VA High School Boy: I Was Suspended For Wearing High Heels And Being Gay

A gay Virginia high school students says he was suspended for three days because he wore high heels to school, NBC12 reports. The student, 17-year-old Asante Cotman, was told by the principal he was “disrupting” the school with his nontraditional attire.Said Cotman:

“I wore this jacket right here and my white shirt and my scarf and a pair of cargo pants and the heels. I didn’t see how it was bothering anyone. I wasn’t revealing nothing…

“[The principal was] talking to me in a manner, like, belittling me. ‘Oh, you shouldn’t come back here. Oh, we would be glad if you didn’t come back here. Everybody would be happy.’ That comment really got to me. I was almost done… I feel like I was about to kill myself. I was almost done.”

And we thought it was usually the other students who bullied each other—this time it’s the principal of Charles City High School, Stephannie Crutchfield. Cotman think he knows the real reason he got suspended—he’s the only openly gay male student in the school.

“They suspended me for being gay,” he said. “I’m missing a lot of classes. I’m missing classes that I need to graduate.”

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  • tookietookie

    Omg, at first I thought that was a picture of Gary Coleman.

  • Gentleman Smith

    @tookietookie: Guess we all look alike to you.

  • Bob

    Sometimes people go to extremes. Though the principal should not have belittled him or suspended him, he should not have worn high-heels to school. This sort of behavior makes all gays look bad and perpetuates the sterotype that all gay men want to dress like women

  • Kamuriie

    Asante, my sympathies. Don’t let it get you down. There are so many people who will love you for who you are, regardless of what you choose to wear, or what sexuality you have.

  • dan

    I don’t think you get it. Anybody should be able to wear any type of safe
    footwear for the environment they are in.
    If heels are allowed at the school, why can’t a human wear heels?

  • tookietookie

    @Gentleman Smith: Yes, I think every black person in the world looks like Gary Coleman. How astute of you to call me on it.

  • Fitz

    I’m a big believer in uniforms for schools.
    I know it’s not PC, and it’s hard to imagine, but
    there are OTHER things that are supposed to be happening at
    school besides personal expression.

  • Mark Nolan

    He shouldn’t have been wearing high-heels to school in the first place. Granted, the Principal shouldn’t have suspended him, but high-heels are inappropriate for a boy to wear in a school setting.

  • JayKay

    He goes to school dressed in a scarf and heels, then expects nothing will happen?

    His parents shouldn’t have let him walk out the door like that.

  • Isaac C

    Jesus…some people just shouldn’t come out during the day time.

    I agree with the school’s decision.

    @Gentleman Smith: Yes, you do.

  • Steve

    @Mark Nolan: High heels are inappropriate for school in general, I think. Not only can heels be comfortable to walk around in all day, but they’re noisy too. I would be weirded out if anybody wore heels to school.

  • Mark Nolan

    @Steve: I agree, I too would be freaked out and downright irritated by someone coming into school and walking around like someone on a night-out.

  • Oh, ok.

    Grew up in Virginia and lived in that shit hole most of my life. This really isn’t remotely surprising AT ALL.

    I hope Asante pushes through to 18 and MOVES out of that state(not to DC…ugh). NY, PA, NJ, or out here to the West Coast(LA).

    Virginia is no place for a gay teen, let alone a black teen, it messes your head up pretty badly. I’m 28 still working on letting that trauma go. Racism, homophobia, and flat out ignorance run rampant there. Most northern Virginians believe being well dressed and having a nice home puts them above the hicks and rednecks but they’re actually worse and even more hateful. NoVA is a trap, DC is a trap, MD is a shit hole.

    Run, Asante, RUN!

  • tookietookie

    He can’t! He’s wearing high heels.

  • yusiko

    i honestly dont feel sorry for this kid. he shouldnt have worn high heels to school it screams “look at me i want attention”. it seems like a classic victim complex he was basically looking for trouble and got what he wanted.
    i think the principal may have taken the punishment to far this could have been settled by sending him home and making him change footwear. but all in all its better the principal send him home then let bigoted teens beat him in the parking lot.
    so IMO the kid is being a drama queen for attention good or bad.

  • DJ Veno

    Oky, How does him having heels on have to with anyone else?? NOTHING! I don’t see anyone saying shit to those chicks who have a skimpy ass dresses on..

    @Oh, ok.: I’ve stayed in DC and MD, you ain’t telling nothing but the truth man. I hate VA with a burning passion. I’m trying to get the out of this place, I can ever begin to tell you the shit ppl say to me and my twin for being gay..

  • lee

    After reading the comments above; I concluded that most readers of this blog are ignorant or racist. Calling someone an unattractive creature that will spread is black bitterness is beyond belief. Are all responders of this blog such hate mongers? I do not read this blog regularly; yet the readers of this website seem to be a bunch of bitter hateful homosexuals who need to get a life.

  • ed riseman

    this little brat and a lot’s like him need to wake up and smell the coffee and read the article about how gay adults and teens are pulled out of their homes and shot dead in iraq and that’s if there lucky. Getting suspended and be able to whine about it is a whole lot better than a bullet in the head.

    sweethearts take a look at the world beyond the end of your nose – it ain’t pretty and for all the aggro, getting teased or bullied is better luck then getting hunted down and having your balls cut off.

  • DJ Veno

    @lee: I agree with you 100%.

  • Eric Auerbach

    He was about to kill himself because someone told him wearing high heels to school might not be the best idea?

    What an entitled brat. Piggy-backing on our concern with gay teen suicide to make us feel bad about the fact that he has no common sense.

  • tookietookie

    @lee: Wait, lemme dig in my purse here. I’m sure I have some more snacks you can feed the trolls.

  • jason

    The interesting thing about our modern Western society is that we have made it socially acceptable for women to cross-dress but not for men. Look at how women have been allowed to wear trousers and men’s shoes. No-one bats an eye-lid. Put a man in a dress and suddenly everyone – including women – is looking at him in a strange way.

    This simply proves my point that, as a result of liberalism, only women have been allowed certain privileges. Liberalism is about giving women greater social freedom than men. I warned you about this some time ago.

    Women exploit these double standards for selfish reasons. They don’t give a rat’s that they’re allowed certain privileges that men aren’t. Women are highly selfish hypocrites.

  • goddesss

    I admire this young man’s courage. If he is comfortable in heels, let him wear heels. It’s the others who are uncomfortable, the others who have issues. Not him.

    Unless there is a “no heels” policy, this should absolutely not be an issue. Period, end of story.

  • Eric Auerbach

    @jason: Whoa. That was an eerie insight into your psyche.

  • goddesss

    @ed riseman: Really, Ed? You could say this about anyone anywhere! The tornado victim who lost her legs: at least she has a home, unlike those people in third world countries who in cardboard shacks. EVERYTHING is relative. You don’t know how much this kid has been bullied by his classmates, parents, community, church, and best friends. No idea whatsoever.

  • Tyler

    I agree with Bob, the principal could have just told him to change his shoes and not wear high heels to school saying something about dress code rules, and left it at that. The “Woe is me! I was going to off myself since I couldn’t wear my heels!” argument is laughable.

  • Drew

    *Yawn* goddess way to try to “blame” bullying when this kid is just being an attention whore and being a spoiled brat since he couldn’t wear heels. Then again as a gay male friend of mine says, “Bullying has become the new AIDS!”

  • Jake

    No, they didn’t suspend him for being gay. Wanting to wear high heels and feminine clothing has NOTHING to do with being gay. Now, I do think a boy should be free to dress the way he feels, regardless of gender roles. But he needs to be honest if he’s going to openly claim discrimination. He wasn’t targeted because of who he loved or being attracted to the same sex, but for his gender identity.

  • Dr. Dick

    Gawd, things are BAD when I sorta kinda agree with jason; if girls are allowed to wear heels, skirts , etc, then boys should have all those same options. I’m sorry, but being black and gay in VA and having the balls to wear heels is commendable in my (black, queer) opinion. Now, maybe bitching to the press is a bit “1st World Problem”-ish, but honestly, the vitriol people are willing to throw at this young man, lacking the luxury of any real facts/insights, reminds me forcibly of various religious zealots. Presumptuous, much?

  • Riker

    I can’t see why ANYONE would want to wear heals to school, where they have to do plenty of walking. My high school in particular had a lot of staircases, and ended up banning heels higher than 2″ after a girl went tumbling down one of them while wearing some absurd footwear.

    For anyone who says this kid may have been comfortable in heels, you have probably never worn them. NOBODY is comfortable in heels. People wear them because they want to show off their legs, but the foot wasn’t designed for that sort of punishment.

  • Mr. Robertson

    @Dr. Dick: Meh. Kid sounds like a bit of a drama queen. He wanted attention? He got it.

  • MKe

    So.. he was delinquently effeminate?

  • Drew

    LMAO Riker I agree! My highschool was designed oddly and it was all one floor and the one hallway spanned half a mile. No that’s not a typo.

  • Watch

    @jason: You obviously do not understand the implications of shaming and why gender bias is detrimental to us as a people. THIS is not a result of liberalism. This is a result of gender policing, something that liberals are generally less likely to do simply because the concept behind being liberal is being accepting and understanding of change. Teachers and students were put off by his clothing choice because they have been engendered into thinking that men should be manly, because manly is good. The reason why women are permitted to dress like men is because it is basically implied that femininity/femaleness is bad, i.e. “You throw like a girl” or “Don’t be such a pansy”, or that being male is better than being a woman, i.e. “Take it like a man”. Blaming this on women is highly counter-intuitive, as this boy is emulating otherwise feminine attributes. It’s unfortunate as you, like some other men I’ve encountered, have some very troubling gender related anger and are told by conservative pundits that what your feeling (which is probably confusion and fear) is justified because any confusion you experience is because liberals (read: women) are the reason for making things too progressive and therefore causing you anxiety about your own gender.

  • Oh, ok.

    It’s interesting that so many of the commenters have suddenly decided to hate the effeminate when not too long ago there were pro-fem articles with positive comments.

    Can you make up your minds or what? You sound like homophobes yourselves. Men wear a lot more than heels out here in LA and no one calls them attention whores or hurls nonsense at them.

    Seriously so many of you come off batshit crazy it’s ridiculous, contradictions, and irrational “logic” abound.

    Did you call the “Princess Boy” a drama queen? Isn’t that book his mother created in favor of this?

    For all you know this kid could be transgender and is discovering himself and you assholes wish to drive him to suicide with your hateful comments. The only difference between him and other effeminate young men you were once in favor of is his skin is brown and suddenly you’re against it.

    The KKK does not want you. Get it through your thick skulls. Hating on black people at the expense of yourselves will not get you anywhere. You will never join the elite straight white male society so stop trying.

    Typing up 9,001 insults about a 17 year old teenager will not make you feel any better about yourselves. Clearly you’re insecure if you feel the need to tear apart a teenage boy.

  • Eric Auerbach

    @Watch: Liberal arts education strikes again.

  • CBRad

    @Oh, ok.: Actually, homophobic straight white men LOVE blacks. At least the sports fans. Those fools admire football and basketball players over someone like……Sir Francis Bacon, that’s for sure.

  • OMG

    i seen more negative comments coming from this blog than others “straight” sources….
    it such a shame how most of you keep saying that he was wrong for expressing who he is…
    and for all of you who think he is a drama queen for having the balls to wear what make HIM feel good and not fallow the NORM or what others thinks he should wear. i really feel sorry for you cuz you will never be an individual you will always be just a follower

    and you should read well before start bitching about something he never said, he though of killing himself because he wasn’t allowed to wear hills, he said he thought about it wen the principal told him that they will be more happy if he wouldn’t come back to school, I’ll love to see how some of you deal with rejection especially those of you that are follower

  • Eric Auerbach

    @OMG: Did you get expelled from school too? Around 9th grade, I’d say?

  • Aiden

    I don’t see how it’s anybodies business whether he wears heels or not. Girls wouldn’t have any problems if they came to school dressed like boys, so why the double standard?Christ if this site has taught me anything it’s that gays aren’t anymore tolerant than anybody else.

  • oh my

    Should have been expelled, fagget

  • Heh

    “Girls wouldn’t have any problems if they came to school dressed like boys, so why the double standard?”

    Homophobia. It’s based in sexism — the idea that women who are with other women (and thus “act like men” to idiots) are elevating themselves, but men who are with men (or “act like women” to those same idiots) are “lowering themselves to a woman’s level.”

  • redball

    @Isaac C: dumbass

  • redball

    @Mr. Robertson: it’s called self-expression/gender expression. hardly “seeking attention.”

  • drums

    I’m surprised so many people are condemning the teenager rather than the principal. Of course it was a stupid, attention-seeking thing to do. He’s a teenager. They do stupid things and seek attention. That’s not fundamentally wrong. What IS fundamentally wrong is that an adult and a professional educator then denied him access to education, and told him that he’s not wanted at school. Come on.

  • Brian

    @Bob: No idiot, some gay men want to dress like women! Deal with that fact! It is not ok for you to stifle the freedom of expression of some gays because straight people will use how said gays express themselves as a means to stereotype all gays! Grow up and get comfortable in your own skin! People will think whatever they want about you!

  • Brian

    @tookietookie: You’re immature, inappropriate and stupid!

  • Eric Auerbach

    @redball: What a complete load of bullshit.

  • Myles MacLean

    Thank god,if there is one,for all the drag queens and transvestites in our society!It is because of their courage and daring that our society is starting to open up a little.
    Without people like this kid we would still be back in the dark pre-Stonewall days.
    Most of your commentators are obviously Log Cabin Republicans or Go Proud fools who would love to continue seeing the world from under rocks.
    Asante Cotman deserves all the support and assistance is able to give him.Go girl,go!

  • Zythyra

    If girls are permitted to wear high heels and a scarf to school, then why shouldn’t it be OK for a boy to wear the same? I find it rather appalling that people on a gay blog are expressing intolerance at this youth’s gender expression. It’s just as much a part of him as his sexuality.

  • prettygirls

    Why so many negative comments about a child.???
    @tookietookie: We all look like your bald head mama. Tell her to dig in that old beat, up pocketbook and pull out that old, beat up wig.
    @Isaac C: Hey fatty.

  • Eric Auerbach

    @prettygirls: Meh. I don’t care if wants to wear heels or stilts or dayglo rollerblades.

    But he annoyed me (a) when he said he wanted to kill himself … seems like he’s trying to tap into the wave of concern over teen gay suicide to get some sympathy for himself; and (b) when he said he got suspended for being gay. No, Asante, you got suspended for wearing heels. It was wrong of the principal to suspend the kid, but she’d have done so if Asante had just been a straight boy who wanted to wear heels.

    So, sure, he’s on the right when it comes to the suspension. But he melodramatically overstated his case, and that’s why I (and a lot of other people) think he’s a drama queen.

  • LittleKiwi

    here’s something the people seem to be choosing to ignore:

    he’s a seventeen year old, openly gay, black gender-nonconformist in VIRGINIA.

    how many of you were Out in highschool? heck, most of you angrily commenting on here aren’t even Out NOW.

    there’s a reason that stories like this elicit the specific responses they get from the same type of people: you can’t believe that a black teen in Virginia is, even in a pair of heels, more Man than you’ll likely ever be.

    Asante, brother, you have brass balls.

  • prettygirls

    I’m not asking these people to throw this child a sympathy party, but I’ve seen PLENTY of articles on this bullshit site about gays similar to this one and most of the comments were positive, supportig the person(s) in question. How do you know that he didn’t want to commit suicide? Should we only show concern for those LGBT teens YOU feel are genuine about suicide.

  • Eric Auerbach

    @LittleKiwi: Thank God you’re back. The self-righteousness levels on Queerty were becoming dangerously low.

  • Oh, ok.

    @LittleKiwi: I didn’t come out BECAUSE I lived in Virginia, and I agree he has BRASS BALLS!

    Virginia is very conformist state, if you don’t behave exactly like everyone else you are immediately gossiped about, made fun of, and laughed at daily. In school you’re picked on mercilessly, and the teachers side with bullies. In fact I personally was removed from an entire school system for a year because I was bullied and shouted “STOP IT” in class, the teacher sided with them, rather than me when she sat there ignoring them picking on me.

    Asante is amazing and makes me proud. I didn’t feel I could come out in Virginia at all let alone as a teen and this kid is free to be who he is and doesn’t change for anyone.

    The fact that he is doing this on top of the racism that still goes on in Virginia is a whole different ballgame. I mean when I was in high school white teens were being hit over the head with lead pipes, so I hope to God Asante does plan to move out of that state, and somewhere safe. …And not DC like so many Virginians make the mistake of doing(most of us have trouble leaving…well not me because I moved to the opposite coast, I’m one of the few in my tiny graduating class who ever left and didn’t come back).

    As far as the negative comments, they’re just plain racist. I’ve seen many people supporting kids like Asante who were white. It’s downright disgusting to attack a teen this way and I pray he doesn’t read this blog because the comments they’re making are sick. Queerty doesn’t even seem to care to remove them. Yet we’re constantly going on about “It Gets Better” and trying to curb teen suicide…right.

    Asante should move to Atlanta ASAP, he would definitely be welcome there with open arms.

  • LittleKiwi

    @Eric, i don’t remember you. shows what an impact you have.

    and i’m not sure what’s “self-righteous” about pointing out that this young man – a black, gender-nonconformist , openly-gay teen in Virginia – deserves support in finding out who he is.

    again, how many of YOU were fully Out in highschool? however you may feel about his choice to wear those shoes, the reality is that he’s a young openly-gay black teen in Virginia.

    it speaks volumes that none of the people on here criticizing him have the orbs to post links to their own pages. it sure is easy to complain from a place of anonymity, eh?

    stop treating the internet like a burqa.

  • Risoloved

    To me the school is just helping promote ingnorance and hate. There r wose things going on in schools to b suspened for like having sex in school and drugs. Let the child b who they want to b. R they suspending sluts and teen moms?

  • musiq

    Being an adult lesbian and reflecting on my teen years I thinks its sad to deny him his education because he wore heels instead of just asking him not to do it or giving him an alternative. Some of the above comments are sickening to say he’s an attention white because he got dressed in the morning or to say he disruptive is bull!!! This is 2012 not 1940 you see worse sh** on tv so stop it! And to the person talking about homosexuals in Iraq getting pulled out of their home guess what? WE AREN’T IN IRAQ and just because they do it it doesn’t make it right!! The problem is everyone is speaking about what’s right how wrong it is what the bible says etc but nowhere does the bible say killing is right as a matter of fact passing judgement is wrong. This world is self righteous and instead of living OUR OWN LIVES when spend it wrecking someone else. The young man saying he wanted to kill himself wasn’t him piggy backing on teen suicide it might have been his last straw the last stab he could take. SOME OF US JUST WANT TO LIVE OUR LIVES WITHOUT JUDGEMENT OR WORRYING ABOUT BEING KILLED BECAUSE YOU DON’T LIKE HOW WE LIVE OUR LIVES

  • prettygirls

    @Eric Auerbach: So I guess we should only support those LGBT teens who YOU feel are less annoying. I don’t thank it werk like that homeboy.

  • RobertK

    Apparently the principal, Mrs. Stephannie F. Crutchfield, has things very much under control in her school that she can worry about issues like whether a boy is wearing heels.

    Oh wait, this past year was the first year in the past 3 that the school didn’t make AYP.

    Yeah, Stephannie, you’ve got your priorities straight. Clearly its the kids in heels, that’s what’s causing your great job performance.

    Feel free to give her a ring at: (804) 829-9249 or email her at [email protected] to offer recommendations.

  • Eric Auerbach

    @prettygirls: No, honey. *I* should support who *I* want. You can go fuck yourself with a chainsaw for all I care.

  • LittleKiwi

    hey eric, just because this young man has the balls to live openly and you don’t is no reason to get snippy.

    you could always provide the URL to your own youtube channel and show us all what a great example you’re living by.

  • Eric Auerbach

    @LittleKiwi: Now you’re going out of your way to attack me? Guess I did make an impact after all :-p

  • LittleKiwi

    i posted a comment. you mentioned me. you remembered me. i didn’t remember you. you continue to post snarky nonsense from a place of anonymity.

    so, what’s the deal? gonna whine like a baby or prove me wrong? after all, if you REALLY want me to eat crow you could provide the link to your own page. or you can do what your kind usually does, and keep hiding.

    you could learn a lot from Asante about being a real man.

  • Eric Auerbach

    @LittleKiwi: Whoa. I *really* got you worked up.

    Don’t take this stuff so seriously, honey. It’s just the internet :-p

  • LittleKiwi

    nah, it’s just too easy. your kind sure loves to dish it out from a place of anonymity. keep hiding. maybe one day your balls will drop. but truly, you could learn a lot from Asante about being a real man. you want the attention until you get called to show yourselves, then you slink away.

  • ed riseman

    @goddesss: @goddesss:
    hun, I would agree with you totally that everything is relative and there is always some one who has a worse deal than me. It’s called “count your blessings” I’m sorry if this feel’sl bad because he could not wear want he wanted to school, it’s tough. But you know what? it ain’t as tough as losing your legs in a tornado or getting a bullet in the head from your own brother. It’s called growing up.

  • Eric Auerbach

    @LittleKiwi: Meh. What strikes me as truly easy is being out and open in liberal, progressive New Zealand, like you. Try doing it, like I do everyday, in a Third World country where “gay rights” exist in the public discourse only as a punchline.

    Also: Links? YouTube? You think a gay man is only out if he has a blog? You’re ridiculous.

  • LittleKiwi

    i’ve never even been to New Zealand. LittleKiwi is a literary reference, not a geographic one.

    what third world country are you in? you’ll be happy to know that i, along with maby others, are pushing for greater LGBT Protections on a global level. you’re welcome.

    now, how about being a black openly gay youth in conservative virginia? that’s pretty inspiring, eh?

    i’m just asking you to back up your assertions – it’s very easy to be a snarky critic from a place of anonymity, honeybun

    you were so brave before i called your bluff :D

  • Eric Auerbach

    @LittleKiwi: My fault for giving it a try. You’re a child.

  • LittleKiwi

    giving what a try? it was an easy mistake, but I’m not from New Zealand nor have I ever visited it.

    now, this story here on Queerty was about an openly-gay black teen in conservative Virginia. isn’t that inspiring, and indeed brave of him?

    so, which third world country are you in?

  • Oh, ok.

    Yet when someone says “fag” you dare to throw a hissy fit and lobby to have them fired from their job.

    Which is it?

    Gay rights, trans rights, and gender equality only apply if you’re white? The audacity some of you have to air your racism and refuse to support lgbt people of color is downright hypocritical and inane. Then you have the nerve to turn around and lambast all black people as being homophobic and hypocritical.

    Really trying to have your cake and eat it too will only bite you in the ass. The comments on this article sound just like the homophobes you’re always whining about.

  • LittleKiwi

    @Oh, ok – what you’re seeing is a collection of insecure closeted white boys who are angry that a black teenager, in HEELS no less, is more man than they will likely ever be.

    that none of the angry commenters can show themselves only proves me right.

    this site has an unfortunate tendency to attract insecure trollish homosexuals who never got over the fact that their fathers resented having to call them “son”

  • Oh, ok.

    @LittleKiwi: That sounds about right, especially the insecure part. The other day someone posted “Have you ever seen a black top?” and I really had to wonder how moronic a person has to be to type something like that up and actually submit it for others to read without feeling like an ignorant sack.

  • CBRad

    I don’t care if the kid wears high heels (though I can see this falls into the category of that whole debate about what kids have a right to wear/not wear in public schools : gang colors, goth makeup, piercings, throwing stars…). But this kid is lucky he’s where he is! He wouldn’t last long at a school in Crown Heights, Brooklyn.

  • LittleKiwi

    @Oh, ok.: i think they like sounding like ignorant sacks. ignorance loves company. some people love nothing more than hearing the lies they tell themselves repeated and regurgitated by others. we call them “Fox News Viewers”

    i’d love to see if this young man ends up being allowed to wear, perhaps, “sensible” heels to school ;-) you know, a more demure and sensible pump for the hallways.

    i’ll say this, it takes brass-freakin’-balls to be an openly gay, and black, gender-nonconformist in virginia. i wonder how the closeted trans students who are at this school are taking the school’s message… it’s unfortunate.

    and hey, it wasn’t that long ago (in the grand scheme of things…) that horrible females dared to challenge convention by wearing *GASP!* trousers instead of skirts!!

  • Oh, ok.

    @CBRad: No he’s really not lucky at all. A kid in a grade above me in high school got hit over the head with a lead pipe for wearing heels and a skirt to school, and he was white…they’d do and say worse to a black kid.

    Virginia is full of racism and homophobia so it’s not better at all. Asante has HUGE balls for having the courage to be himself, especially in a state like Virginia where everyone is afraid to go against the grain down to even the car they drive(seriously they all drive the same cars and when it goes out of “style” they get the next new thing).

    Virginia is full of sheepish backwoods idiots who can’t think for themselves and gossip about anyone who dares to go against the grain.

    Every guy and I do mean every guy I was ever with in Virgina was closeted and I remained closeted the entire time I lived there until I packed my bags and left for good at 24. The guy I consider the love of my life is still to this day closeted and hiding from himself because of what Virginia does to gay youth…at 27 years old.

    So no it isn’t easy to be a young gay teen in Virginia. Quite the opposite.

  • CBRad

    @Oh, ok.: Of course that’s bad ! Your version of the area sounds awful. But it would be much worse for this kid in black neighborhoods of Atlanta or Newark, NJ. He probabbly wouldn’t even live long.

  • Oh, ok.

    @LittleKiwi: Believe me I know all about backwoods Virginia, I suffered there most of my life. Really did a number on me till I left(which is something most Virginians don’t do).

    Virginians hate change and kids like Asante who dare to be themselves scare them the most. I just hope he leaves as soon as possible because some of them can be really dangerous and do get physically violent when they feel you’re weaker.

    I had to fight all through school and they didn’t even know I was gay. The only thing that stopped the fighting for me was my growth spurt and naturally large build.

    Hopefully he’ll be going off to college next year and things will get a lot better for him. Virgina can really screw up gay kids developmentally if they don’t leave.

  • Oh, ok.

    @CBRad: I don’t know anything about New Jersey other than they’re crazy people…at least that’s what I gathered from their driving.

    I don’t know what you mean about the black neighborhoods of Atlanta considering it has a GIGANTIC black gay population and everyone there is very open and accepting of gay people and men who prefer to wear women’s clothing as well. I lived there for two years myself and no one was ever nasty or homophobic to me especially black people.

    This whole “black people are all homophobic” nonsense needs to die. Atlanta is one of the best places for a gay black male to live. Hell I rarely even encountered racism in Atlanta let alone homophobia.

  • Damon

    The only insecure closeted white boy with Daddy issues here is LittleKiwi.

    Oh OK, WTF are you talking about? I’m from Virginia and I’m gay and I came out as a teenager and I was not bullied and nobody cared. I still live in VA and plenty of LGBT People here are out and not closeted. Stop being a professional victim and stop projecting your own issues with how you were closeted onto others.

  • LittleKiwi

    I lived in Brooklyn for two years. I dunno, while some school districts are undoubtedly still homophobic and transphobic, the proximity to manhattan and the thriving gay and queer communities make it a pretty darn good place to grow up gay, and non-white. I’ve shared a smile with many a young queen on the subway (and i say that in the best and most complimentary way possible). i dare say i’ve encountered fantastic progressive black communities in various NYC boroughs, and hey, if your neighbourhood blows another better one is a train ride away.

  • CBRad

    @Oh, ok.: I don’t think all black people are homophobic, just a higher percentage. Look at Atlanta gay bashings. Look at NYC gay bashings. Look at Texas gay bashings. Look at who the bashers are. And I also know the Harvey Milk school in NYC was created for obviously-gay minority kids who just couldn’t continue in Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens schools because they were actually in danger. This kid, absolutely, would be in real physical danger in “hood” neighborhoods. But none of what I believe is meant to negate any of your bad experiences with white conformist hick types.

  • LittleKiwi

    what was that, Damon?

    *me and my dad*

    you can click on my name to see how non-closeted i am :D

    i’d love for you to share your youtube videos you’ve made where you show us all what a strong empowered Out gay man with a supportive community from Virginia you have. no better way to represent what you’re saying by proving it.

  • CBRad

    @LittleKiwi: That’s okay, but….you lived in “outsider” transplant-to-NYC. You don’t know it unless you actually grow up here.

  • LittleKiwi

    undoubtedly, but there’s a strong gay and queer presence in NYC and the surrounding boroughs. absolutely, some sectional neighbourhoods aren’t as evolved, but i worked with enough young queer kids to know that they’re (finally) growing up with empowering role models and images all around them.

    remember the MTA’s “I Love My Boo” campaign? it was wonderful.

  • CBRad

    @LittleKiwi: That campaign : anything that makes it better for gay kids in rougher black neighborhoods is good. (Or even for sensitive straight black teens who aren’t into being so “hard-assed” all the time). But it’s still far from being as easy as in white middle-class/upper-middle-class neighborhoods.

  • LittleKiwi

    oh, on THAT note i do not disagree. but i look at this story, about Asante, and here we have not just a gay kid, but a gay BLACK kid, a gay black gender-nonconformist. in VIRGINIA. triple-threat, eh?

    that’s sorta what i’ve been taking away from this story – if this kid can live with this kind of courage, we should all be so inspired.

  • Damon

    What about my dad? We get along fine and he’s known I’m gay for decades and has no issues with it at all and he’s not homophobic at all. Quit projecting your own issues onto everyone else.

  • LittleKiwi

    that’s my dad and i. click it :D that’s what i’m saying, you can click my name and see who i am and what i’m talking about.

    now, id LOVE for you to share a youtube video of you and your family and your great work promoting LGBT Equality in Virginia. It would no doubt be inspiring to many! please share the URL with us :D

  • CBRad

    @LittleKiwi: Well….maybe. Trouble is, I don’t know the kid. Some people just do things as a need to get attention to themselves. Or he might actually have a genuine inner need to wear high heels. I don’t know where he’s coming from. Isn’t the ACLU supposed to take up these cases? Because I really do think this falls into the category of wearing “Jesus” t-shirts and every other “controversial” article of clothing case.

  • LittleKiwi

    i’d really love to see your video, Damon. after all, you came out decades ago in virginia. it’d be wonderful for you to show what a strong empowered example of a life you lead and it would be even better if you could have your dad in the video with you. it would no doubt help other families :D

  • LittleKiwi

    controversial clothing articles like pants on women? ;-)

    france combated the issue of “religious iconography” in schools by banning them ALL – no religious iconography – you’re in school, you’re neutralized. i’m in favor of school uniforms, too. equalizers. heck, i was a teen in the 90s. i went to school in an unending GAP commercial. ugh.

    but i’m also savvy to excuses being given as opposed to reasons. if this school has a history of suspending FEMALE students for the specific heels worn, i’d give them no grief. as is, it sounds more like a case of punishing the gender-nonconformist rather than educating those who choose to baselessly “take issue” with it.

    you know, like the “marriage is about procreation!” people who dont’ mind infertile heterosexuals or post-menopausal women marrying.

    consistency of argument. i’m not *yet* convinced this school’s actions were a simple case of “it was the Wrong Kind of heels he was wearing.”

    i mean, heck, we just saw Utah this week passing legislation forbidding mentions of homosexuality and contraception in schools in favor of abstinence-only (mis)-education. nuts, eh?

  • Martin

    Kiwi why are you assuming that all GLBT people even want to or somehow should make a video and put it on youtube? A lot of people have blogs, are on sites that list them as being LGBT, and talk to people in person about how they are an LGBT person yet they don’t want to make a video or don’t see the point in making a video since they’re out in other ways.

  • Damon

    Martin, because according to Kiwi unless you make an “It gets better” video with yourself and with your father then you’re completely closeted and not out at all.

  • Caleb

    It’s all very simple: If the school has a dress code and it is equally enforced, it did nothing wrong. If the dress code is unequally enforced, then there’s a problem.

  • Caleb

    There is one other thing that bears mentioning, which a lot of people hint at. Where is this young man’s sense of responsibility for his own actions? With every freedom and privilege in our society, there is also the flip side of responsibility for one’s own actions. Is it your First Amendment right to use the n word? Absolutely. Do you have any right to be free from having your ass beat for using it? Absolutely not. Goddess bless the radical queers, dykes, and gender non-conformists who certainly lead the way in advancing gay rights; however, in the big scheme of things, to bitch about being suspended for wearing high heels to high school certainly does not rank up there with the right to marry, the right to serve your country openly as an LGBT person, etc. I have to agree with the prior poster that, in light of the fact that he wears high heel and has a pocketbook, he was being disingenuous about his mental state. Instead of bitching about being suspended and whining about it, accept your own fair share of responsibility in the matter, go get an attorney to investigate the situation, and do something about it.

  • LittleKiwi

    Not at all, Damon and Martin. :D

    by damon’s attempt at logic everyone else should have had 100% accepting parents, because I did. I came out when i was in highschool, told them i had a boyfriend, mum and dad said “that’s wonderful, can we meet him?” and they did, and he sat with them at my high school graduation. if one would follow Damon’s logic, everyone else must have had the exact same experience since that’s the experience that *I* had.

    anyone with a brain, however, knows that my experience was the exception, not the rule.

    it’s very simple: people love to complain from a place of online anonymity and then just flatly LIE about things because their True Reality aint what they claim it to be.

    I call Damon’s bluff. I don’t buy it. At all. And if what he’s saying *is* true then he could really be helping people, especially in Virginia, by leading a Visible life. make a youtube video with your dad, Damon, since he has totally accepted you ever since you came out in high school “decades ago”

    how old are you damon?

    and, as anyone who frequents LGBT sites knows, there are tonnes of miserable lying trolls who post bogus nonsense from a place of cowardly online anonymity. when you ask them to back up what the say with proof, you get the same old tired responses about how they “don’t have to prove anything, blah blah blah”


    i live an open and authentic life, and i’m calling your bluff Damon.

    damon claims he’s been out for decades and never once experienced any form of anti-gay prejudice or discrimination. it’d be great, then, if he could lend his face and voice as an example of our community. but he won’t. because his story is false.

  • LittleKiwi

    Caleb, would you say the same thing about the women decades ago who were indeed punished by society for choosing slacks over skirts, and refused to wear pearls and gloves?

    sometimes people have to shatter bogus rules to show how bogus and baseless they are.

  • LittleKiwi

    oh, and no. i’m not saying all LGBT people need to have blogs or youtube videos – just pointing out the reality that the same type of people come onto sites like this to make the same type of comments – those who are NOT living Out and authentic lives who are bloody furious that others are.

    people who “hate” the it gets better campaign, yet won’t make their own video and share their own messages. those who blame a young black gay kid for wearing heels, yet they themselves don’t have the balls to be Out in their own lives. it’s the same old thing. people tend to get very angry at people who are able to Live Out in a way that they themselves cannot
    and hey, you could always prove me wrong by showing your own video or webpage. but people won’t.

    online miseryguts’ tend to prefer anonymous venting. *sigh*

  • Caleb

    @LittleKiwi: I understand your point, but I’m not sure the same line of reasoning applies here. Go over to the Huffington Post and look this story up. It actually shows the heels in question, which are stilettos of about 6 inches in height. I can see the school being rightfully concerned that he may fall down stairs in a crowded hallway in between classes. In his case, it can be a safety issue. Women wearing pants, etc., do not have the same concerns.

  • JayKay


    “Is it your First Amendment right to use the n word? Absolutely. Do you have any right to be free from having your ass beat for using it? Absolutely not.”

    But that’s wrong, you dumbass.

    Despite the left’s constant attempts to put a stop to it, the United States still has freedom of speech and it’s perfectly legal to use any slur you want. However, assaulting someone for using words you don’t like remains quite illegal.

    Liberals, honestly…

  • Oh, ok.

    @Damon: Oh please, if I had said I came from Nebraska you’d be saying that too.

    I know you’re lying right off the bat so I’m not even going to go there with you. Came out in high school in Virginia with no problems, yeah right…

    If you’re going to lie try knowing a little about the subject matter rather than coming off like a professional moron who will say anything just to disagree with people.

  • Mike

    Kiwi, people come out when they want to and when the time is right for them, and they don’t come out when you say they should or when any other LGBT political agenda says they should. I’ve been out since a very young age but some of my best friends grew up in the same liberal area I did and they’re still closeted and they’re in their late 20s and early 30s. I have older friends who came out as LGBT when they were in their 50s or 60s and that’s when it was best for them.

  • Caleb

    @JayKay: Well, before you call someone a “dumbass,” you should really do your research. Of course, that would be counterintuitive to conservatives since that would cause them to have to THINK and REASON in the first place and not simply shout and call people names. That said —

    The First Amendment is not an absolute. Classic example: Shouting “Fire!” in a crowded movie theater solely to cause a stampede in which people are injured. NOT protected speech under the 1st Amendment. Similarly, there is a 1st Amendment exception under the “Fighting Words Doctrine,” which are also not protected under the 1st Amendment.

    Nevertheless, you totally missed my point, which at its core is the epitome of conservative thought — the disconnect between freedom and responsibility. Yes, you can use any slur you want, but you have no right to expect that your hate speech will protect you against an angry response. If you use a racial slur, then you must accept responsibility for the possibility of a violent response.

    Do you understand me know, fucktard?

  • Oh, ok.

    @CBRad: Where on Earth are you getting a “higher percentage” of blacks being homophobic from?

    Pulling things out of your ass do not facts make. Repeating this nonsense online does not make it true.

    You’re literally saying something you can never prove and hailing it as fact. You cannot prove it therefore it is not now nor will it ever be true.

    What is true is homophobia is wrong and needs to be stopped PEACEFULLY everywhere no matter who is doing it, just like racism, just like prejudice, and just like gender inequality.

    Clinging to the idea that more black people are homophobic is racism at it’s core. Deny it till you’re blue in the face, but the only reason to cling to that idea is to scapegoat black people and deny white people are doing it. It’s easy to then excuse and even defend white homophobes by saying “Well black AMERICANS are doing it on a larger scale.” which is not only mathematically impossible, but also has no bearing on our rights as citizens.

    Lets say all black Americans(myself included somehow even though I’m gay) were homophobic. If we all voted against gay rights we’d still never be able to tip the scale in our favor because whites, Asians, and Hispanics outnumber our vote by a HUGE margin.

    So seriously once again black people are used as a scapegoat and whipping boy but in this case it makes absolutely no sense at all because it’s coming from white gay men who are claiming they want their equal rights but are fighting against themselves by defending white homophobes who have the power to tip the scales of these votes in our favor.

    Now you can be like everyone else I’ve said this to before and claim I’m wrong, but deep down you know it’s true.

    And all of that is ignoring the fact that there are a great deal of black allies and black gay people who aren’t homophobic at all. I mean I love having people who don’t even know any black people telling me that my friends and family members are homophobic.

    I’d also love to know how this huge majority of black homophobic people are affecting white gay men specifically since they are the ones whining about it on a massive scale while black gay men and women very rarely utter a similar viewpoint.

    Shouldn’t we be the ones upset since we’d be the ones dealing with it? Where are all these black gay homophobes beating down our doors and lobbying against gay rights? I’d love to see them with my own two eyes.

  • Oh, ok.

    I’d also like to add that in America there’s only one group of people who have a history of physical violence, hatred, murder, public displays, and creating hateful laws…and it’s not black people.

    So again the scapegoating and passing it off on black people is really just going to bite you in the ass.

    Black people didn’t win the fight for civil rights by picking Hispanics as the new whipping boy. Read a book or something.

    I honestly don’t get what any of the people who say the majority of black people are homophobic hope to achieve, it’s like you’re incapable of logic and reasoning.

  • Jeff

    Kiwi how would you know that? You’re not these people who you are quick to judge as being closeted liars.

    Based on how you seem to like to attack people and stoop to ad-hominem attacks and claiming that they’re completely closeted or are lying when they’re writing about their own life experiences why should anyone show you their personal site, link to a dating or sex site that shows them as being out, or any site that tells you anything personal about them at all?

    It doesn’t make you a bad LGBT person or a closet queen just because you don’t like the it gets better campaign and find fault with it or don’t like Dan Savage, or because you don’t care about some highschool kid who is a drama queen who throws a temper tantrum when he gets told he can’t wear high heels to school when there are way more important issues for LGBT people to be focusing on than these.

    FYI-Before you call me a closet queen or assume that I am and am lying, I’m completely out and have been for a long time. I do have a blog but I’m not going to link you to it since that would be inviting more spam and ad-hominem attacks from you as well as from other trolls on this site like jason.

  • LittleKiwi

    i didnt’ say when they should come out. i’m just pointing out, boys, that your lies are obvious.
    you learn to pick up on Things Trolls Say – you’re all the same.

    and Jeff, i call your bluff. click my name, find my blog.

    or here, my youtube channel::

    you can give any excuse you want to. i won’t apologize for having bigger balls than you.

  • LittleKiwi

    trolls do the same thing – long winded excuses so that they can continue lying. Damon’s story is, of course, complete and utter tripe.

    he made it all up. it’s obvious to anyone who’s lived Out in the real world.

  • Oh, ok.

    @Jeff: No, silly, attacking a black gay teen because you don’t like that fact that he’s black and dares to be gay(like you) makes you a racist.

    I mean it’s quite obvious why you feel so offended by him. No one here has ever attacked effeminate white gay teens, in fact many articles here were pro-fem, and there was even a Youtuber who made a few pro-fem videos in which most agreed that no one should be attacking them.

    Now suddenly a black effeminate gay teen is written about and people call him a drama queen and other nasty insults. A gay kid…being attacked by fully grown white gay men.

    Hmm, lets see…what could that be about. Oh yeah, racism. Deny it all day long, it’s too blatantly obvious.

    It’s pathetic that you think it’s ok to be not only be racist but assault a gay teen for being himself yet turn around and think you should be treated as an equal by your white peers.

    The KKK does not want you, and they won’t want you just because you said to deny gay people of color. In fact homophobes are probably laughing at you for not only being a hypocrite, but reversing the rights and freedoms we do have by being against gay teens of color expressing themselves in the way white gay teens do.

    I’ve never ever seen anyone do anything but support white gay teens who do exactly what Asante has done. So yes, this is racism. Feel free to deny it. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

  • LittleKiwi

    seriously, Jeff. i call your bluff :D

    and click my name for my other blog


  • Jeff

    Thanks for proving my point Kiwi. As for Damon I’m not him and I’m not from the state of Virginia so for all I know he could be telling the truth. Just because we’re LGBT doesn’t mean we’re all professional victims like you.

  • LittleKiwi

    i’m not a professional victim. I’m Out, and i don’t hide. unlike you :-)

    you didnt’ prove any point other than mine. i called your bluff, you couldn’t hold your own.

    *elegant curtsy*

    i’m not scared. you are. that makes you the victim. all your life :D

  • LittleKiwi

    “i am out i just don’t need to prove it to anyone” is the online gay-website version of “im against gay marriage, but i’m not homophobic! i totally have gay friends!”

    Mary, please.


  • Marie

    ignore Kiwi, she’s a troll and thinks that her shit doesn’t stink, and that nobody that’s LGBT that posts on this site is out or as out as much as she is.

  • LittleKiwi

    referring to me by female pronouns doesn’t bother me either. it has nothing to do with who’s As Out as anyone else – merely the reality that the Closeted Cowards on this site, and others, always say the exact same things and they always say it from the same place of Cowardly Anonymity.

    trolls? the trolls are the people on here who have multiple aliases which they use to engage in preposterous cyclical conversations. me? i’m calling out the B.S. and i do so from a place where i’m not hiding.
    it’s not my fault none of you have the balls to do the same.

    you all do the same thing – excuses excuses excuses, all from the same place of cowardice. wanna prove me wrong? show yourselves. :D

  • CBRad

    @Oh, ok.: Sorry, but I believe a higher percentage of African-Americans are homophobic. I didn’t choose for it to be that way, but…I’m not going to pretend otherwise. Look at the culprits in gaybashings, what a large percentage are black (yet A.A.s make up just 15 percent of the population overall). Every political poll (the differences between white democrats versus black democrats polled on gay marriage). But I don’t know why anybody would say that means I don’t think there are some homophobic white people and some homo-friendly black people.

  • CBRad

    @Oh, ok.: You..maybe…should look up murder statistics in the U.S., as well as African-American murder statistics since the 1960’s.

  • Dan

    CBrad is correct, A LOT of black people are very homophobic and biphobic. It’s not nearly as bad as it was 20, 30, or even 40 years ago but coming out as gay or bisexual when you’re black in certain areas is not always something that other black people are going to like or accept. I know black men who came out as bisexual or gay and they were completely disowned by their friends, families, and peers. It’s not like this with every single black person who’s LGBT but like I said it’s a lot better than it was decades ago.

  • LittleKiwi

    “black people” aren’t the reason that some of you were, and still are, Closeted.

    you can blame Christianity and Social Conservatism for that

    that said, now that a bunch of you think that the black community is more homophobic than the white community, does that not make Asante here even more of a brave young man?

    yeah. exactly.

  • CBRad

    @Dan: Virtually every black person I’ve brought that up to agrees with me (some black folk out there might disagree…which is fine), but the ones I’ve found who are most in denial of that are liberal and/or politically-correct white people. Which is understandable (I can see why they’re disappointed) but I’ve always been insulted that I’m expected to pretend along with them. AND, they get vicious, often, if you won’t pretend along.

  • CBRad

    @LittleKiwi: Brave. Uhhh….maybe…yes….But not as brave as he’d be if he was in a black neighborhood doing that.

  • LittleKiwi

    oh, right. because him being openly gay and black in a white conservative neighbourhood isn’t that tough eh?


    btw, have you got your own youtube page or webpage or blog?

  • CBRad

    @LittleKiwi: No, it’s not as tough. He might be humiliated, and rejected, but he’s not going to get beaten and killed. Then again, he probably has his own circle of artsy friends at school. I do think he should be able to dress how he wants in school (as long as the heels rule isn’t for safety-on-the-stairs reasons), and I’m on his side if he’s for real, but I keep thinking of that other teen on YouTube (forget his name) who turned out to be a phoney. (No, no blog for me).

  • LittleKiwi

    are you black?

    got a webpage? no youtube profile?

  • Greg

    Kiwi while we’re at it let’s also “blame” being Islamic-as we all know how they feel about being LGB, surprisingly they’re OK with T people-and Jews as well since many Jews especially Orthodox as well as so called ‘liberal’ Jews are VERY homophobic and do not like LGBT people at all. We’ve also all came across so called ‘liberals’ who claim that they’re for LGBT rights yet in reality they’re against LGBT people and use slurs against us when they think we’re not around.

  • LittleKiwi

    as much as people want to be saying “most black people are homophobic” i have no qualms in pointing out that most gay men are complete freakin’ racists.

  • CBRad

    @LittleKiwi: No, I’m white. Cuban, of Spanish-descent. And Anglican.

  • LittleKiwi

    statistics show that the Jewish communities, more than any other demographic, voted against Prop 8 in the highest numbers.

    you seem awfully defensive, sugar. did i offend a white gay conservative? ;-)

  • LittleKiwi

    well, i’m very puzzled as to why you think you know so-well how a young gay black kid in white virginia will be treated, CB. it’s very odd.

  • CBRad

    @Greg: Jews are quite gay-friendly, overall. Even Orthodox. (Just not the Haredi or Hasidim, but they’re all inbred loons anyway).

  • CBRad

    @LittleKiwi: It’s not that odd. Who does all the physical gaybashings ? How often do they happen in white communities? I’m not worried for him.

  • LittleKiwi

    i’ve encountered so much inclusive friendliness from Jewish communities… truly.
    and like i said, Prop 8? the jewish community voted against it more than any other demographic.

  • Lon

    As I’m reading these comments, I can immediately see that you’re one sick prejudiced nutjob.
    Just… shut up and go away.

  • LittleKiwi

    greg just sounds like one more gay white conservative christian who can’t stand the idea that non-white, non-christian, liberal folks are out there being better to LGBT people than his own right wing, jeebus-blowing white family.

    although i could be wrong. i’d love to be wrong. prove me wrong :D got a youtube video to share, greggy?

  • CBRad

    @CBRad: P.S. If I ever see video of this kid getting beaten up by two white girls in McDonald’s (like those two beating the trans at the Baltimore McD.) I’ll apologize to him.

  • Max

    This kid is nothing but a drama queen and professional victim who wants to claim that he’s somehow been bullied and persecuted because of his sexuality. If he didn’t play the ‘they hate me because I’m gay!” card that all effeminates play, he would have played the race card. I agree with other people who are saying how there are way more important issues of importance for LGBT people as a whole to be worrying about than some gayling drag queen throwing a hissy fit since he can’t wear high heels to school.

  • Greg

    I’m not white. I’m Latino. I don’t make youtube videos. Lon you’re the only sick and prejudiced nutjob here.

  • LittleKiwi

    Max, it’s not Asante’s fault that your own father wishes he didn’t have to call you his Son.

    truly. you hating “femmes” will not change the fact that your father doesn’t want a gay son. You could learn a lot from Asante. Unlike you, he’s no coward.

    you can call him every name you like – it will not make your own life better, it will not harm him, and it won’t make your dad any less ashamed of you.

    wimps like you, Max, are all the same. keep on hating “femmes” – Asante’s the real man, he’s not afraid of bigots, unlike you.

  • JayKay

    ITT: A giant attention whore militantly defends an attention whore in training.

    Move along people, there’s nothing to see here.

  • Oh, ok.

    Wow reading these comments I can see very clearly that it’s not just trolls, a lot of people commenting are literally crazy. I’m out.

    There’s no reason debating with crazy shut-ins who have no bearing on the real world. Have fun “living” online, ladies.

  • Max

    My dad’s fine with my sexuality and loves me for who I am. You’re the only person here with “Daddy Issues” since you bring it up as an ad-hominem attack towards anyone who doesn’t agree with your opinions or with this stupid kid who is being a drama queen.

  • LittleKiwi

    i can prove you wrong max. you can’ prove me wrong, can you wimp?



    keep talking down about “femmes”, max. won’t change the fact that he wishes you weren’t his son. and you know it. that’s why you hate femmes. they get to be everything you have to “not be” in order for your dad to tolerate your presence.

    textbook coward.

  • Kurt

    LGBT people are getting bashed, killed, and we’re having our rights taken away yet somehow all of this doesn’t matter since OMG there’s some queen in the state of Virgina who gets told he can’t wear high heels to school!

  • LittleKiwi

    the only gay men who talk shit about “femmes” are those sad pathetic gay men whose fathers resent having a gay son.

  • Mike

    JayKay is correct about kiwi. Nothing new to see here folks.

  • LittleKiwi

    that goes for Kurt, too.

    what IS with this site? it’s like a convention of Gay White Boys Whose Father’s Wished They’d Paid For That Abortion.

    you’re all such cowards, it’s astonishing.

  • LittleKiwi

    whatever, keep up your anonymous and miserable comments, dudes. won’t change the fact that your own parents are ashamed of you.

    it’s reality – gay men who are accepted don’t take issue with other gay men who fall on different sides of the “masc/femme” spectrum – that’s exclusively the domain of the resentful homosexuals who think if they insult “femmes” that maybe their dads will love them again.

    hint: nope :D

  • Steven

    Kiwi, who cares? The guys who you’re flaming and trying to “prove wrong” have said how their parents and fathers are fine with the fact that they’re gay.

  • Jordan

    Kiwi you are only person here who has issues with their dad, with being gay, and who flies off the handle at “Femmes” or anyone who is not femme or not into effeminate men at all.

  • LittleKiwi

    yeah. and they’re lying :D

    i get it, though – you can insult this kid, who is Out as a teen, because insulting him distracts you from the fact that your own father’s are ashamed to call you Son.

    i get it. it’s just pathetic. hating “femmes” won’t make your own lives better.

    and yeah, people will “say” a lot, but none will prove it. why? because they’re lying. continue lying anonymously, boys. i realize this is all some of you have in life. good luck.

  • LittleKiwi

    actually, “Jordan” i have no problem at all with guys who “aren’t femme” – my bf certainly isn’t femme.
    what i have a problem with are insecure cowards who insult femmes online from a place of closeted anonymity.

    it’s pathetic.

    as for me having “issues with my dad” ….uh, funny :D take a gander:

    see/ unlike you guys (who, i know, are really just two or three going back and forth with various aliases, HA!) i can put a face and name to what i’m saying.

    there’s me and the family!

    but hey, by all means wimps – keep insulting femmes, just understand that it won’t make your fathers love you. in fact, it’ll just make you look like more of a wimp in front of him.

    real mean stand up for their brothers, not throw them under their bus so you can win cred with the bigots you call family.

  • Jake

    @Kiwi This is coming from yourself who spams comments, is a professional troll, and who lives online here and on other sites. You really should get off the internet for awhile it’s for the best.

    FYI I’ve been out as a teen to both of my parents and I’m their Son and they’re not ashamed of me. I don’t give a sh!t if you believe me or not since I know this is true and you’re nobody.

  • LittleKiwi

    but you can’t prove it. i can.

    you guys are angry at Asante for the same reason you’re angry at me: you don’t have the balls to live the way we do.

    that’s not our fault. man up already you cowards.

  • Brian

    i am now typing with a fake name to show how easy it is

  • LittleKiwi

    i should have said “coward” – as it’s bloody obvious that i’m now having an argument with one little wimp who’s going back and forth between names.

    no wonder you’re dads ashamed of you. you’re certifiable.

  • Huh ...

    Wow. Move over, Isaac. Queerty trolling has a new king!

  • Congrats!

    Kiwi you’re the new king of the trolls!

  • CBRad

    Why are you guys talking about peoples’ fathers and parents now ??! Do adults really care what their dopey parents think (unless the parents are worthy of such merit, like Nobel Prize winners or something). If my father ever tried to put down my sexuality I’d just punch him out and then stick my foot up his ass, like I’d do to anybody else. What would be more interesting to discuss here, is : should kids get to wear what they want in public schools or not? Can they wear religious medals? There’ve been cases where crosses were forbidden. What about swastikas? Can one gender automatically be allowed to wear the same clothing as another? Maybe school uniforms really are a good idea (they eliminate competitiveness and distractions)?

  • Briony

    yeah, i can pretend i’m lots of people too! look, my name is Briony!

  • Chadly

    I’m a really masculine gay guy and i’ve been Out since i was 4 years old and i’ve never once encountered any form of anti-gay bullying because i’m also from virginia

    and no i don’t have to prove it

  • Blacula

    I’m count blacula and i also think that it’s not indicative of insanity to post lots of comments under different names and pretend i’m lots of different people.

  • What a surprise ...

    Queens like kiwi and the idiot ITT being professional victims, attention whores, and making lots of drama over a tempest in a teapot since one gay teen was told that he could not wear a certain type of shoes to school.

  • Stevven

    i am not a stereotypical gay, i’m the most butch gay guy ever and i came out when i was still a fetus and i’m also half black and over 8 feet tall and i invented the basketball.

    and anyone who asks for any form of verification from people is a troll. because a troll certainly isn’t what i’ve been doing right now, which is commenting under different name to make it seem like people are agreeing with me, when they’re actually not, because it’s just been me. with different names.

  • LittleKiwi

    so, yeah. that’s why i keep asking for people to show who they are.

    any freakin’ lunatic can make stuff up. those are the trolls. wise up.

  • Huh ...

    Again: Wow. What a train wreck.

  • Scott

    queerty’s resident troll kiwi is back. Issac is gonna have competition!

  • Michael

    Kiwi nobody cares. Go troll Towleroad but they’re sick and tired of you there too just like everyone here is.

  • Tom

    +1,000 yusiko and Ed Riseman. What sort of dimwit parents allow their son to go to school dressed in heels? He could have taken them with him and changed into them but since this drama queen craved attention he got it. He shit in his own bed so he can lie in it.

  • Bill

    This is why they hate us.

  • Allen

    OH MY! So lemme get this straight (no pun!) some queen gets told he can’t wear his heels to school, throws a bitch fit like the drama queen and attention whore she is, and even goes as far as calling the press screaming that it’s homophobia and discrimination-watch he’ll play the race card too, and out of all the vastly important issues effecting LGBT People today such as same sex marriage, getting rid of DOMA, getting ENDA passed, and stopping the genocide of bisexual and gay men in certain countries we’re all supposed to rally around the utterly pointless right of one guy to wear heels to school?

  • Unfortunately

    @Michael: The kiwi person must be terrified of being ignored and irrelevant, which is why he posts links links links to his boring blog and youtube.

  • Allen

    This drama queen ITT has gay face for miles. He got just what he deserved. The courts have upheld school dress codes as Constitutional–even public schools can require students to wear uniforms…..and the purpose of them is to prevent the kind of attire that creates disruption. I got sent home from school in high school myself back in the 70’s for having “wild” hair (even by 70’s standards)–I didn’t like it, but there was nothing I could do about it.

    Any gay man who wears women’s clothing or otherwise chooses to behave effeminately is an embarrassment and does not deserve any sympathy when they experience problems because of it–as they invariably will. It is their choice to act that way and they can live with the consequences.

  • Jack

    Why is he wearing heels to school? He’s supposed to conform to the dress code-this is not a fashion show. If he was wearing heels and fell down while on the stairs the school could be sued. Yes, a man in heels looks ridiculous and repulsive. It’s intent is to disrupt, and not in a good way. There’s no gay or GLBT rights issues here.

  • Sam

    Little Kiwi, your coercion will not work, give it up already dude. Not everyone has to have a blog, site, or u-tube vids whatever. No one has to give into your demands. Always the same crap, different day, “…show your self, show me your site and videos or you’re not out, put up a pic, or you’re not masculine and hate effeminates…” Give it a rest. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, we got it…you’re here, you’re queer, good for you haha thankfully not everyone is exactly like you.


    I hope I am not being flagged because I am kinsey 4 gay- identified female. I am only a jerk 2 those will hurt and attack the glbtqaip community. you know, the gay- hating politicians, gay bashers of any sort, religious zealots, celebrities who think that their opinion IS FACT. In fact, I have been attacked on this site. So from NOW ON I WILL NO LONGER PERSONALLY ATTACK ANYONE(OTHER COMMENTERS). I MEAN, AFTER ALL WE NEED 2 B INCLUSIVE IN THE GAY COMMUNITY IF WE WANT EQUAL RIGHTS.We may not all agree or even like some of the commenters on this site ( including yours truly). PEACE, LOVE, AND LIGHT, YA’LL!!!

  • Teacher

    As an adult “Same Gender Loving Male”. This particular case is foolishness okay! As a gay male myself. Had I been principal? I’d have suspended this young man as well! There’s a time and place for everything and school isn’t the place to wear 6 inch heels. Asante my dearest child you aren’t going to school to do the cat walk, work the fashion runway sweetie! You are there to get an education so that you can get on in life and create a vocation, job, and place where you can wear heels whenever you want to okayyy??? Don’t get it twisted. If you identified as transgender with official Dr.’s papers & notes perhaps some accommodations could be made that would work for both you and the school.

  • Mac

    Tastey, you can call yourself ‘gay’ all you want but if you’re a Kinsey 4 then you’re bisexual.

  • James

    Poor baby… his feelings were hurt. Guess what…. that’s life. There are people that will like you, there will be those that don’t. There will be people who like you specifically because you are gay or LGBT, there are those that don’t.

    Wearing 6 inch heels is a safety hazard for anyone..women too, and very inappropriate for school attire. Who does she think she is Kim Kardashian?

  • Markus

    The kid is 17 and is not representative of the gay or LGBT community or an advocate of the gay or LGBT community. Jesus, I am a pediatrician for 27 years and I recognize “acting out” for one reason or another (usually it’s a situation at home). He’s 17!

  • Nick

    I don’t care if he wears heels or not, but he is in a public school setting and in a public school he has to abide by school policy. He doesn’t make the rules there and he can’t do whatever he wants or wear whatever he wants.

    He was just suspended for not listening to the principal not for being gay. Whether he likes it or not, the principal makes the rules and if you ignore the rules or intentionally go against them like he did, you get suspended.



  • Mark

    Why on earth would you wear 6 inch high heels to school unless your intent was to anger, irritate and defy authority – especially if you are male? Sometimes I can only shake my head in disbelief at what some LGBT people will do for pointless attention. If you are LGBT then be proud of yourself. Making a spectacle of yourself does not become you and it certainly doesn’t help the rest of us LGBT people or LGBT youth if they are your peers.

    He wants the attention. If they had “seen him in high heels” before, there wouldn’t be the problem. If the principal asked him to take them off or to change shoes, he should have taken them off. It’s called respect. It’s not about him being gay – that’s a cop out – it’s about him being disrespectful and then claiming that he’s being discriminated against when there’s no actual discrimination at all.

  • Mac

    Tastey then you’re a Kinsey 6 since you’re not sexually attracted to men at all and MTF are women. If you were really a Kinsey 4 you’d be bisexual. I have friends both men and women who are Kinsey 4s and Kinsey 5s and they are both bisexual, while my Kinsey 6 friends are not at all. No women are not somehow more likely than men to be bisexual to think this is biphobia and bisexual erasure. Men are just as likely as women are to be bisexual. ON the Kinsey scale and Klein Grid everything inbetween 0 which is hetero and 6 which is gay/lesbian comprises bisexuality. NO you do not have to be a Kinsey 3 or 50/50 in order to be bisexual.

  • houtx48

    The principal was correct in telling him that 6 inch heels had to be removed. It was a distraction, it was unsafe and the only reason the young man wore the shoes was for attention. He got it. I don’t believe any teenager girls or boys in high school needs to be traversing slickly polished floors and stairs in six inch heels during school hours carrying 20 or 30 pounds of books in a backpack or bookbag. This kid is looking for some publicity.

  • Alex

    The school should suspend him just for the hazard 6 inch heels pose in rapid pace environment and since he refused to take them off or put different shoes on. If he trips and falls and hurts himself guess who is liable… Or worse yet he trips and falls hurting someone else making himself and the school liable..

  • Cory

    This wasn’t about not being allowed to “express himself” or about him being gay it was about wanting attention. This was about wanting to push the envelope to see what kind of reactions it would solicit.

    Wake up!! and get real! Anyone who says and thinks that others were not distracted or didn’t take a second look and start to laugh at a male student showing up in women’s high heels that were 6 inches isn’t living in the real world.

  • Marcos

    6″ heels is ridiculous. Not appropriate for school for either boys or girls. That school was just covering itself from a possible lawsuit if he fell and hurt himself. I doubt a girl in that situation would have been treated differently. I saw girls in HS get told to put on flats or at least less absurdly high heels when I saw girls wearing very high heels in school.

  • Phil

    This idiot queen is giving all LGBT people a bad name and his high heel publicity stunt is going to bite him in the ass since he’s not being actually discriminated against or a victim of homophobia at all. This queen screams major issues and attention whore and drama queen like all flaming queens do, and it’s not because he’s wearing heels, was told by a school administrator not to wear six inch heels, or because he’s gay. If this kid is actually suicidial he needs help. Or he’s just making a mockery out of LGBT people and straights who did kill themselves or who are suicidal like that other queen on youtube did faking being bullied and suicidal for his own sick 15 mins of fame.



  • Brent

    Meanwhile there are actually major issues for LGBT people and they don’t involve some kid in Virgina wearing high heels at school and then throwing a bitch fit and even going as far as claiming he’s a victim of actual homophobia and discrimination because the principal told him he couldn’t wear heels in school. Meanwhile this idiot can’t even use proper grammar or speak correctly ‘I wasn’t revealing nothing…’ which goes to show that Virginia has a lot of very shitty schools but OhOK also reflects this too.

  • Mac

    Goodies you’re just as bad as a homophobe or someone who claims that people can’t be LGBT when you’re claiming that women somehow have a fluid sexuality or are more likely to, while men somehow do not and can’t be bisexual, or how if they’re bisexual they’ll eventually somehow become gay. If a man is bisexual then he’s sexually attracted to both genders and he has a fluid sexuality and to say otherwise is biphobia and bisexual erasure.

  • CBRad

    @Phil: Jonah Mowry ! LOL. Finally remembered. That was that little YouTube liar’s name.

  • prince of snides aka divkid

    awesome use of all caps. i have the same problem in reverse :(
    is there a support group?

  • Dee

    Didnt read all above but i have a simple question…
    Is this a gay issue or a dress code issue? I could be worng but i didnt think anyone was allowed to waer 6in heels to hs.
    Im just asking

  • prince of snides aka divkid

    and yet..and yet…

    if he *could* dress in heels, without reproach, wouldn’t that state of affairs signal we had entered that longed for destination: where people are treated as individuals and their behaviour no longer policed and punished for how it conforms to or deviates from arbitrarily established gender norms…
    this, if you think about it, being kinda why we are where we are now.

    i know, i know, i’m a mad dreamer. my bad. carry on hating the sissy.

  • Mark

    If he could dress in heels and wear them at school I doubt they’d let him wear ones that are six inches tall.

    Tastey aYou might as well just admit that you’re bisexual and come out as bisexual since you’re not gay or lesbian and if you were lesbian you wouldn’t be sexually attracted to men at all. Yes it is biphobia and bisexual erasure when you’re claiming that women are somehow fluid in their sexuality and can be bisexual but men can’t be. BTW with many bisexuals they have times when they’re not attracted to a certain gender and you don’t have to be 50 50.

  • JayKKK

    gay liberals are the problem and so are femmes! it’s true! when my dad caught me looking at gay porn he said “if you promise not to act like a fag and keep your preference a secret then i promise to not make fun of you in front of my friends, but if ou start acting like a flaming queen i’m gonna disown you because im not having a faggot for a son!”

    see? that shows that he accepts me and it’s this little flamers fault that he got suspended because if he was just a real man like me and did what people said then he could do what i do which is suck cock in secret like a real man does.

  • Tyler

    I’m not signing any pointless petition for this drama queen. He wanted attention and he clearly got it now. Asante doesn’t even have an excellent education and can’t even speak correctly, and I’m sure his writing sucks as well. Then again it’s like someone else said schools in Virgina suck and OHOK is reflective of this as well since he can’t write correctly either.

  • Anonymous

    This is three students of Charles City High school we would rather our names not be used. Asante was not suspended because he was gay or for what he had on he was suspended for using profanity towards the principal. In his interview the comment that he said the principal said we do not believe she said to him. Asante has stayed in trouble all year not because of what he was wearing but because of the things he was saying and doing. We do not believe the news article told the whole story or the right story at that. We have a wonderful principal she is not against gays. This was just taken too far.

  • Alexi3

    @ed riseman: I’ve never understood this arguement. I’ve never understood how knowledge that another human being is enduring even more pain could make someone feel better. All this reasoning has done for me is cause more pain. The whole idea that relative to someone else’s experience you don’t have “anything to complain about”, is missing tthe point. The issue is that it’s sad and unjust that either person (or anyone) should be experiencing any pain or discrimination simply for expressing or being who they are.

  • Alexi3

    @Chadly: Just curious. What, in your opinion makes for “a really masculine gay guy”? I could sure use a check list. There is probably a niche market for this type of self-help book. I know some publishers.

  • DSBM

    Hah, some people here accusing Kiwi of trolling when he is parodizing the trolls in the first place. Oh, the humanity.

    Well, back on topic, Asante should be able to wear what the hell he wants. Slippery surfaces at school are no excuse, since such a thing isn’t supposed to exist in a school environment in the first place! I’ve slippered in flats as well. Heck, I’ve even fallen down a staircase with flats! So no, it’s not an excuse.

    Now, I don’t know what the heels policy for this school now is. But if girls are allowed to wear heels, then it only shows more about the double standard that are present in this school.

    And also if no one is allowed to wear heels, I don’t think for a second that “no heels” policies are ensured because of the “safety of students”. My ass they do.
    Usually it’s because heels are seen as sexually provocative items of clothing and they make you seen as a “whore” when you wear them. And such a thing is “deplorable to the moral values of our students”. Safety is just an excuse for such policies. I bet that with the “no heels” policies in some schools are accompanied the “no revealing clothes” policies as well. Wouldn’t really surprise me.

    Instead of showing an example of having compassion and respecting people despite superficialities, no, the school has to look down on them and suspending them because of trivialities. How amusing.
    The funniest is that the next second, they are crying about how they want to protect children from bullies and oh how horrible it is with bullying. Nice way to show it.

    Everyone that wears high heels are whores and queers anyway, right?

    PS. The ones calling Asante a drama queen, or that he is not helping the LGBT causes, get over yourselves. Instead of siding with the bully society we have in this world, why not actually not supporting people to be themselves and wear what they want?
    However, I guess it’s hard for some people to get in their heads that status quo isn’t worth crap.
    So damn what if people associate you with high heel wearing “queens”, just because you’re gay/bi? Is it anything wrong with dressing in heels? Are those people that chide you for it your REAL friends at all? Why trying to impress people how “normal” one is when your “friends” don’t care about one’s inner core, but only about the superficial notions of oneself?

    No one is normal. Period. If people think that you will suddenly start to love shopping or what not because you’re gay, enlighten them. It’s their own fault that they see some people in a group and then judge everyone by them. It’s not the people that are considered the “stereotype”‘s fault.

    But if it is the kind of friends you want to have, then it’s your fucking own fault.
    I, on the other hand, tell these people to go fuck themselves backwards with a chainsaw.

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