Imagining what you’d say to your younger self always has the potential to be deeply impactful. But for LGBTQ elders looking back, there’s not only personal growth to factor in but also all the ways in which the world has changed so drastically for gay people over the decades.
Davey Wavey teamed up with the LGBT Community Center of the Desert in Palm Springs, CA to film gay elders reading letters to their younger selves. The result is yet another reminder of how much today’s younger generation of queer folks stands to gain from listening to the older generation.
Watch below:
Kangol
Really positive, thoughtful and moving advice from these elders to their younger selves and to the new LGBTQ generations coming out today and in the future.
GayEGO
Great comments! I am almost 77, living with my lifetime partner of 56 years, husband for 14 years, and we are both retired and living the American dream! I am originally from Boise, Idaho and remember “The Fall of ’55” when they sent gays to prison. We have come a long way baby!
buzzy58
God I wish I could get a letter to my younger self. There is SO much I missed out on because of “fear.”
dmhandy
I wish I could have sent a letter to myself when I was 18 years. Just to assure myself that I was a good person and I would not be alone in this walk.
lambchopp59
Some might consider my comments here a bit grisly, so be forewarned.
Dear my 14 year old self:
You have 2 choices. Either never tell your friend that you think you trust that when you grow up you want to marry another man and live closeted and lie, lie, lie… or
Get the fuck out of that town now and save yourself 2 years of hell.
It’s not going to be easy for a while, but at 16 you’re going to be figuring out much of this the hard way. I’m going to detail to you below where to go, exactly who to talk to, a secret place to sleep, a place to shower how to get around your destination and where to grab some groceries to get you through.
Your parents are not only going to get much, much worse about all that fighting and turn much of that anger onto you when they find out you’re not what they wanted you to be. You already know they are racist assholes, and they will become equally homophobic and disown you. Your father is a dangerous murderer who will try to kill you. Get away now. Forget the dog, the food in the refrigerator and the neglect that happened at the pharmacy recently, all that considered, just get away from them. Now.
If you don’t get away you’ll have much difficulty in many of your near future relationships as you sort out your self esteem issues. You have 10 times the integrity your parents started out with, and they will give you nothing, no regard, no help and cut you out of all potential inheritances. Don’t ever look back, or feel obligated to help them in their declining years, you’ll be very, very sorry you did. Let them self destruct.
And I will detail to you how to get a much better start, since I can see retrospectively.
Pack that big pack frame full of camping and survival gear. You’ll have a little cooling off time at a desert area you’ll need some gear to get by. And a few other items that turned out to be good plans when you’re going to do this in 2 years anyway.
Had I been able to write a detailed letter to my 14 year old self, I’d be in far better shape psychologically, physically and financially now.