REAL TALK

WATCH: Four Dudes Explain Why Straight Guys Should Embrace The Gay Community

While we tend to frame our arguments for straight people’s acceptance of gays around things like love and liberty, it’s sometimes more pragmatic to get the point across a little differently.

This video, sent to the Queerty tipline by Travon Free (one of the of the stand-up comedians in it), explains why straight dudes ought to get wise about the gay community in no-nonsense street talk.

One of Travon’s comic arguments: “Just because there’s a gay guy near you, it doesn’t mean he wants to do you. You know how being gay works, right? He has 5 percent body fat and looks like he belongs in GQ magazine. You’re prematurely balding, 35 pounds overweight, and yelling ‘fag.’ Probably not his type.”

Our personal favorite: “The next time you want to pick on the gay kid, think about who he’s best friends with: the girl you’re trying to f**k. He also knows everything she likes in bed. He basically has the schematics to her vagina. Ball’s in your court.”

Yes, we know—these guys are drawing on old-hat gay stereotypes (all skinny/stylish) and on self-serving situations (being friends with gay dudes gets you more pussy). But, hey, if access to hot fag hag vajayj and six-pack ab envy are reason enough for some straight dudes to be okay with homos, we’ll take it.