Following Tegan Zayne’s allegations earlier in January, two more men have come forward to accuse porn star Topher DiMaggio of rape.
Talking to Hornet, a man calling himself “Dan” alleges DiMaggio raped him at an afterparty:
“Things went by, people left the party, and the next thing I remember is that I am alone with Topher in this place.
I don’t know if I fell asleep and he woke me up, or how exactly I got into this position, but I was in the bedroom, I wasn’t wearing clothes, I was face-down, and he was trying to have sex with me.
I remember saying ‘No, I don’t want to do this’, and he said, ‘No, don’t worry about it’, and that’s kind of exactly what he said to Tegan. He was like, ‘No, it’s fine, don’t worry about it’.
He inserted himself inside of me and started to have sex with me.
I said, ‘Stop, no, this hurts’, and he said, ‘Just don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it’. And he kept going and going and going and I just remember saying ‘No, please stop, no, please’.
And I remember… I could see it and feel it in my head. I could remember where I was, where my body was, the pain, where he was, and then he finished inside me.”
After the incident, this man claims he received medical treatment and the full panel of STD tests. He was given anti-retroviral HIV meds.
Related: Adult star Tegan Zayne accuses co-star Topher DiMaggio of rape
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He says he didn’t alert the police because he was “frightened” of the potential consequences.
It was Zayne’s accusations that inspired him to open up about the alleged event:
“Seeing my abuser called out for what he did sparked me to say, ‘Fuck it, it happened to me, too, and that fucker did it to me, too’. And I want to say something. Because there are probably others.”
Talking to StraightUpGayPorn (site NSFW, but always a good read), a 33-year-old man who calls himself Bryan claims he was also raped by DiMaggio, at a friend’s house after an evening of clubbing and drinking:
“That’s where it happened, at the bathroom in the house. That’s where it got violent. I had to go pee, so I went to the bathroom, but he followed me into the bathroom. He said, ‘I have to take a leak as well’, and I was like, ‘Whatever’.
I let him go first, and he peed. Then I go to pee, and he got right behind me. Next thing I know, he pushed me forward against the wall behind the toilet, and then he pushed my face against the wall, really hard. My lip busted open on the wall, and I started tasting the blood.
He just kept saying, ‘It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine’. And then he pulled down my pants all the way. Remember, I was still trying to pee, but I couldn’t. And then I felt him behind me, and I realized what he was really trying to do. So, I said, ‘No, don’t. Stop.’ I kept saying ‘No.’
Then I said, ‘I don’t bottom.’ I kept saying ‘No’ again, and then again he was all, ‘Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry. It’s fine.'”
Related: Adult star Topher DiMaggio denies raping Tegan Zayne in deleted — and totally plagiarized — tweet
He says the assault went on for 10-15 minutes:
“When he finally stopped and he let me go, I asked him if he was finished, and he was like, ‘Yeah. I busted twice.’ He pulled up his pants and walked out of the bathroom.”
Bryan told his mother and close acquaintances about the incident but also didn’t report the rape to police:
“At first, I was unsure where the line was drawn, and whether or not it was crossed to be called a rape. But then I was like, no, I said ‘No’, and he kept going, and he was violent, and by definition this was rape.”
DiMaggio denies Zayne’s allegations, saying, “These horrific accusations have shocked me to my core. All of my relations with this person have been consensual and willing.”
He hasn’t made any sort of statement about these new claims.
Hard Day. Harder Hike ??. Let’s make it a good 2018! pic.twitter.com/MYXezImff6
— Topher Dimaggio (@TopherDimaggioo) January 26, 2018
ChrisK
“two more men have come forward to accuse porn star Topher DiMaggio of rape…..He says he didn’t alert the police because he was “frightened” of the potential consequences”.
Two statements that don’t make any sense. What consequences might those be. DiMaggio is going to send a hit squad on you or something. Where’s the part where he tried to fight him off? It’s not easy to f*ck someone against their will. Did he drug them? No, no stop it. Just don’t come in me> Lol Please.
leobaga
Tell me about it. More fake metoo accusations. I feel sorry for James Franco.
Donston
Even if you don’t believe most of what’s come out about Franco at the very least he forced himself on his seventeen year old girlfriend in a public place. He also spent time contacting people and halfway apologizing for his past misdeeds. So, he knows he did many out of line things. I feel somewhat bad for him in the sense that he’s been trying to make amends and what he’s been accused of isn’t bad as what others have done. But let’s not act like he’s been entirely victimized.
Greg
Using that old excuse about not reporting it because they were frightened of whatever consequences sounds stupid when women say it, but it sounds ridiculous when men say it. Both stories sound so made up. As if Topher is some mad rapist. He doesn’t get enough at work, so he has to around raping weak gay guys?
isxios
Are these men so passive that they couldn’t punch him in the face?
This sounds to me like people who did some shit they regret while under the influence, and likely Topher was under the influence too. It’s like accusing someone of rape because the day after you’re sorry you went to the orgy.
jamih
I have a problem with this headline – “two more men have come forward” – when no one really have come forward.
Davidparacka
Oh, man, it’s a long running fantasy of mine to get raped, by a porn star, even better! Multiple porn stars, bring it fellas! Damn living in the middle of nowhere!
ChrisK
#Metoo. Of coarse I’m 6’4 and 230 so it might be more pretend. I’ll play along good though. Stop, stop, stop it. Oh oh oh. Stop, stop, harder, harder, I mean stop.
mhoffman953
Maybe this is all one BIG misunderstanding
Maybe Topher DiMaggio thought the guy was saying, “No! Don’t Stop!” and the guy was saying “No, Don’t! Stop!”
Brian
Free consultation? No! Money down.
ChrisK
Oh and why does Queety keep posting half naked pics of him. Were supposed to be outraged here. Very mixed signals.
CueBunny
Agreed.
ShowMeGuy
Good luck finding a pic of Topher fully dressed.
Donston
ChrisK, I understand your suspicions. But rape isn’t merely forcing entry into someone and the victim continuously fighting them off. In fact, there can be no entry and it’s rape. And many victims get exhausted both physically and mentally and allow the perp to finish their duty. Though in both instances it seems sexual manipulation took place rather than flat-out rape or assault. But that’s still a violation of someone and morally out of line. And with more details it could indeed be worse than that.
I’m still trying to understand why “gay culture” and in particular lgbtq media still regularly hypes and gives publicity to the porn industry. All the headcases, rapists, druggies, self-haters, cons and ex-cons. Never mind that gay porn in particular is pretty much drench in hetero worship, hetero fantasy and internalized homophobia. It’s been time to “evolve” past this.
Greg
“In fact, there can be no entry and it’s rape”. Oh please. Give me a break. More bull is many victims get exhausted and give in.
ElPillo
Is this guy Hercules? The Hulk? Is his voice hypnotic that they are simply physically overwhelmed? No one pushed away insisting. This are funky accusations. I am unconvinced that it’s not more than a vendetta (is DiMaggio an asshole?) or trying to draw attention.
Dymension
Since when is rape not penetration? I think we are getting a little loose with our definitions for political expediency.
Sam6969
Still, sexual abuse (with no penetration) is condemned by law.
Littlest Homo
@ChrisK: Did you really just say “It’s not easy to f*ck someone against their will”? So male rape doesn’t exist then?? Wow …
john.k
No, he didn’t say it doesn’t exist. He just said it’s not easy. Clearly if there is more than one perpetrator it’s possible. If the perpetrator has a knife or gun it’s possible. If one was massively stronger than the other it might be possible. But otherwise one on one it definitely would not be easy.
jschilla
The thing with Zayne was creepy as hell, but may not have crossed the line to rape. This does. I suspect there will be more guys coming forward. I hope his career tanks.
Paco
These people participating in the #MaybeMeTooChallenge are terrified of going to law enforcement, yet have no issue with putting it out on social media? A lot of jurisdictions now have laws to protect the identities of the alleged victims until the cases are concluded.
You belittle real rape victims by not going to law enforcement and not treating your “rape” as a serious crime.
DCguy
Rape crisis councilors have stated for decades that the majority of rape victims don’t report. Not sure why this is such a surprise to you.
Paco
That isn’t the surprise. What surprises me, is this new generation claims to avoid law enforcement out of shame and embarrassment but then spills it all out in the open for the world to see for instant hugs. I guess I am not understanding why law enforcement, the people with the skills and ability to research a crime and punish it, are being kept out of the loop if the “victims” goal is to make the incident public anyway. It seems to me they are more concerned with robbing their alleged attacker due process.
mhoffman953
@DCguy
That is true but these people are reporting it, just not to police. Instead they’re reporting it to their Twitter or Instragram followers.
Imagine if you were robbed or having a medical condition, would you call 911 or would you log into Twitter to tell your followers (making sure to tag people and put those Me Too hashtags)?
To say that people are afraid to go to police and face scrutiny from police is one thing, but these people post “I was raped by…” on Twitter which opens up a whole different door to scrutiny from the public by making it a public matter and not a private matter.
People should come forward to the appropriate parties if they were legitimately raped but it doesn’t mean we are to believe every claim.
MacAdvisor
So, one is a young, strong, male and someone is trying to rape you. Do you resist? As someone who has been raped twice, I know I struggled and significantly. Struggle is not a legal element of rape or sexual assault, but the lack of it raises creditability questions. Do I believe a young man allowed someone to enter from behind and whose response was only to verbally protest? I know I did far more to protest and was very physical.
I, too, don’t understand the fear of reporting the instances at the time. They one is with proof, at least, of penetration and sex, but that is long gone now. I doubt Mr. DiMaggio has any way to retaliate. While he is a very well-known model and porn star, such possessions are not know for their power over others.
Mr. DiMaggion is a neighbor of a friend of mine. He has always been polite, kind, and a very pleasant person. Given what little I know of him, I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt. I just need more objective evidence and less dated recollections.
Trekbike
@MacAdvisor I’m ashamed to hear you, a victim of rape, side with the perp. You know damn well that every rape case is different. So are the circumstances,which we do not know. What we do know is that every single person handles assault differently. Why would any of you on here question a male rape victim for not reporting the crime? You guys are nobody, totally powerless and even you gay men don’t believe these rape victims. So imagine any of them trying to explain the assault to a law enforcement officer. Women are in the same situation and when in most cases it’s not even a homosexual act, and they’re still accused. Why is it that gay men love violent sex. Why is it that gay men just refuse to believe bad things do happen to other gay men?? I’m here to inform some of you assholes that there’s much more to gay love and relationships than sex. Some of you really need serious help.
Greg
@Trekbike Just because he’s a rape survivor, why would he have to automatically side with the alleged victim? Especially when the stories sound made up.
Xzamilloh
Trekbike, PERP? Stop. I cannot with these internet trials by public opinion juries. Take this shit to the police!!!
JaredMacBride
@Trekbike – In the US you are innocent until proven guilty and proof requires more than an uncorroborated posting on social media. In Iran people are executed based on accusations. Perhaps you’d be more comfortable living there.
Trekbike
@KrisK apparently you believe every single gay man should be open to getting raped. In your case maybe you love getting fk’d no matter what the circumstances. BUT, as a survivor of rape, I’m not going to let you make a ridiculous and narcissistic blanket statement that the LGBT community can’t be raped. You are the prime example of the rape problem. When someone try’s to justify the sexual assault of another person, usually is a rapist. You @KrisK need psychological help immediately. Maybe even sex addiction therapy, since you don’t know the difference between consensual sex and rape.
Greg
You’re not going to win over anybody with your attacks. Sorry that you say you were raped, but we didn’t do it. Why are you pissed off at us? If the alleged victims stories were believable, maybe they would have some support.
frankcar1965
Yes male rape exists but why be afraid to tell the police then go on social media and tell everyone in the world? It does not sound right at all and to cry wolf when it is an accusation on the web and not reported to the police makes it suspect. YOU of all people should know that and you should be ashamed of opening your mouth. Sounds like a grudge to me besides.
Trekbike
It’s damn time the gays on here stop condoning sexual violence with every single sexual assault article that appears on here. Why is it so damn difficult to side with the victim? I’m absolutely sure it’s because those of you that accuse the victim makes the rapes you’ve committed okay. RAPE IS NEVER OKAY!! I honestly believe that some of you guys on here could make a career working for Tony Perkins with The FRC. He’s an asshole too.
Greg
This isn’t the #metoo movement. They may get away with making accusations and the accused are automatically guilty, but that’s not how it works. You’re getting hysterical.
Sam6969
It is not easy to be the first one to talk: one just needs to read the reactions about Tegan Zayne’s testimonial to understand what kind of consequences “Dan” is talking about. When you are the first one to talk, it seems you are considered the slut, the liar, the deranged one, etc. What you are saying is minimized and you are personally judged.
Those pionneers show the way and it is easier for other victims to come forward and brush a portrait of the guy in question. So, it requires a lot of courage to be the first to talk in this society.
Of course, Topher must also be able to defend himself. If he really is the victim in this story, he will find the right words.
Nowuvedoneit
This guy was willing to go to a doctor or medical facility to get drugs to not get hiv and be tested but he didn’t go to the police? If even what he said is true.
Sam6969
If you are ashamed or afraid, some people just go to what is essential for them in the present moment: health care. Stop stereotyping reactions in “bad” or “right”.
Paco
Tegan Zayne made himself sound vindictive by going off on an unrelated tangent about how he was ridiculed the follow the day at the porn shoot being told he was acting like a girl and being chastised for not sucking properly.
If I were a porn producer, I would never hire him. I would feel like I would have to stop shooting every 5 minutes to ask him if he was ok or if he was beginning to feel assaulted, because he obviously can’t speak up for himself until way after the fact and all evidence is conveniently gone.
Sam6969
Paco, you are rewriting the story as it was told. The part you are trying to quote is strictly related to his relation to Topher. Stop generalizing to his other professional partners. Plus, it is not because he is a professional bottom, he has to accept to be treated like shit, if it is not in the scenario (and therefore agreed before).
Greg
Topher wouldn’t be the “victim”. He would be the wrongly accused.
Franklin
When I was in the military, if you got raped or assulted you could make two kinds of reports. Ristricted and unrestricted. When you made a restircted report you could get medical attention but didn’t have to pursue legal action. If he chose to get medical attention and not go to the police that means absolutely nothing.
Sam6969
Franklin, I am not sure to understand what you mean. To me, if the soldier does not fill that unrestricted report, it does not mean he has not been raped. And he should not be condemned to shut up for the rest of his life.
frankcar1965
Oh God, “professional partners” “professional bottom”?!!! Let’s not normalize porn. It is what it is and that would be “LEGAL PROSTITUTION”. Not that I think that is all bad, but professional it is not. It’s just on a set and not on the street.
Brian
Tegan got the reactions that he did because he clearly wasn’t raped. Just because you regret letting someone talk you into being fvicked, doesn’t magically change your consensual sex into rape.
Nowuvedoneit
#methirstyforfame movement. So over these it happened to me too but it didn’t do anything till it was ok to accuse others without being held responsible for it.
Caine
Sorry – I don’t believe it. The stories are just too convenient. I also don’t believe the James Franco accusations.
Blakeblake
According to the metoo criteria. I have been raped. However, according to reality, I have never been raped. somehow Metoo means….I did it…but i regretted it later. Oh, and I didn’t leave, or call uber or make any sound or tell anyone….because i was afraid.
ptb2016
I am amazed at the accused guys, both young and gorgeous would need to force themselves on anyone, or am I being naive? And doesn’t a porn star get enough action anyway? I often wonder if they are thinking while in the process « I’m actually getting paid for this »! Of course that doesn’t mean rape videos which should never be made in the firstplace.
rbdboy06
The negative comments here about how they didn’t come forward are not only horrible, but worse adds to the male stigma that we need to man up and deal with it. I am a take sirvivor. Being sexually melosested for years when I was 4-5 by a family member. Even though I didn’t fully comprehend what was being done to me, I knew it was wrong. When I finally had the courage to say something I was belittled by other family members, called a lier and attention seeker. It was not until other family members all males come forward about what he had done to them to that truth was given to me and I could close that chapter of my life. Regardless of age, and sexual assault effects everyone differently. Fear, embarrassment, and shame. Culture also has a lot to do with it. In the LGBT word, we are often regarded as sexually hungry individuals. Tell me if thatvhad happened to you, how can you say anything with out being regarded as, well you gay so you must have liked it. Shame on you, for shaming them for saying something. I truly never wish this upon anyone, nor will deny them truth until all facts have been presented. No means no, and no one has a right to use en exploite ulu for their vicious sexual needs, and then turn the blame on them for having the courage to say something in the first place. Love, peace and justice for all. #LiveStrong
Sam6969
rbdboy06: you said it all. Now, light must make its way through some minds…
frankcar1965
These are adults not children, don’t make it something it’s not.
Paco
If I were to compare these standards of rape to my very similar past sexual encounters, I have been raped more times than I can count and none of those pushy guys (“Just kiss it. It’s good for your hair. C’mon just the head… I won’t go any further…”) were even half as attractive as Topher.
I wonder why I don’t feel victimized. Should I?
Sam6969
Well, it depends mainly on your self-esteem…and the limits you put in a sexual intercourse. Those limits can be very loose for some people, particularly if the person is into dominant/dominated relationships, or even sadomasochism.
The idea is that it is not because you accept those disrespectful sexual behaviors that everyone does.
Also, it is not necessary to feel victimized to report or simply act on the abuser (depending on our possibilities).
Sam6969
Anyway, the main word here is : “free consent”. Clear and simple.
Paco
Well, I will admit that my defenses crumble easily when I am prodded enough by sexually assertive males, but no is supposed to mean no. So much grey and not enough black and white.
He BGB
I’m always wary when the accused insists it was consensual. Reading the article it sure sounds like rape to me, but difficult to prove. Remember folks, rape is violence, not sex. If soneone says no and is pleading, it should stop. Also, rape is about power.
batesmotel
I saw an interview with that Topher person. He struck me as an arrogant douchebag, but that doesn’t mean he raped anybody. Not saying it didn’t happen with these guys, but something seems off. It sounds like they this Topher person greatly overpowered them and the guys didn’t struggle with force and say not interested. And what were they doing at his house. Anyway that doesn’t mean they were or were not raped. The Topher guy I’ve never heard of or care about seemed seedy in this interview. Just gross all around. He’s not hot either. But again doesn’t mean he raped or didn’t rape.
happiness17
It’s funny that you mention that Topher sounds like an arrogant douche bag. I noticed that he has a web site for his fans. In order to go on it a person has to pay $15.99. I believe they must that each month. That’s kind of arrogant. He’s hung up on himself. I think this guy is hot and would love to start with touching his body and take it from there. There’s no where I would pay a cent to go on his website. Hell No!!
happiness17
I never realized how much of a stud Topher is until I saw him getting topped.
This guy is one of the hottest porn stars to hit the screen since Curtis Hutchinson, aka Dean Phoenix. That being said Topher can have any guy he wants. He has a boyfriend who’s also hot. Topher would have an awful
lot to loose if he did indeed sexual assault these three men. Why didn’t even one of these guys go to the police. It makes no sense. If none of this didn’t happen what are the motives of the guys for making such accusations. Money? Having their name in the news? The bottom line is that Topher and these three guys are the only people who know what really happened.
Sam6969
never heard about domination and power addiction in sex? It is not because someone is hot and has a great partner or any hot guy he wants, that he is not a power hungry person.
If I were wrongly accused of something sexual, such as rape, I would be the one to go to the police and sue the accusers. I would also took a lawyer for advice, but I would certainly not let people accuse me of something I did not do.
Sam6969
Admittedly, it is easy for me to say that, as I am neither in one or the other situation. You are right to suggest that as long as there is no legal procedure and a rightful judgement, one cannot know for sure.
Berkleyguy
It makes no sense. I don’t take any accusation of rape lightly. But Topher is not only a porn star but he is also a celebrated underwear model. And he’s smoking hot – he can have any guy he wants. He has no need to rape anyone. And I always think it’s interesting when someone accuses someone of sexual misconduct – then suddenly there are hordes of people that join the bandwagon. There is definitely something wrong with this picture.
PinkoOfTheGange
Why don’t guys report.?
Just look at what is posted here.
Would any of you want to face this?
Paco
Obviously they do report…. to social media. And open themselves up to all kinds of scrutiny rather than taking advantage of rape shield laws that are in place in many jurisdictions for sexual assault victims that go to the proper authorities.
mhoffman953
@PinkOftheGange
Just as Paco said. They do report to social media. Twitter would create more scrutiny, ridicule, and hateful comments than the police investigating the matter. Plus by going to police, the matter can be handled privately. By going to Twitter, you’re airing all of your dirty laundry to the world.
Just as I posted above to someone else, if you were robbed and beaten, suffered from a hate crime, or having a medical crisis, would you call 911 or log into Twitter to send a tweet with hashtags?
No one in the comments is saying to not report. Everyone is advocating for reporting all real crimes to police.
Sam6969
Mhoffman953 : in case, you did not notice, Dan and Bryan did not put their identity to public scrutiny on twitter or somewhere else. They gave their identity only to their interviewer. So, it is not the same as going on Twitter with their real names and expose themselves to raging people (btw, Tegan did that and was very courageous to do that, but he is also a celebrity and not scared to show publicly his sexuality). They explain they were too scared to go further, even with the police. Dan explained he feared the report would spark violence from Topher. Read Dan’s full interview here:
https://hornetapp.com/stories/topher-dimaggio-rape-second/
I know it is easy to judge people from the armchair, but here we are talking about unwanted sodomy by homosexual people. We are not talking about a common robbery or even a hate crime to call 911, that would be easier to report and such crimes are commonly socially supported by people such as colleagues. It is much more intimate and embarrassing to talk openly about sexual assault. You say there are procedures to remain anonymous in legal actions. In the heat of the moment, you do not know if you can trust those procedures (particularly, if you never heard about them). In the US society, public exposure, whether you agree or not, is like breathing. Many people ask themselves twice before trusting those so called “anonymous procedures”.
Mark
I’m sure he is guilty of high pressure sex I read how big his ego is but dumber thman a box of hair…
lwoody75
I am curious if people who believe these allegations if the supposed attacker was not a white popular porn actor? If he looked like Woody Allen or Harvey Weinstein would we be more likely to believe the allegations? Just curious.
gmanto
It does not matter what many have commented here. I don’t care if the ‘victim’ or ‘attractor’ was a ‘pornstar’ or a ‘just a somebody’, gay or str or ?. There is one rule that over rides all others;
NO MEANS NO!
SocialPiranha
I’m not typically a commenter on these website, but I couldn’t sit idly by while y’all have this debate about what is & isn’t rape or how not reporting it somehow negates the event itself. I am a Rape Crisis Advocate (among other related duties) and I am usually the first person a survivor/victim meets after their assault, aside from potentially law enforcement. Would you like to know why these crimes go unreported? Besides the shame, guilt and trauma already inflicted by the incident, even without involving law enforcement, we’re talking about an hour or two of VERY personal questioning from doctors who may or may not be receptive to the idea of your being raped in the first place (how much were you drinking? What were you wearing? Are you sure you said no?), on top of VERY invasive questions about your health and sexual history. Add 4-8 more hours if you involve law enforcement. Then there’s the cotton swabs, black light exam over your freshly assaulted, naked body by strangers and the unmitigated joy of a pelvic exam (or anal for you M2M enthusiasts). Then a trail mix of bitter-tasting pills and a reminder to get yourself an HIV test, you know, just in case. I’m a survivor who never reported before & can’t say with 100% certainty that I would Report should it happen again tomorrow. So for all you naysayers, does any of this seem like an easy decision for a freshly raped person to make? I’m not a bandwagon #metoo vigilante, but I offer you a REALISTIC take on what all of this entails. Stop victim blaming until you have all the facts or, Gods forbid, have to go through it yourself. Step back & out of your narrow-mindedness for just a bloody second. Now I’m done – where should I put my soapbox?
Xzamilloh
Skepticism is not victim blaming, nor is telling potential rape victims to go to the police instead of going on social media, because Twitter ain’t stopping rapes, nor is being quiet stopping the next person from being attacked, I would NEVER wish sexual assault on anyone and would never dare to go to a victim and tell them how they should feel or what they should have done, but we’re talking about hoards of “victims” — and I put quotes on that because nothing has been proven in a court of law — who are instead of taking legal action, are going on Twitter. I was abused as a child by my stepfather and mother… I went to my school counselor, and in a few months me and my siblings were removed from our homes because even at 9 and 13 (me and my sister respectively), we knew to get evidence, which was a video recording of my mom beating me.
For you to put this on here as a means of discouraging victims to go the legal route — and YES, that is what you are doing even if you aren’t trying to — is deplorable. Do you want this crap stopped or do you just want “rapists” shamed for a few months before everyone forgets for the most part?
Xzamilloh
I’m sorry, not a video recording, but the audio, which led to the judge awarding custody to my grandmorther and aunt.
SiamSam
@Xzamilloh Nice to see some saner voices here and sorry to hear what you went through.
Sam6969
SocialPiranha, thanks for sharing with us your professional and personal experience. It is very enlightening.
Xzamilloh, you experienced abuse in your childhood and there is no word that would do justice to describe what you lived. However, stop projecting yourself on other people and on what should be their right reaction. You say you do not judge those people, but you actually do. You were abused on a regular basis and could record what happened. THEY COULD NOT. It is a words against words situation, aggravated by the fact their first reaction was to withdraw and not go to the police. Going on Twitter, as a first move, can be a way for those people to reach for support from other rape victims of the same person. By revealing their story, they suggest that once they have done that, the accused person cannot commit another misdeed, as it will be exposed much easier, now. It is a nuance that some people here have difficulties to grasp. If they have enough proof, then they will go to the police.
Xzamilloh
Yeah, a words against words reaction because they did not go to the police, which is the freaking point of me even disclosing what I did at NINE YEARS OLD when I was being abused by my parents. You’re not gonna guilt me into feeling bad about encouraging victims to go to the police and withstand any potential scrutiny, because if these are actual predators, they aren’t going to stop and they need to be brought to justice. And I’m not about to throw the baby out with the bathwater just to make myself feel morally self-righteous in the moment and take a claim at face value. That’s how bad stuff happens and that’s how innocent people get railroaded. You’d think in a country known for putting innocent people on death row, we’d be advocating for justice system reform, not “listen and believe”
Sam6969
Xzamilloh
Who said one should not go to the police and report a sexual assault? No one, there.
We just say that it is not that simple for everybody (only 16% of raped people go through the legal process) and an ACTUAL professional took the time, above, to talk about that issue. You may not believe him, for some reason, undermining what he is writing, because YOU have a different personal experience, but stop judging others for not acting like you. I am sorry if I make you feel guilty telling you that, but that is not the point.
No one is on the death row (or about to) in this story and we all know there needs to be a legal procedure to go further, whatever would be the issue. However, as it was too late, those guys resorted to make their story public (apparently, for some of the reasons exposed in my previous comment). Is it the truth or not? We do not know for sure.
Someone wrongly accused is entitled to reply and defend oneself appropriately, even using law for himself. If he is in anyway a bit guilty, he will adjust his behavior, just like Franco will probably. If he is a (great) predator, he made other victims before and we will hear about them, since a few people have come forward to publicly talk. It is BETTER than NOTHING. They have done their best in the heat of the moment and now, they do what they can.
Let’s keep things in their right proportions.
Xzamilloh
Oh, no, I DON’T feel guilty, that’s the point, and you telling me not to judge others for their decisions is your attempt at trying to do so, and it’s not working. I will continue to tell victims to go to the police, who I admit aren’t 100% infallible and there are cases where the justice system fails the victims like in the case of Brock Turner and the disgusting judge that gave him such a lenient sentence, but it’s the best system we have for apprehending criminals. And the death row point was in line with the “listen and believe” narrative and how destructive it can end up being, so play dumb on your own time; you knew what I meant. I’m done.
TheBestBJnTn
So now we have the “gay side” of the “me too” movement!! I was growing really weary of the women coming forward with all their accusations, and now it starts with the guys!
This guy Topher must me some sort of superhuman to overpower these guys and take what he wants the way he does…
WHAT A MAN! You would think a guy would be more equipped to fend off unwanted anal sex with ONE other guy…. I mean COME ON! If you really don’t want it stop it, don’t just say Noooo, Put a stop to it…
If there were 5 or 6 big burly prison inmate types holding you down for the pretty boi yeah that’s rape, but one on one I have my doubts, at least without the use of a knock out drug…
Its just good publicity for gopher to be the bad boi of porn on and off the screen, and rekindled the me too bs… To sell more publications, movies to see who and what this Topher guy is and get a look at his secret “its alright” weapon….
And I guess it’ll probably work!
Sam6969
It is called being penetrated by surprise and not knowing how to defend oneself, since it is unexpected, by definition. Plus, you do not know the size of the victims. They may be much smaller than their aggressor. Topher is a muscular guy and this only thing should not spark that much skepticism about what the alleged victims are saying. At least, people should show more consideration for them.
Sure, it is hard to understand for big guys, for whom it never crossed the mind to be overpowered by anybody….(well, until it happens one day). Beware, there is a gap between fantasy and reality…You may fall from high.
JaredNorthcutt30
Exactly. How many times have you been pistolwhipped? I have. You freeze up during the event. Get your head out of your butt.
BrettJ
If you ever want to lose your faith in humanity … read the comment section of Queerty.
I don’t know if Topher is guilty or innocent (I wasn’t there. None of us were) … but the misconceptions about rape on this thread are mind boggling.
It doesn’t matter how hot you are. It doesn’t matter if you do porn or not. It doesn’t matter if you freeze up and are unable to fight back. NO is NO. STOP is STOP. Sex without consent is RAPE.
Consent isn’t that difficult people.
Birdbrain1963
Can’t rape the willing. I’m willing!
Onecaddy13
I have three words for the comments Greg expressed. NO MEANS NO!!!!! Man or woman, your Asinine comments left me wondering if this happened to you, would you immediately report it. Your and idiot without any compassion for the victims.
Chasmatazz
Three alleged victims get ripped apart on social media, and you wonder why people are reluctant to come out.
Xzamilloh
EVERYONE gets ripped apart on social media. That’s precisely why you don’t take shit like this to Facebook or Twitter and go to the police or a rape crisis center or advocate… but you’re not guaranteed or entitled to kindness from the internet.
Sam6969
Agreed with you Chasmatazz, except for the fact that only the famous one (Tegan) put his story on Twitter. Note that he did just as other female celebrities did and THEY were not slandered (or by a very smal minority). Instead, women were mostly supported.
The two other regular, unknown guys, remained anonymous (except for their interviewer) and their stories were posted on famous websites. WE UNDERSTAND WHY! Since, there is a special treatment for gay guys BY some gay guys. It seems they cannot expect that much support their feminine counterparts receive.
Well, I want to tell them that there still is (gay) people that support them and find them courageous.
ShaunNJ
I have been in situations which went beyond what I initially wanted sexually, or were rougher / more painful than I would have preferred. I wouldn’t say I was raped, I had regrets, maybe the other guy did or should have behaved differently. Maybe I should have communicated better, or declined any sex versus somewhat uncomfortable sex.
Everyone’s situation is different because we’re unique, but a common thread should be better communication about what you want or don’t. I’m not saying men and women aren’t being raped, more that there are many levels to sexual encounters. Reading the Aziz Ansari “date rape” story I found myself thinking that date sounds nicer than many dates and perhaps the issue is with the author. No rape is the same – they don’t all involve intense violence struggle; And certainly there are people who don’t heed very clear communication (verbal and physical) that sex is not wanted. I think many of us need to do a better job at understanding our encounters – knowing the rough forcefulness one might enjoy is rape to another.
salumbre
I don’t know. I was both molested as a child and raped as an adult, so I have personal experience of the whole thing, and I can tell you for a fact that raping a man is not that easy, even if the rapist is bigger and stronger. All this “I kept saying no and he came inside of me” BS is just that.
crowebobby
That there is a single male person who has any trouble understanding why any man would be hesitant to tell a cop he had been raped by another man completely boggles my mind.