While we tend to frame our arguments for straight people’s acceptance of gays around things like love and liberty, it’s sometimes more pragmatic to get the point across a little differently.
This video, sent to the Queerty tipline by Travon Free (one of the of the stand-up comedians in it), explains why straight dudes ought to get wise about the gay community in no-nonsense street talk.
One of Travon’s comic arguments: “Just because there’s a gay guy near you, it doesn’t mean he wants to do you. You know how being gay works, right? He has 5 percent body fat and looks like he belongs in GQ magazine. You’re prematurely balding, 35 pounds overweight, and yelling ‘fag.’ Probably not his type.”
Our personal favorite: “The next time you want to pick on the gay kid, think about who he’s best friends with: the girl you’re trying to f**k. He also knows everything she likes in bed. He basically has the schematics to her vagina. Ball’s in your court.”
How about we take this to the next level?
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Yes, we know—these guys are drawing on old-hat gay stereotypes (all skinny/stylish) and on self-serving situations (being friends with gay dudes gets you more pussy). But, hey, if access to hot fag hag vajayj and six-pack ab envy are reason enough for some straight dudes to be okay with homos, we’ll take it.
The Real Mike in Asheville
Cheers to our allies!
Paul
I’m not sure where this idea of straight guys being any more homophobic than straight girls came from. I’m a gay jock who came out in the 8th Grade at a Christian middle school in suburban Minnesota, and I’m one of the most popular guys in school. No one at my school has ever really had a problem with my liking dudes – and most of my friends are straight guys.
When I post stuff like “DAMN David Beckham’s got a good ass. Thanks for that, underwear-company-I-already-forgot,” on Facebook, I get 5 of my straight guy friends in the comments saying, “Lol, dude. You’re such a perv. 😛 (BTW, it’s “H & M” underwear.)” When me and my first boyfriend made our relationship Facebook-Official, it was a solid mix of straight girls telling us we were adorable and straight guys telling me, “Nice, dude!”
JayKay
@Paul:
It’s a symptom of the leftist social engineering and indoctrination that’s been taking place throughout the west for decades now. Women are the intelligent, compassionate, enlightened gender, while men are boorish oafs who are too blinded by their own “ignorance” and “privilege” to ever possibly treat gays like human beings without having to be shamed and scolded into it.
SteveC
I don’t think straight guys are inherently more homophobic than straight girls.
I think it just reads that way because the physically violent gay bashers tend to be men.
hyhybt
@Paul: You are fortunate.
Isaac C
Stupid and offensive. They are no different than the Rick Santorums of the world.
@Paul: So how is “nice, dude” in any way comparable to “adorable?” Why can’t these straight guys, who you *think* are so accepting of you, tell you your relationship is adorable?
kuy
Well, it’s funny and it’s better than nothing, i guess.
Pazmateo
@Isaac C: Because straight men don’t use words like adorable. Why do you gotta shit on this kids parade? I’m genuinely happy for him. There are others less fortunate, and I think this video is a humorous way to send a gay positive message from straight men, which isn’t a regular thing. Baby steps.
Isaac C
@Pazmateo: “Because straight men don’t use words like adorable.”
If you don’t see the problem with this sentence then I don’t know what to tell you.
They don’t use the word or any words like it because they really are homophobes, fool. That’s the whole point.
randy
There are plenty of straight men who are gorgeous, thin, in shape and know how to dress. There are plenty of gay men who, like me, are prematurely bald, a bit overweight, and are not really into fashion.
So this really doesn’t address anything other than stupid stereotypes. There are many reasons for straight guys to be our allies, but trading on looks is not one of them. If anything, it teaches guys that they can be homophobic if the gay guy is bald.
Basch
@Paul: That’s probably because, in high school context, you’re “cool”. If you were a theater kid, or artsy fartsy, everyone would pick on you because you were those things AND gay. You being a jock and “one of the guys” aside from being gay probably helped your friends come to terms with it better than if you were singing broadway musicals all day long and prepping for the pep rally.
Basch
@Isaac C: Well that’s also generalizing because I don’t use the word adorable either and it’s simply because I just don’t use it for no particular reason; it’s not in my regular vocabulary. I’m sure there are a good amount of guys that don’t say words like that because it would make them seem gay, but there’s also a large percentage of guys, gay and straight, who just don’t talk that way because for dozens of reasons guys and girls have different ways or speaking and different vocabularies. Girls don’t purposely avoid saying “bro” and try not to spit in public lest people will think they are dykes…they just don’t.
Isaac C
@Basch: You sound as though you have internalized homophobia.
LOL
@Isaac C: You are a moron
Isaac C
@LOL: LOL.
Hephaestion
This video doesn’t address the real problem, but I guess it’ll make the 2 straight guys who are willing to watch it think they are cool for watching it.
Zeus
@Isaac C: You sound as though you’re an extremely judgmental and “heterophobic” person if you’re telling me not using the word adorable or other cutesy words makes one homophobic or is a sign of internalized homophobia.
Triple S
@Paul: Yes, well. That’s good, and I’m happy for you, but we can’t all be the jocks of the school. I certainly can’t be as open about it. I’d be made fun of. Actually, that kind of already happens. So be sure not to apply your privileged existence of being so openly gay with a boyfriend and super supportive friends to every other gay out there.
Again, I’m not bagging you or anything, it’s just a bit frustrating that some, like me, don’t have as nice an existence as others, like you. It’s like being lonely and walking through a park with couples (gay or straight) being happy together. It’s a beautiful thing to know, but it only serves to emphasise your own loneliness. Get what I’m saying?
Sarah
@Basch I agree, its not a matter of gay or straight necessarily if you talk a certain way, but of upbringing and environment and general social conditioning of gender roles and behaviours. Of course there are exceptions, I for example deliberately avoid acting or talking in a way that is overtly feminine, sometimes coming off sounding “guyish”, because I want to throw off feminine preconceptions and other pre-assigned attributes that people may assume of me. (Fighting against gender roles ftw). I am straight BTW.
Also since when is a theatre or arts person unpopular? Some of the most popular people at my school were the out going ones that were in all the school and town plays. The people who played instruments were cool because they ended up doing concerts that they all went to. And arts? Well pretty much the only negativity there was friendly envy because of one persons or another skills. One reason I don’t understand Glee’s premise of “loser” musical/theatre person, why is that considered uncool? Being talented and able to do all that stuff is freakin awesome.
hyhybt
@Sarah: Depends on the culture of the area and school… those things *are* awesome, but are often seen as just the opposite.
Often, not always.
Zeus
@Sarah: yeah, I didn’t mean they are something that should be made fun of, just more often than not those kids are.
perdeep
Welp, this video opened with a joke that basically said homophobia can’t be a choice because a dumb blonde broad thinks it is, so I cut my losses and stopped watching. If it does change some homophobic straight guys’ minds, then well done, and I’m glad. But let’s not pretend it’s not still completely offensive.
Ben
LOVE it, it’s going straight in my YouTube favourites! 🙂