do the math

Washington Man Wants Gayer Congress, Fewer Math Tests, Healthier Ducks

Ladies and gentlemen, Washington State Representative Marko Liias! He’s thinking about running for Congress, and if elected, he would be the first openly gay Congressman from the West Coast.

Obviously, he has too many vowels in his name, but what else do we know about him? Let’s read and find out.

  • He is a recipient of a Certificate of Recognition from an association of recreational fishermen for his work to increase crabbing opportunities. There are not a lot of candidates who can say that, that’s for sure!
  • He sponsored Washington’s anti-bullying law, which just happens to have been signed into law this morning. Well, okay!
  • He’s not the best at fundraising. Washington lawmakers are not allowed to fundraise during legislative sessions, but during a tiny 72-hour gap between sessions in April, Liias managed to squirt out a fundraising blast that netted him the princely sum of $2,000. One of his colleagues who did the same thing raised $12,000.
  • He supported the state’s civil union legislation, but then, he would. He lives with his partner, Michael (who does not appear to have liked any of Marko’s posts on Facebook).
  • He hates coal. Really hates coal. But he does like public parks and ducks, and does not want them to have to swim in oily water. So, he’s got the duck vote all wrapped up.
  • He sponsored a bill that would allow the lead guitarist of Pearl Jam to use employee restrooms, provided he has a note from his doctor. Actually the law would apply to anyone with Crohn’s Disease, but we like the idea of it being tailored soley to apply to Mike McCready.
  • And he sponsored a bill that would eliminate a math testing requirement in high schools. Oh really! FUCK CONGRESS, MAKE THIS MAN KING OF THE WORLD.