YouTuber lyingfromyou824 just posted this touching clip, in which her dad shows her bisexual brother, Dylan, the new tattoo he got to show his support for his son’s sexual orientation.
He was most nervous about coming out to my old school Italian father who can be a bit of a hard-ass but mush at heart.
So my brother decided to get born this way tattooed on his wrist in Gaga’s handwriting after he met her, for obvious reasons, and it meant and still does a lot to him. My dad yesterday before Dylan came home for spring break got “born this way” in Italian tattooed on his wrist to show his acceptance and deep love for his only son who he is so proud of every day. I love my family.
As moving as the tattoo itself is, we’re even more blown away by the honest display of emotion from father and son. Once again, the power of Gaga brings a family together.
Seamus
GaGa has condensed the movement’s guiding principle into a three word slogan. Human sexuality isn’t so black and white. Are people born gay, or is one’s sexuality also an affect of social interaction? The movement can’t seem to tolerate a more articulate understanding of human sexuality.
Little-Kiwi
so much for Lady Gaga not having any impact, eh? đ
this is a wonderful thing, and i hope it sends a message to folks out there who continue to think that hating Lady Gaga will somehow make their own lives better. it wont.
you don’t have to like her, nor listen to her. but talking about how you can’t stand her, ever day, will not make anyone think you’re a “better” gay.
so, yeah. rock on Dad! this is a beautiful story.
Little-Kiwi
Seamus, “born this way” isn’t what you think it is – its not a song about “homosexuality being an innate orientation”, as evidenced by the actual lyrics to the song. its about a whole heck of a lot more than that.
you miss the point entirely by thinking that Lady Gaga has, in your words, “condensed the movementâs guiding principle into a three word slogan” – for some reason gay men seem to think that this song is just about them, and them alone.
it’s not. you’re wrong.
it’s not a song about what you are, but who you are, and how you are about it. for some reason this simple fact is lost on the homosexual apologists who keep thinking that hating lady gaga will win them acceptance from the scum of this country. tis very odd.
Seamus
@Little-Kiwi: Forgive me. I should have said, “The movement has adopted GaGa’s lyric into a three word slogan.”
Little-Kiwi
how has “the movement” done that?
what I’m seeing are individuals, from all walks of life and way of being, simply being empowered by a statement in a song. which, for those without memories, happens every generation when a new hero gets thrown up onto the pop-charts.
anyone who thinks that “born this way” is a song about “homosexuality being an innate orientation” either hasn’t listened to the lyrics of the song, or is choosing to take a miserably-contrarian stance for the sake of convincing themselves that they’re a Unique Rebel.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
bella. grazie
Seamus
@Little-Kiwi: Anyone whose understanding, or lack thereof, of human sexuality is the fundamentalist idea that human beings are merely born gay, has a limited perspective on the subject of human sexuality. I made a generalization. Call out the National Guard and have me arrested.
Little-Kiwi
chill, hon. but you’re making a generalization that’s useless. again, this song is not about “being born gay”. The song is about way more than that, which some gay men don’t seem to understand. it’s very odd.
Riker
@Little-Kiwi: Nice to see you’ve turned up again. I had almost forgotten your pop psychology rantings about other commenter’s parents.
Little-Kiwi
you support sarah palin. yeah, you’re totally well-adjusted đ
CBRad
If this story is for real, it’s time for the father to just come out himself.
Huh ...
@Little-Kiwi: “choosing to take a miserably-contrarian stance for the sake of convincing themselves that theyâre a Unique Rebel.”
If that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black.
Little-Kiwi
CBRad, he did.
he came out in support of his son.
this is how we win. it’s not just about the LGBT person coming out, it’s about the whole family coming out, too.
CBRad
@Little-Kiwi: I suspect he’s gay himself, and coming out through his son in a roundabout way. But I could be wrong. Otherwise, I think it’s a crazily extreme way to show support, but….then again, I don’t know them. Maybe they always hadn’t gotten along, so it’s actually cool that the father did it. It’s between them.
Little-Kiwi
i don’t consider myself a unique rebel. i’m just a guy with opinions who, unlike a great many others, isn’t sharing them from a place of anonymous online cowardice.
keep commenting from inside the closet. won’t make your own life better.
Little-Kiwi
i think that’s a sad assumption. i know that many people can’t fathom the idea that a straight man will care more about his LGBT child than about “what other people think” , but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t parents out there who do indeed value their child’s opinion more than they care about “what the neighbors think.”
my dad didn’t get a tattoo, but he’s a college professor who wears a rainbow Pride bracelet every single day, in support f not just me, but the entire LGBT Community.
Little-Kiwi
here đ
http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.com/2011/04/fathers-message.html
CBRad
But I still think the Born This Way slogan is totally lame. I see that the significance is for those who argue that people are born gay as opposed to the generally homophobic argument that people just “go” gay for some wrong reason, but to me that’s always been an inane argument. Who cares if people choose it for themselves or are innately like that? It shouldn’t have the slightest relevance to anything else regarding same-sex rights. So Born This way, to me, is just something neutral. Neither good nor bad. Some people are born musical prodigies, some people are born serial killers.
CBRad
@Little-Kiwi: I already said I don’t know for sure. I don’t know them. It might be a good thing.
Little-Kiwi
but CBRad the song is not just about gay people. it’s about anyone, who for any reason, feels they exist on some outsider-fringe of the “norm”.
born this way isn’t a statement about the innateness of orientation, but about identity and self-worth. i truly have no idea why so many people don’t understand this. it’s right there in the lyrics.
and again, what’s lame to some is empowering to others. it’s amazing how many lives this young woman has saved with her music and her messages of empowerment.
to a young kid in ultra-religious Topeka, for example, a lady gaga cd might be the only influence or outlet in his life that says it’s Ok for him to be who he is.
i’ve never understood the ragging on certain artists….if you don’t dig it, don’t listen. but there’s no denying that this woman is changing so many young people’s lives for the better. is her music for me? no. but i’m certainly glad it’s there for the millions who are hearing her and learning to love themselves, just as they are.
Huh ...
@Little-Kiwi: Gee. Your father has the audacity to express solidarity with the gay community — in academia?! Probably the one environment in the world where being pro-gay carries the least risk. What a bold stance.
CBRad
@Little-Kiwi: But what you create out of yourself is more important than what is innately there. Again, what’s innately there can be good or bad. That’s why “I Am What I Am” made more sense if people want to choose a gay anthem, or anthem for any “outsider” types.
Little-Kiwi
don’t be mad that my father does for the community what your own father would never do for you.
similarly, don’t be angry that Dylan’s father feels similarly.
it won’t make your own life better, nor will it make ours worse.
Little-Kiwi
but born this way isn’t about innate biology. come on, do you folks take things so literally?
it’s not a song about the innateness of anything.
Huh ...
@Little-Kiwi: I feel great for Dylan. I feel great for you. I just think it sucks that you have adopted this insanely ugly superiority complex that you use to put down other gay men (talk about doing something for the community), especially when you’ve never really had to face rejection and lack of support.
Little-Kiwi
I’ve blogged rather extensively about the rejection, lack of support, and outright prejudice i’ve experience since my childhood.
i’m not sure what superiority complex you’re talking about. i consider myself terribly average. i’m not “putting down” anyone but the miserable self-loathers who express resentment at anyone who is out there doing more than they are.
understand nuance. how about you post a video on youtube with your family? it would be a wonderful way to make a positive impact on the community, and help others.
so, what’s stopping you?
Little-Kiwi
so, what are your family members doing to promote LGBT Equality? clearly much more than mine. i’d love to see it, so i could perhaps learn from your example. đ
CBRad
@Little-Kiwi: It really is though. And I don’t hate Lady Gaga (Miss Germanotta), but I think Born This Way is a poor anthem. Choose..I Am What I Am or He’s A Rebel or…….”A Time For Us” from Romeo and Juliet for God’s sake. (Being “born this way” is the argument Peter Lorre uses in “M” to excuse his being a killer ! )
Huh ...
@Little-Kiwi: Oh fuck you. You can’t turn it off for a second.
Little-Kiwi
CBRad, when we tell people about the older songs that we think should be their anthems we instantly become not only our parents, but our GRANDparents, LOL!
“in my day, we had REAL anthems of rebellion!” LOL! know what i mean? i take lady gaga for what she is – a beautiful voice for her generation.
i’m oldschool. in the early 90s i “Expressed Myself”, grown up i was all about Bowie’s Rebel Rebel, Joan Jett’s “bad reputation”. Cyndi helped me show my True Colors.
but hey, even back then another generation was saying “well, this isn’t music! WE had _______!”
we become the generations before us đ
her song is, clearly, helping empower others. we should just be satisfied with that.
and, “huh”….why the angry response? you clearly think your family is doing a much-more risky stance in their promotion of LGBT Equality, why else would you scoff at what someone else is doing?
truly, just show me what you guys are doing and i can perhaps learn from your example. i’m always open to learning.
đ
CBRad
@Little-Kiwi: Only the dopes of history take as their anthem a song that has to be current. Don’t be restricted to your own “time”: search around for your own anthem, go back…all the way to the 1700’s if you want. (Even “I Vow To Thee My Country” can be a great personal anthem. Even “Super Freak”). Of course, what’s most important, is that people actually like the song. No matter how appropriate lyrics might be, if you don’t care for the sound of the song overall…it’s just not going to work as your anthem.
Little-Kiwi
CBRad, does that mean the song can be an anthem in 15 years? đ
it doesn’t matter that it’s not a song for you or i, what matters is that it helps someone else. as this video shows, it brought at least one father and son together. can’t knock that.
and you’re right, even hundreds of years ago “inspiring” things were said and written that are still empowering today. the writing of Jane Austen, Alex Haley, Maya Angelou. the songs of bob dylan, the beatles, john lennon, nina simone.
but you’re sounding a lot like a cantankerous grandparent with your dismissal of “current” music. all music is current at some point. doesn’t mean it means less than something that was current 30 years before.
Sam
Little Kiwi, your coercion will not work, give it up already dude. Not everyone has to have a blog, site, or u-tube vids whatever. No one has to give into your demands. Always the same crap, different day, ââŚshow your self, show me your site and videos or youâre not out, put up a pic, or youâre not masculine and hate effeminatesâŚâ Give it a rest. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, we got itâŚyouâre here, youâre queer, good for you haha thankfully not everyone is exactly like you. Furthermore LGBT people are “born this way” and someone’s orientation or gender is not a choice.
Little-Kiwi
clearly everyone here is not like me. why you’re all so proud of living Closeted lives, however is strangely puzzling.
thing is, i’ve never said anyone has to be anything like me.
what coercion are you talking about? you mean specifics, examples and proofs? that criticizing what one person is doing is sort of useless if you’re not showing a specific example of the “better” work you’re doing yourself?
of course nobody has to give in to *my* demands, especially when they’re hellbent on giving in to the demands of the prejudiced people whose approval they’re still seeking.
yeah, always my same crap every day. because wimps coming on here to post anonymous bitter comments from a place of cowardice is i no way the “same crap every day”. đ
it’s not my fault that you guy can’t put your money where your mouth is.
jason
In my view, it can sometimes be harder for a man to come out as bi than as gay.
If you’re a man who comes out as bi, you don’t fit into the gay political identity, which virtually the whole gay scene is based on. You get attacked by clueless and misguided queens who think that you must “really be gaĂż”.
Straight-identifying guys want to encourage you to realize your straight side more than your gay side because relationships between straight guys are often based on shared sexual interests that lead to a deep camaraderie bond, something that straight guys crave from each other.
Also, it’s quite different for a bi guy compared to a bi girl. Bi guys tend to be looked at cautiously by women because women generally fear men, their sexual power, and their potential for promiscuity. On the other hand, bi girls tend to align with the the sleazy straight guy fantasy, and are thus part and parcel of the promiscuity paradigm that straight men in general crave.
Little-Kiwi
@ “Huh”, I ask again – what much-more-bold stance is your dad taking to promote LGBT Equality?
genuinely curious.
Dr. Dick
Mad respect @Little-Kiwi: u have been the picture of grace and poise in the face of Teh Angry Anonymous Interwebbers. I dislike her music and, admittedly, many of her fans, but I %100 agree that she’s doin the damn thang for US, (even if gay rights was all an “elaborate PR concoction” as some bitter queens suggest) and her efforts should not be scoffed at by anyone NOT donating more time/$$$ to lgbtq rights/awareness. AND u have the bloggerballs to back up your claims. Kudos!
;P
JayKay
Oh my god he’s a Gaga stan too…
Little-Kiwi
@Dr. Dick: thanks brother.
i don’t listen to her music, myself. just not my personal taste, but i’m wicked proud to call her an ally. a young woman, who is truly the biggest name in music these days, and she’s consistently gone out of her way to be inclusive to, and celebratory of, the LGBT Communities.
what’s to complain about? i don’t need to be a fan of her music to appreciate the massive positive impact she clearly has on millions of others.
but yes, sadly, far too many gay men dont’ realize that anonymously logging onto a gay site to tell other anonymous people that they hate lady gaga isn’t actually going to make their own lives better, nor will it in any way help bring about true Equality for LGBT people.
Mike
Agreed Jason there’s A LOT of biphobia and bisexual erasure in the so called LGBT community and most of it comes from gay men and lesbians who you’d think would be allies to bisexuals.
CBRad
@Mike: That IS strange, isn’t it? Something about the Gay that just insists you have to go all one way or another. (And when I think of the true historical greats who were bi…)
CBRad
@Little-Kiwi: BUT….are those who don’t have a site or a blog really hiding, or are they just not those who are needy for attention?
CBRad
@Little-Kiwi: Prejudice you’ve suffered through childhood? In Canada ??!
Stephen
the bi-phobic sentiments have a clear basis and thus there’s a clear way to end them.
we all know that far too many gay men falsely co-opt the Bi label as a transitory stage before accepting themselves as gay. why? simple – gay = bad and bi = not totally gay, therefore not as bad. hello, firstyearcollege anyone?
i’ve seen it firsthand for more than a decade, especially in LGBT Family outreach: the child in a same-sex relationship says that they’re bi, and the parent isn’t “too freaked out” because at least it’s “Bi” and not “gay” and that means that there’s a hope that one day the kid will choose an opposite-sex partner.
we always let parents knows that Bisexuality is not “gay and straight” – it is its own unique orientation. whether or not a child chooses an opposite-sex partner one day does not mean that the child will be Heterosexual, nor free from attractions to members of the same sex.
Many gay people falsely use “bi” as a stepping-stone orientation label before they can admit to themselves, and others, that they are in fact gay.
this then leads Bi to look like a transitory phase and not the orientation that it actually is. Bi now Gay Later, anyone?
so, if we want to make things better for the bisexual community we need to really start curbing anti-gay prejudice: the fewer gay men there are falsely misrepresenting bisexuals the more bisexuals can represent themselves and we can stop people thinking that Bi is some “gateway to gay” phase. which it is not.
CBRad
@Little-Kiwi: Nope. Never said you had to reject what’s current. Just don’t have such mediocre standards that you limit your choices only to what’s current.
BigPineapple
who’s to say that a kid who enjoys this song, or others by Gaga, doesn’t also enjoy songs from decades past?
your tone is very ….well…. i’ve seen it a billion times before. your chosen stance against lady gaga is a pretty mediocre one, if i do say so.
wow. a gay man who tells everyone that he doesn’t like Lady Gaga, anonymously, on a gay site. wow. you’re a modern day che guevara.
as for “needy for attention” – that’s something cowards say to excuse their cowardice. just as a “slut” is what you label anyone whom you’re jealous of for getting more action than you.
“oh, whatever, he’s just an attention whore”
– said the cowardly closet case.
CBRad
@BigPineapple: hey, Pineapple doofus, I’m not the one posting nothing but links to Look At Me ! because I don’t have anything else going on.
BigPineapple
no, you’re the one who posts anonymously because, uh, you have a lot going on?
or something?
of course people like me piss off a lot of Internet Folks – you’re the ones without real lives, you can’t even put a face and name to what you say because your Online Persona is an inauthentic lie. that’s why i irk site-lurkers: unlike them, I don’t run away and hide anonymously.
CBRad
@BigPineapple: No, it’s guys like you who post links to vids and blogs about yourself and act like you’re taking a bold step, when really it’s the opposite: you’d be bolder if you posted no links at all. Because…really…you’re terrified of getting no attention.
BigPineapple
thanks for proving me right. you need to convince yourself that it takes “boldness” to anonymously comment from a place of anonymity on a website.
what next, the GOP is the part of LGBT equality? đ
LOL
Hope will never be silent. Invisibility is the Enemy. But hey, you just said that it’s “bold” to be an anonymous poster. yeahhhhh riiiiiight.
for all you cowards who bitch online anonymously, there will always be guys with bigger balls who put themselves out there to actually change things.
you’re welcome.
đ
http://youtu.be/d-ZnUO2pv4o
CBRad
@BigPineapple: It’s neither bold nor non-bold to post anonymously. It’s neither bold nor non-bold to post with links to yourself (like failing writers and actors always do). It’s whether ones opinion in his post makes sense or not to others (and, really, nobody that important is posting here or reading this blog, anyway. People with very full lives don’t waste time here).
CBRad
@BigPineapple: P.S. I’m not part of the GOP, but THEY’RE out there, so…where’s your admiration for them..?
BigPineapple
people with no lives at all waste time on here, from a place of anonymity đ
admiration in what? gay republicans? there’s no admiration for people who have to cut of their own balls in order to be tolerated.
they’re proof that eunuchs still exist.
http://youtu.be/2R6jqMysHaA
like this boy.
CBRad
@BigPineapple: Yup, myself included. I’ll admit that I waste too much time here where it…doesn’t matter. I don’t think anything of Gay Republicans, but by your theories we should admire them for being Out in public, no?
CBRad
@BigPineapple: Also, being “out” doesn’t mean anything in the U.S. or Canada anymore (unless you’re in a black neighborhood, where it’s a little more admirable for obvious reasons). Nobody cares. It’s not like you’re in the MidEast or Russia or Uganda.
Red Meat
@Seamus: The song is not called “Born This Gay,” it’s “Born This Way” for a reason.
…and OMG Madonna has not been mentioned yet (I checked)…
Madonna!
BigPineapple
nope and there’s noting in “my theories” that would suggest that. đ
gay republicans are….well… here: http://youtu.be/2R6jqMysHaA
now, there are guys who claim to be gay republicans on this site, adn they LOVE to complain about Obama. They too, of course, post from a place of anonymity.
*yawn*
typical.
Gay Republicans arent’ worth admiration for a very specific reason – they spend more time desperately insisting that they’re not like those “lefty liberal gays” and thus are building no bridges whatsoever.
ive posted vids on this. where i talk about these things. feel free to view them đ
it’s very simple – there are very specific complaints and comments from guys on this site, and others, that are exclusively the domain of the miserable insecure semi-Closeted miseryguts. and then when you call their bluff they either run away, or start utilizing fake profile names to bolster their “side”
it’s frankly pathetic. but that’s why a guy like me brings out such anger in them – i call their bluff and they can’t call mine. Ouch.
BigPineapple
CBRad, if it’s so easy then why can’t YOU put a face and name to it, eh?
yeah. didn’t think so.
seriously, you talk a big talk and yet you can’t verify any of the things you say. for that reason, yeah kiddo, i call your bluff.
truly. i call your bluff. you’ll give a long-winded explanation of why you don’t need to prove anything. by doing so, however, you’ll join the others in proving me right.
CBRad
@BigPineapple: Well…..they have lives that are probably having way more of an effect on gays, straights, the whole rest of society than you do, so….I’d say they’re being “out” is quite admirable. They might actually have things to lose.
BigPineapple
I call your bluff.
http://youtu.be/2R6jqMysHaA
CBRad
@BigPineapple: Ha ha! Right ! I can’t prove it. In fact I might just be the computer talking back to you. (Oh no! That means I’m not doing anything great for gay rights! I have no effect at all…!! Someone called my bluff!!)
CBRad
@BigPineapple: And I’m not hitting up a single one of your (presumably) dopey links! Queerty should ban links to personal sites and ads.
BigPineapple
right there you just proved exactly why your father is ashamed of you. it’s not because you’re gay, but because you’re such a little wimp about it.
best of luck in life. đ
keep shouting anonymously online. whatever you need to do to distract yourself from reality.
http://youtu.be/2R6jqMysHaA
CBRad
@BigPineapple: Ha ha! I can kick my dopey father’s ass./////How about : I’ll call your bluff – Let’s see if, in your next 50 posts, you can refrain from adding a self-promotion link. No links at all. Just your name and…an email is okay.
MarieDelta
Stephen LGBT youth are much more likely to claim that they are “straight” rather than say that they’re bisexual. This isn’t the 1980s anymore, and they’re not kidding anyone even their parents. I’m a bisexual woman and I identified as different orientations in my life first as lesbian, and then I realized that I’m bisexual. Keep in mind that many LGBT youth who identify as gay or lesbian at first do discover that they’re actually bisexual and come out as bisexual later as adults or later in life.
If you want to get rid of biphobia get rid of cisgender gay white male media whores like Dan Savage, Michael Musto, and Andrew Sullivan who know nothing about bisexuality or human sexuality at all, who are biphobic and practice bisexual erasure towards bisexual men and bisexual youth for decades and still continue to do this. Let’s also not forget how these men are all transphobes too.
Curtis
*Sigh.
Bisexuals..
Curtis
@Stephen: Also,
Dude you are discrediting bisexuality big-time xD
Zach
@Curtis-*Sigh biphobic gay men like yourself.
Kate
Stephen, if you want to curb biphobia and bisexual erasure educate more gay men and lesbians about biphobia.
I’m a bisexual woman and I’ve met way too many biphobic lesbians and gay men.
jason
I think suspicion of bisexual females is justified because it reflects a suspicion of female sexuality in general. We all know that women use their sexuality as a marketing ploy rather than as a means of actually having sex – ie teasing. We all know that women don’t need to be aroused in order to have sex with somebody. We all know that women will sometimes say they are bisexual in order to satisfy the fetishes of a third party male who’s usually straight.
All of the above things contribute to a suspicion of female sexuality in general, a suspicion which is justified in my opinion.
With attitudes to bisexual men, it’s a different kettle of fish. Gay-identifying men are suspicious of bisexual men because bi men don’t fit into the political and segregationist paradigm that the gay male community has become. Bi men can move freely between scenes and are thus not tied to a political identity based on segregation and isolation from the mainstream.
Gay-identifying men may also have a problem with the concept of women. Because some gay men spend a lot of time with men – even non-sexual time – it breeds a certain contempt for anything that is not male. It’s an almost patriarchal contempt reminiscent of the attitude that existed during the 1800’s where the sexes were generally more segregated than they are today. Anyone who associates with the “enemy female” is considered a traitor.