Users in Reddit’s r/askgaybros forum let loose recently when one user asked for other gay bros’ “pettiest/most shallow dealbreaker.”
Some of the responses are hilariously harsh (like using Internet Explorer “out of choice”). Others are all too relatable and, in our book, questionably petty (like “judge-y people”).
We included some of the most interesting responses below, editing the comments for readability and leaving out the body-negative ones.
“Short texts/one-word answers for all messages.”
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
“Text speech when messaging. (For example, ‘hwr u?’)”
“Eating with mouth open. Or talking with a full mouth.”
“Picky eaters.”
“Belief in astrology.”
“Broke up with a guy because he uses Internet Explorer out of choice.”
Related: What jobs are dealbreakers for a romantic connection? Guys say…
“Judge-y people. If you make a disparaging remark about the way someone dresses, how they walk, how they talk, it’s a dealbreaker. If someone is just trying to live their life and it doesn’t affect you in any way, but you still feel the need to make negative comments, I’m out.”
“Inability to be creative and critically think. It’s fun to create new things but also be able to be critical about your new ideas or other ideas you adopt.”
“[If I’m] being honest, smoking of any kind. Like, enjoy what you want, but I don’t feel the best connection when someone uses them.”
“Posing with a car that isn’t yours. Sh*t pieces me off, literally.”
“I can’t date anyone that avoids confrontation.”
“In a Tinder setting or quick-judgment-first-date setting, I’m not even going to bother with a Republican—just auto-goodbye. I’d have a long conversation with a Libertarian but probably not go on a second date with them, but it heavily depends on their answers. Auto-no for Republicans, though.”
“If they use the wrong ‘your/you’re.’ A while back, some guy said, ‘Your so adorable,’ and I blocked him.”
“Makeup. Lots of gay guys like to wear it, but 9/10 times, it’s a turn-off for me.”
“Men who uses tanning beds.”
Related: Gay guys list the first-date behaviors that immediately turn them off
“Whether they expect me to like drag or Lady Gaga/Beyoncé/Name Your Gay Icon of Choice. I’m fine if you like them. Most guys I’ve dated have been into them. I just hate the assumption that, because I’m gay, I’m obligated to like them. If someone makes the ‘bad gay’ joke about me or accuses me of internalized homophobia because I’m not into them, I immediately lose interest.”
“I’m not proud of any of these, and I’m quite sure I’m missing out on quality connections because of my biases, but since you asked… 1. Men who say 1a) ‘irregardless’ 1b) ‘ATM machine,’ ‘PIN number,’ ‘For your FYI,’ et cetera, 2. Men with sculpted eyebrows, 3. Men who like Disney, and I mean, really like it, 4. Men who wear clothes or carry products that advertise a brand (think Louis Vuitton), 5. Men who don’t say please or thank you (e.g., ‘Give me a vodka tonic,’ vs. ‘Can I please have a vodka tonic?’), 6. Men who have messy rooms in the backgrounds of their profile pics, 7. Men whose profile pic includes posing with exotic or endangered animals (snakes, tigers, lions etc.), 8. Men who wear mom jeans with irony, ad infinitum…”
“I’m not into guys who have an artificial hair color (pink, green, blue, etc.). Also not a fan of guys who wear makeup. Having your nails painted is fine, though.”
“Nail polish.”
“If they pass gas/burp without saying ‘Excuse me’…”
“He can’t have a sh*tty/generic taste in music. I’m sorry, lmao.”
“Braided belts.”
“He called metal music ‘screamo.’”
“If he wears flip-flops everywhere.”
“Android users.”
Chrisk
Lots of these were very relatable. Some sounded like complete douchebags though. Android users and using the the wrong ‘your/you’re. Serious ?
Heywood Jablowme
I’ve worked as a copy editor but no way could I get mad at a guy who texted “Your so adorable”!
jcool
well, here’s a deal maker
i don’t care about any of that stuff, if he’s got a big one he can do me
MrGoldman
I agree with all of those, except short one-word message replies.
UncleFloppy
I take a hard pass if they believe in astrology or Big Foot.
bachy
This is going to sound odd, but if a guy posts a photo of himself in a pool with a dolphin, it’s an immediate pass. Also, a cozy photo of a guy in a bed with his arms around a dog. Disgusting. Big No.
Sqwoah
But remember how mad we all supposed to get when somebody says no fats, no fems?
Kangol2
You’re telling on yourself again!
monty clift
The truth is most guys won’t go for fats or fems. Not even fats or fems will go for fats or fems.
bachy
@monty clift: a head scratcher, for sure!
moviemag
Some guys are destined to be alone…
CityguyUSA
Why?
NateOcean
Knowing how poor Google’s auto-correct is, I think we should cut them some slack. Often *after* I’ve sent a message I read what Google turned it into, and am appalled. And the opposite occurs as well. How many times I wanted to tell someone to “go f*uck yourself” and Google changed it to “go duck yourself”. Or one guy told me he “likes to sick”, when he typed “suck”.
That said, profiles that selectively leave out age, or weight, or race usually are a warning sign. Or profiles with no pics, or worse, interesting pics or cartoons, but not a single pic of the person. Or cropped the pic right at the start of their balding head. Remember *they* are the ones doing this.
The worse are those with absurdly loooong essays in the profile. Or worse than that, they start off interesting then transition to some clap-trap about “flakes” or “fakes” or “cheaters” or “liars” and how “if you screw with me, I will f’ you up”. Like they’ve re-entered the dating pool too quickly after a bitter break up.
Iona Lexiss
I want to date this guy…“… 1. Men who say 1a) ‘irregardless’ 1b) ‘ATM machine,’ ‘PIN number,’ ‘For your FYI,’ et cetera, 2. Men with sculpted eyebrows, 3. Men who like Disney, and I mean, really like it, 4. Men who wear clothes or carry products that advertise a brand (think Louis Vuitton), 5. Men who don’t say please or thank you (e.g., ‘Give me a vodka tonic,’ vs. ‘Can I please have a vodka tonic?’), 6. Men who have messy rooms in the backgrounds of their profile pics, 7. Men whose profile pic includes posing with exotic or endangered animals (snakes, tigers, lions etc.), 8. Men who wear mom jeans with irony, ad infinitum…”
bachy
omigod yes– guys who boast of having a Disney Annual Pass in their profiles!
Zombiez8mybrain
They forgot “Guys who put their Briggs-Myers test results in their profiles.”
Oh, wait… that my deal-breaker!
hwgusn
I don’t even know what that is.
MrMichaelJ
Nipple rings
Man About Town
I am SO with you on that one. You can be the hottest guy in the world, closer to my type than anyone else, but if I see you with pierced nipples I will head directly to the nearest ex-gay ministries and offer myself up for “conversion!”
linedrive
Nipple rings??!! Nooo! That’s one of my absolute weaknesses. I think they’re insanely sexy. But I don’t judge you for being completely wrong. 😉
Seth
Crocs and conservatism.
powersthatbe
In the spirit of being petty, it’s “May I have a vodka tonic please?” Lmao sryntsry.
Mine was height. I’m 6ft 1″ (185cm) with a back problem. No “pocket gays” for me. This said, my current partner of 6 years is 5ft 9″ (175cm), go figure.
Petty dealbreakers will never be a problem if the chemistry is right. I believe in the “click”, and if it’s right, you can just feel it. Also smells, the natural smell of someone. When these work, nothing else matters. But this is just me…
Mike Hunt
Hard passes for me:
1) Guys with a man-bun. More so if accompanied by crocs, vaping, and/or saying “my friend” when addressing me.
2) Guys who treat waiters and other service professionals like crap.
3) Guys with even slightly yellowed teeth, toenail fungus, or unsightly big facial moles. ALL of these can easily be successfully remedied.
4) Guys who reference Disney and their “annual pass” or “frequent visitor status.” I live in central Florida and you would not believe how common this is in online profiles. Who cares about your Disney fetish!
5) Online profiles with pictures of animals, waterfalls, nature, space, or some other irrelevant material. The same profiles conveniently omit such critical data as age, accurate weight, accurate peepee size, and any photo of the author. Come in! It’s OK to be over 50, 260 pounds, and/or have a 5” weiner. It’s not OK to brazenly conceal this information if you think you have even a remote chance at getting inside my shorts.
6) Bad breath. This, too, can easily be corrected.
That’s my short list. Very short ….
tjack47
The absolutely worst, most shallow thing I did was ghosting someone because of their laugh. We’d dated a couple of times. The sex was good, and I found him attractive. He was a nurse, and I was a healthcare worker. There are so many things that I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about like penis size, age(though I tend to prefer older or contemporaries), your car isn’t important.
One night we had our first movie date. I heard him laugh, or so I thought. Then suddenly he let’s out this horrible donkey sounding outside voice hee haw laugh. I wanted to crawl in the floor. Everyone around us was laughing and talking about him, but he had no insight nor awareness at all. No thank you, Sugar! No, Honey! Bless your little pea picking heart! I’m a horrible human being.
JTinToronto
Guys who do drag. Not a judgment or criticism, just a preference. I’ve seen some amazing drag performances, truly outstanding. To the guys who do drag, power to you. Just because it doesn’t appeal to ME doesn’t mean I think there is anything wrong with it. Whatever floats your boat.
nunya
I can agree with most of what’s been posted here and could add quite a bit more. My bottom line is be a man; if I wanted a woman, I’d have stayed married to the one I had.
Man About Town
I love the guy who says “not a fan of guys who wear makeup. Having your nails painted is fine, though.” He’s probably a Gemini. Whoops, there goes the astrology dealbreaker!
Jaquelope
For me, it’s guys who swear infinite love for me even before we’ve actually met, those who immediately on making contact (or very shortly thereafter) ask for money to “come meet me” (These generally do both at the same time), treat service workers like crap, are size queens, narcissists, liars and/or cheaters.