do as i say

U.S. Succeeds In Re-Adding Gays To U.N. Slaughter Resolution, Promptly Abstains From Voting For It

The United Nations Generally Assembly completed a vote today to restore sexual orientation (but forget about gender identity!) to a resolution barring extrajudicial executions, a term that refers to senseless slaughter of mankind, as opposed to perfectly reasonable slaughter of mankind. The non-legally binding measure (of which all U.N. resolutions are) was proposed by U.S. Ambassador Susan Rice, with a 93-55-27 vote amending the resolution, and a 122-0-59 passing the resolution. There was the requisite outrage from Arab and African counties, like Zimbabwe, where Ambassador Chitsaka Chipaziwa lamented, “We will not have [the amendment] foisted on us. We cannot accept this, especially if it entails accepting such practices as bestiality, pedophilia and those other practices many societies would find abhorrent in their value systems.” As expected, the United States abstained from voting either way on the resolution, but that didn’t keep Rice from declaring, “Today, the United Nations General Assembly has sent a clear and resounding message that justice and human rights apply to all individuals regardless of their sexual orientation.”