Not a lot for Christmas

WATCH: Mariah Carey gives Meryl Streep a run for her money in “Keys of Christmas”


Apparently YouTube is making a holiday special with Mariah Carey? Okay, sure, why the hell not. We’re also looking forward to Yahoo’s Easter special starring Bernadette Peters, the Fourth of July spectacular from starring Harvey Fierstein, and A Very Thanksgiving with Gabe Kaplan.

Anyway, in the special, Mariah plays an angel who bakes cookies with a perfect manicure and while covered in glitter, which seems inadvisable, and advises a Christmas twerp to listen to his heart or whatever people do at Christmas. Mike Tyson is reportedly in the special as well. Again, as we said, why the hell not.

A new clip (below), posted to a Mariah fan channel (for as long as it lasts until YouTube takes it down) highlights Mariah’s acting/cleavage, as well as her hairstylist’s ability to make hair do that weird spiral thing. There is also a lot of “witty” banter, but if you like watching famous people talk, then boy oh boy, you sure will see famous people talking.

Eventually she orders the Christmas twerp to walk into a refrigerator, so let’s assume he either dies or has to be resuscitated by Punky Brewster.

Later, after he presumably died in the refrigerator, the twerp runs into Mariah and DJ Khaled and they spend a little more time talking in a way that says, “whoops, we forgot to write a script, but maybe we can just kill some time by saying words.” And then they do.

Happy birthday, Jesus.