A funny thing happened on one gay man’s way to turning 50… He suddenly turned hot. And he didn’t even have to do anything!
“I have no idea, exactly, how the expression ‘hot’ become associated with me, nor am I completely comfortable with the phrase,” writes in a new op-ed.
He continues, “I learned a long time ago that I’d never be one of those guys who turns everyone’s head at a party, and I could never post two Facebook selfies and write something like ‘beard or no beard?’ and get 75 gazillion ‘likes.'”
All that changed, however, when he turned the big 5-0.
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t some point during the past few years, I became sexy, objectified, a prize. … ‘Daddy’ is now one of the most sought-after types of men in the gay ether. It’s a Thing.”
While his sudden sexiness has taken some getting used to, he’s definitely not complaining:
I’m bombarded with young men (and men my age) offering me carte blanche to their derriere accouterments, in between the occasional “Back off, Gramps!” Physically speaking, these are the same men who denied it to me when I was their age. Sometimes it’s a bit creepy (“You look just like my dad and I love incest”), but most of the time it’s as sexy as Matt Bomer and… fill in the blank.
So what’s the takeaway from all this?
Put simply: If dating’s got you down, just remember… Your best days may very well be ahead of you. And, depending how old you are, they could be way ahead of you.
Related: PHOTOS: Ten exceedingly hot men demonstrate the art of aging gracefully
“My time as a hot guy has finally arrived,” “It can happen to anyone at any age, and, like a homecoming queen or ‘Star Search’ winner, I need to live in the moment. Like everything else, it will soon grow old.”
h/t: HuffPo
bsealy1
I’m 48 and still waiting for this magical “daddy” status I’ve heard so much about. It ain’t happening over here for me (at least not yet). If anything I’m ignored by younger guys now more than ever.
ChrisK
I turned 50 this year and it’s mostly BS. You don’t magically go from rejection to everyone wants to be with you by turning a certain age. Yeah, there are those that like the daddies but it mostly just comes from maturity and just taking care of yourself.
He probably has a bias for young guys so he probably spends most of his time on sites like Grindr which skews younger.
Walker
I turned 40 recently and I’m going through the same thing. It’s a thing. But I’m also 40 and, unlike this guy, find the notion of having a lot of empty meaningless sex with people half my age embarrassing rather than empowering.
artguy1000
“Hot daddies” are just older, well built (or worked out) guys who fit the ancient archetype of the butch, dominant older man in control. If you’re a slightly effeminate, bottom guy at 50, you’re pretty invisible.
middletonk
Being a “slightly effeminate guy” is not really this image that comes to mind when you think “hot daddy”. Clearly the author stated that he worked out and gained confidence which led to his “hot daddy” status. While I work out regularly, I am no where near as buff as the author but have been referred to as “hot” and “daddy”. To me it did seem to happen overnight that I went from invisible to being noticed. Much of one’s confidence comes from maturity and attitude. A nice body does add to the mix.
I know many a effeminate bottom that are totally confident in themselves, have amazing personalities and I love ’em. If you don’t like or aren’t comfortable with something about yourself, work to change it. Not because of what others are looking for or to attain an image but because you don’t like it.
Relating to another comment above, there are so many people out there having empty meaningless sex (gay and hetero) that it seems rather silly to make that connection with the author. By the way, I think the author is a hot daddy and he will most certainly end up in one of my fantasies.
davidtoussaint
thanks, middletonk. As the subject of the piece, I should add that most of the attraction does, indeed, come from bottoms, but they are the same men who used to have no interest. I think it’s an interesting phenomenon. Also, to the person who wrote the first comment: bottoms who have complete confidence in their preference are amazingly attractive. They embrace it and it makes them sexier. I enjoy dating men of all ages, but, as middletonk said, I don’t think of it as meaningless. If I go out with anyone (and I prefer men closer to my age), it’s because I find them extremely attractive. To somehow denigrate that as meaningless (as someone else wrote) makes no sense to me. Enjoy life! Enjoy sex! Don’t judge. Anyway, thanks for your astute comments. It’s much appreciated. –David
surreal33
Sex appeal is innate! Men who exude confidence, warmth, personality, are super sexy. As men mature and really own their sexuality it is quite irresistible. It is extremely rare for young men to have such qualities, therefore, certain older men can become desirable. In essence, it really comes down how you view yourself. If you believe you are sexy and attractive it becomes reality.
Rob91316
You nailed it, surreal33! It’s more about the attitude than the appearance. As someone who just turned 50 and is enjoying the best years of his life (so far) in middle age, I can attest from personal experience that others seem to react more positively to me, in general, regardless of my looks, because I feel more confident in my own skin than ever before. Truth be told, however, I am also happy with the way I am aging physically, and feel that I am better-looking now at 50 than I was as a skinny, young twink.
Frank
Everything has to do with confidence and you do not have to wait until you are 50 until you embrace and embody it…
However, in the end if you are allowed to be made into a “fetish” then you have accomplished nothing but become someone (jock, Black, Asian, etc) on a list that someone can say that they slept with…
richard2179
Wow,
Nice to finally read some comments on Queerty that are enlightening and not internet trolling personal attacks. Thanks for sharing!
aDiOrableguy
Def a handsome man!! 59 looks good on him.