have already proven his intentions, and it is not good news for minorities that are being weighted down by the dropping of Taxes for Corporations and the very few, so for these actions he has helped those that voted for him. For now.
Many are clueless of how dangerous his words and its parallel to other examples in History, because from their perspective their wealth is growing exponentially when compared to the remainder of the 86% in our Community that are feeling his actions hitting them very soon. By the time these “Alternative Facts” come to the point where that 14% that voted for him are impacted by extreme homophobia, even for those that can afford expensive lawyers to draw up Contracts that protected them (temporarily) from losing their Rights and the Children they have adopted will be taken from them will full unity in Opposition occur, but by then, as written by a Lutheran Minister, there will be no one to stand up for you. Just look at what he has signed into Law. The ACA is going, and nothing is even drawn up for presentation to the President, his Cabinet, and the Alt-Right members of Congress to read with enough contemplation that his actions are placing your Rights at Risk.
Those in Congress will not be able to turn to expand Medicaid or Social Security, as they are placing up bills that will cut these programmes massively, and frankly they do not care. If you are hoping that after your retirement accounts were washed away a decade ago Social Security will be able to cover for it will be in for a huge surprise. His Inaugural Speech was the ugliest of all Speeches made after the Swearing-in of Trump and Pence.
There is nothing good coming from this, and as a Legal Scholar I am asking you to open your eyes. You are losing your Rights by doing nothing now. Last Saturday one of the largest global actions took place, in 500 cities in the USA, and throughout the World, including your Allies, rose up in their millions to protest the man whose impact on the World is demanding absolute devotion to a Sociopathic Narcissist that is not fit for that Office.
We already see what is happening. I will never bow to Trump, his Cabinet that is the Swamp, and his policies. I would rather die standing up for the Rights of so many Americans I love than live on my knees, being silenced by a man that didn’t win the majority of votes in his own Nation and has placed the USA are a country under threat of Hate Crimes and repression of the Press. His is a pathological Liar that has committed Sedition and Treason, and is rapidly eradicating all Press their Credentials unless they gloss over his destruction of America and the World.
I am responding to those that ask all of us to wait and see in order to place Judgement on a man that Lies and Divides so many in his own Country. The Election was tampered with by the Russians. If you think that this was done for free you do not understand Putin and his background. Trump intends to follow his orders. Your Secretary of State is a close friend of the Russian Dictator. I believe that Trump’s ability to perform the Office of the Presidency has been compromised, and I’m not waiting for the nuclear missiles to make my sober conclusions about Trump, Pence, and his other loyal players that will use Breitbart, the umbrella Hate Crimes group of Neo-Nazis, White Supremacists, and Extremists that give Trump the Nazi salute, and want us to call them the “Alt-Right,” and nay-sayers that are willing to accept his Lies as the “Alternative Truth.” Be very careful of what you are relinquishing to his leadership. History has seen this on many occasions in the past. Step back and take a closer look. You will come to the same conclusions of many people that are not all Clinton Supporters. We support the Equality of the LGBTQI Community, and the Human Rights that millions have died for. Good Luck.