WATCH: Diane Keaton Gets Drunk With Ellen, Talks Tantric Sex And Nine-Hour Orgasms

Don’t expect Diane Keaton to land a role in the upcoming film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey. The legendary actress was on Ellen this morning to promote her new movie, The Big Wedding, and poured herself a glass of wine before talking about the unconventional things the film had her doing. The results will seriously have you ROFLMFAOing.

From the interview:

“Look, I’m Diane and the character that I played was somebody else. So I’m not to be blamed for this. The definition [of tantric sex] is something like when you have tantric sex you go for a long time and you have that thing called the orgasm for nine hours. For nine hours! That’s ridiculous!”

So, of course, Ellen probed her a bit:

“It’s too weird. I’ve got to calm down. The wine is not helping, Ellen. I mean, I think I’ve got to go … I’ve ruined my whole life right now. … I don’t know what I’m talking about …”