STATUS UPDATE

Vice Magazine Ranks The 10 Hottest Homophopbes On Facebook

We remember reading Vice magazine in high school and laughing our asses off over the Do’s and Don’ts. We were kinda perpetually high back then, so we thought maybe the mag wasn’t as funny as we remembered. But we recently came across a feature by writer Jamie Lee Curtis Taete (we’re gonna assume that’s a nom du plume) that confirms Vice as a source of outrageously un-p.c. guffaws.Taete pored through what we can only imagine were dozens of Facebook statuses to find choice examples of knee-jerk lowbrow homophobia from white trash, wiggers, ghetto boys and other assorted losers—and then wryly commented on them.

Take, for example, Clay:

JLCT retorts thusly to this fashion-plate farm boy: “Oh Clay, let’s just say I wish that I was that goat, and you weren’t wearing those jeans. If you can wrap your head around that innuendo.”

We get the impression Jamie is using the word “hot” sarcastically. Or perhaps s/he’s saying they’re actually overheated—an odd number of them appear to be shirtless.

Like Ron:

JLCT’s reply? “I’m not 100 percent sure what you’re talking about here, Ron, but boy would I love to fuck that facepaint right off of your head.”

Again, we hope s/he’s being sarcastic.

Click here for the full rundown of FB homo haters.

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9 Comments

  • Mike

    I just went through the whole list. They are all kids. And kids have parents! I am not excusing the kids but the real source of their homophobia are the parents (if present).

  • reverend bob

    God didn’t make anyway because there is no god

  • reverend bob

    I meant: god didn’t make ANYONE because there is no god

  • John

    I’m sorry, those are freaking hilarious! I laughed so hard my abs hurt.

  • hi

    What? Is that a barn behind him??? What hick town is he from? How do these people learn how to get on internet?

  • CBRad

    @Mike: Not necessarily. Tons of kids have a rebellious thing going on and go against all their parents’ beliefs.

  • divkid

    don’t be mean.

    slack jawed slope headed swamp dwellers suit me just fine.

    and if they can play the banjo that’s marriage material.

  • skzip888

    I suggest getting that goat’s head away from your crotch before dusting off the old “Adam and Steve” argument.

  • prettygirls

    Clearly this list is fake, there are white guys on it and I thought homophobia was a “black thang”. I’m soooo confused….

Comments are closed.