30-year-old Matt Morton, the self-described “typical alpha-male footballer” player/manager of Thetford Town in UK football, celebrated National Coming Out Day this year by coming out as gay himself.
In an interview with SkySports, Morton reveals that he first began to accept his sexuality in 2018, when, after years of dating women, he felt something connect with another man.
“It felt very surreal to me, but at the same time it felt very natural,” Morton says. “I didn’t have that Disney romance at any point with any of the girls that I dated and therefore everything else around me became more important. All of my time went into football, work and friends, and therefore there was no time left. That was a good excuse for me growing up.”
Slowly, over a period of years, Morton began to come out to the people closest to him. When it came to coming out to his parents, things got difficult.
“It didn’t come from a place of hatred,” Morton says of his folks’ initial horror, “it came from a place of ignorance. I can only imagine that for my dad – for a short period of time – it was like a little part of his world fell apart. We didn’t talk for a few weeks and that was my decision. It was the right thing to do, even though I know that it hurt him a lot. But that might have also played a big part in his willingness to be educated around it.”
“It’s important to say that he’s always been fine with any gay people he’s met,” Morton then adds. “It’s just that when it’s your own son telling you after however many years… I felt that he was disappointed in me. He looked at me in a different way – but that got resolved really quickly.”
Related: Olympian Gus Kenworthy reveals he considered suicide before coming out
The angst Morton had to confront in coming out to his parents also fueled a new fear: how would his teammates react? For Morton though, the worst was already behind him.
“I thought there was a chance of [a homophobic reaction]- I just wasn’t concerned about it any longer,” he explains. “And I’m pleased to say that nobody’s treated me differently. What’s also important I think is not to treat yourself any differently, otherwise people walk on eggshells and you don’t want that either. You want everything to be as it was before and for me, it absolutely is.”
Ultimately, Morton says he came out to help visibility and awareness for LGBTQ people in sports. “The way I’d look at it is, if you’ve got people you care about in your life – such as your brothers and sisters, or other young family – would you want them growing up in the same world you grew up in, or would you want to help make that world better?”
“All I can say,” he adds, “from my experience, is that I wish I’d done it as soon as I knew, because it brings everything forward a year and you always want to get time back, I guess. I wish I’d realized it about myself 10 years earlier than I did, or even longer.”
Better late than never, Matt.
Donston
I’m uncomfortable with guys embracing “gay” identities based on what they don’t feel for women rather than based on what they do feel for their sex. At least he made it more about affections, romanticism and relationship ambition/contentment rather than just about sex. While despite this being 2020, male insecurities and fragile masculinity is still leading to a ton of “You can be ‘queer’ but still be a ‘real man” type of statements. Kinda unfortunate.
Still, good for him for wanting to be honest and wanting to live his life freely. And he is handsome.
Creamsicle
It’s a flag with many colors. I guess we can be happy that he’s happy now and that he’s speaking to a kind of hyper masculine guy that he was? Maybe his message will reach other closeted guys in pro sports.
He’s hot, and this was a pretty personal story to reveal, so good on him for being vulnerable.
Cam
Interesting, you attack people on this site for questioning other people’s labels, and then here you are questioning how he labels himself. Hmmmmm
Donston
Oh, Cam. You stay reaching. I said it makes me uncomfortable to make “gay” more about your lack of hetero feelings than about your same-sex feelings. That’s a perspective I have maintained for years. That’s the type of shit a dude says then experiences a bit of fluidity and is suddenly an “ex gay”. It also makes it sound as if you’re trying to appease hetero-normalcy, coming up with an excuse for why you want to be with a dude. You don’t need an excuse. I’m anti “labels” in general. But he has every right to identify as “gay”.
It feels like lately we’ve been witnessing a bevy of dudes pull the “but I’m a real man” card when they “come out”. If you’ve really done your “queer research”, really want to set an example for others and is truly self-comfortable you’d know better. I’ve given a slight pass to these really young guys, but he’s 30. I can relate. I too was in that boat in my teens and early twenties, but I quickly grew out of that constantly defending my manhood crap. Also, um, you can be fem or overtly “queer” and still be good at sports. Masculinity or being “straight passing” and being good at a sport is not mutually exclusive. While a lot of these “masc” guys aren’t even as masc and “straight passing” as they think they are.
It still feels at the end of the day, male insecurities, fragile masculinity and frayed egos stay winning. If your ambition is to be an “example” for others, to promote honesty, freedom and love then you gotta do better. But as I said, good on him for wanting to be honest and free. And it doesn’t appear that he had an anti-gay phase.
BOB K
BEFORE TRASHING SOMEONE’S COMING OUT STORY, it’s smart to read it again and notice that you read it wrong.
No place does it say that not liking women made him like men. He writes that not getting deeply interested in any woman left a lot of more time for his other pursuits and eventually he noticed he connected with a man. This is not dissimilar to my own story.
Donston
Maybe you need to do the re-reading. No where did I claim not liking women made him like men. I said his wording gives off that impression. It makes it seem like you’re settling for your sex because you’re not enough into women. And it sounds like he’s trying to come up with an excuse for wanting to be with a dude, which is unnecessary. We don’t need excuses for not adhering to hetero-normalcy or for wanting to love who we want to love.
I get that everyone’s dimensions, struggles and journey is different. But when you’re trying to be representation and set an “example” (which he claims he’s trying to be) you need to be more aware of your words and how they will be perceived. I’m not trashing anyone’s coming out story. I’m highlighting some unfortunate patterns that we need to talk about more.
Lugbutton
I get WHAT you are saying, but I am not sure I see how that applies here. How I read his story was that he dated women but it didn’t feel right, so he focused his energies into other things. Then, when he did have an experience with a man, he felt “something connect.”
So I did not interpret this as him claiming a gay identity out of a lack of feeling for women.
I will also say that everyone’s coming out story is their own, and while I might choose personally to approach it differently, I don’t feel I am qualified to judge someone else for how they choose to come out.
barryaksarben
Good for him! We are not here to judge anyone else’s journey. I hope he is happy
scottjamesmiller
Some people are here to judge anything they can. Obviously they can’t afford mirrors.
WashDrySpin
his journey is not marred with hate therefore please enjoy your life
Cam
Congratulations!
Catholicslutbox
Good for him, shame on his father.
“It’s important to say that he’s always been fine with any gay people he’s met,” as long as he wasn’t related to or had to be around them for long periods of time, right? we’ve heard it all before.
Typical “I’m not homophobic, I have gay friends” response.
Also, he came out towards the end of his career, yet thinks it’s okay to encourage others to come out sooner (when it could actually damage their career)?
CBHaynes
After a quick look at his Insta, her didn’t actually need to come out, lol. Please.
Catholicslutbox
He came out in the interview.
I’m also pretty sure that the black guy he’s with is his boyfriend, which is pretty progressive for white gays in England.
curiobi
@Catholicslutbox. No not really. If he lives/works in london, one of the most racially diverse places on earth having a boyfriend of a diffrent colour is not that big a deal. The rest of England however… You can’t confuse London, well, anything within the M25 with the rest of England. As a born and raised Londoner, chalk and cheese. Trust me.
trsxyz
A brave step forward! Good for him.
Prax07
Brave? GTFO with that bull.
vinnieboiblue
He gives credibility to that old adage, “he who protests the loudest, is guilty of the very thing they are protesting.” Basically hypocrisy. But at least he is true to himself now.
SPEEDOSWIMMER
Big freaking deal.
He sounds like a NARCISSIST.
boblrice
Says the person with the user name SPEEDOSWIMMER
Josh447
That’s a great screen name. Why ruin it with wreckless unthought out baseless comments. The ill placed toothless (his displaced message doesn’t resonate here) blow hard in these comments, as has been verified by many, already has that avenue fully covered. In spades. Or are you “uncomfortable” with just about everything that moves in their own free will direction also?
I think you’re easily better than that.
john.k
“important … not to treat yourself any differently”. That, I think is the key. In my experience if you are matter of fact about being gay your straight friends will be too.