SIDE EFFECTS

Viagra Sounds Like Fun, Until It Makes You Deaf

My friend who’s a urological nurse tells me all sort of stories about dumb guys who take Viagra thinking it will make them a sex-God only to end up with a painful 8-hour boner that has to be drained of blood until flaccid. Well it looks like the little blue pill might have a few other unintended side effects, like making you go deaf and keeping pitbulls alive.

A study at the University of Alabama at Birmingham School of Public Health said that among 11,525 men over age 40, those who took Viagra or other ED meds—like Cialis and Levitra—were twice as likely to report hearing loss, though the study only “shows an association, not a direct cause-effect link.”

The researchers acknowledged they have no idea how ED meds like Viagra could cause hearing loss and acknowledged that the men’s bad hearing could be caused by other drugs, old age, pre-existing medical conditions, or rocking out to Jefferson Starship with the volume turned up to eleven.

Meanwhile a Long Island animal shelter is seeking boner pills for Ingrid, a six-year-old pit bull who needs two 50-milligram Viagra pills everyday to live. The drug promotes bloodflow through her worm-eaten heart and now that her supply’s getting low, the shelter has asked Long Islanders to mail in theirs. One woman sent in the stash she figures her husband uses to schtup his mistress.

Viagra: Making sex-hungry gays deaf, and keeping old dogs frisky.