You can’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his jockstrap. One guy has gone viral after doing just that, in a manner of speaking.
Andy is a marketing consultant from Philadelphia and self-described top who woke up on a recent business trip feeling… different.
He took to Twitter to share his story:
“When I woke up this morning, something just hit different, or rather I wanted to be hit different.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
“So I made a bold and daring move, and after eating an omelette with a lot of cheese for brunch, decided that I wanted to bottom.”
As he goes on to explain, he went to great lengths to prepare for the encounter.
“I was also considerate and lit a candle, and I was also considerate and made my f**king bed which I never do, and laid out a towel which I never do because I’m not a very considerate person, and all of a sudden wanting to bottom makes me nice.”
And wouldn’t you know it, the guy bailed last-minute.
“I’m going to run for public office and I’m going to make this s**t illegal,” he said.
Andy’s story clearly struck a chord — his video has nearly 30K likes and over 5K reshares:
I tried to bottom today. This is my story. pic.twitter.com/em64tA8uzG
— “Top Guy” FloralAndy (@FloralAndy) February 24, 2020
Has this happened to you?
ShiningSex
stop with the spam to trashy sites
Cam
Maybe a better title.
Bottom finally decides to admit he’s a Bottom.
G-Man
This dude is annoying and I’m pretty sure he isn’t a top.
dinard38
@Cam LOL!!!!!! Right!!!! 🙂
turrethouse
Don’t think this guy is a top
Hussain-TheCanadian
Top, bottom, who cares, it’s a sex position, that’s it, enjoy it.
Miles Crown
Insufferable dude. Bet his parents hang on his every word.
Joshooeerr
Agreed. Even if this is supposed to be funny, he’s an utter douche. It’s hard to understand why Queerty thinks it worthy of attention.
Barefootboyz
What a disgusting waste of oxygen he is. Entitled young people today who have never had to fight for shit in their lives. I’m 55 Marine vet with a partner for 26 years. You will be lonely forever.
nm4047
who the f cares if he’s a top or a bottom, classic drama queen.
Prax07
No way is that kid a top.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Clearly his issues also have issues…..
khan72
You are NOT Jim CARREY
MrMichaelJ
Can we just cut the bull here? The way you can figure out if you’re a top or a bottom is if you which side of the guy you want to eat out. Sorry but there isn’t really an “in between” – most of the time “versatile” means “I’ll f*ck you if you won’t f*ck me.”
evanxx
Kids are silly! _ He needs a rough daddy to teach him how to do both.
CityguyUSA
It’s a shame he has to find someone that he has no connection to in order to scratch his itch which if done poorly will never ever get scratched and leave him feeling empty and most likely sore. A much better world would be one where gay men were not so terrified of missing out on their trophy partner that they could actually commit to someone and not need to cheat 2 days later because they think they found that trophy except 2 days later Mr. Perfect is now cheating on them.
Hdtex
Can’t imagine why his date canceled. This messy queen will die alone.
PollyDarton
Cringe-inducing bottom.
J_SF
Sorry, not “mostly a top” at all
Obring
And this is news because??????? The reason evades me….
Man About Town
Exactly! This brings new meaning to the phrase “Slow News Day”
Kieran
Is this Elizabeth Warren’s son?
mz.sam
Good Lord! I appears that after this twit ate breakfast he was stricken with diarrhea of the mouth. His solution to his revelation is not to bottom but a major colonic enema with Liquid Plumber.