When we last heard from this self-described heteroflexible Redditor, things weren’t going so well on the homefront.
He broached the subject of his once-in-a-blue-moon desire to get down with other guys with his girlfriend, and it didn’t go so smoothly.
Well, turns out the saying is true: communication really is everything.
He recently updated the internet on his relationship bump and what he learned from it:
So this is a bit late, but there was a lot of interest in my last post and I thought I’d give you guys an update on what happened.
She came back from her trip late that night and we sat down immediately to have a talk. I had this big plan about what I was going to say and how to explain what my feelings were better, give everything more context etc. but in the end none of it was necessary as she dove straight in..
She said that she was sorry that her reaction was a little harsh. She explained that she has zero problem with gays/bisexuals but that when it’s with her own partner it feels different. She agreed maybe it is close-minded but she said it’s an instinctive reaction. She said she is honestly not 100% comfortable with the idea, but that realistically it isn’t that big of a deal. She said she doesn’t truly understand the whole “it’s more about dick than being attracted to men” thing, but that she understands human sexuality is complex and believes me.
She said that she really liked how I explained myself with regards to saying assertively that I know exactly what I feel, what I want and that it’s for nobody else to try and tell me otherwise. Apparently my confidence in my sexuality and that the fact that I seem completely unconflicted with it makes it less of big deal.
So, in the end, I just kind of nodded and said that she had pretty much already come to all of the conclusions that I was about to try and get her to. We laughed and made up.
So it’s been over a week now and there have no more issues. She has actually brought it up a few times in a humorous way, making fun of me, which I am totally okay with. I’m just glad it’s all out in the open and not too big of a deal anymore.
tl;dr: Girlfriend does a u-turn, ends up being, if not 100% comfortable, able to accept it and be okay with the fact. Lesson learnt – give people time to process things before jumping to totalistic conclusions.
EDIT – Also, I think I am just going to go all out and state early in a relationship that I would say I am 95% straight. That way you can avoid major conflict later if it would be an issue and also I think you can learn a lot about a person in how they react.
Enlightened mostly-straight guy for the win.