President of the Gay Officers Action League Detective Carl Locke, LGBT liaison Detective Tim Duffy and other openly gay members of the New York Police Department share their coming out stories in this “It Gets Better” video.
“No one should have to suffer for being who they are, ” says Police Commissioner Ray Kelly. “We want you to know that we’re heRe to help.”
viveutvivas
Well, it doesn’t really get better, does it? They should stop setting people up for a hard fall. The mythical welcoming gay community does not exist, at least not any more, and there are more lonely and depressed gay adults than there are youths.
LandStander
@viveutvivas: Doesn’t really get better? Than in high school? Really? Maybe not for you, and if that is the case I am sorry. However, myself along with countless others have found that life really does get better for LGB people after high school.
It is not about a “mythical welcoming gay community”. It is about being able to choose who you associate with. Being able to move out of your parents house, and out of your homophobic hick town. Having more control over your life and direction as a legal adult. Homophobic jerk-bags appearing only once in a while, instead of every day in class.
Also, I very very very strongly disagree with you that there are more depressed gay adults than youths 🙂
It really does get better (for most people)
viveutvivas
If it really gets better, then why is every second gay adult I meet (or likely even more than that) on antidepressants?
viveutvivas
I have a research paper open in front of me finding that about 40% of adult gay men in California meet the criteria of at least one psychiatric disorder (including major depression, anxiety disorder, alcohol or drug dependence), about twice the incidence of roughly 20% in the heterosexual population.
So for almost half of gay men, arguably it doesn’t get much better at all.
But the whole “It gets better” message bothers me a lot – basically, it sounds like they are saying, hey kids, put your life on hold now and just hold your breath until you get our of school and then everything will be butterflies and rainbows. The focus should be on improving conditions for the kids NOW, in the schools where they are, not to salve our consciences with a few sappy videos while letting the rot continue in the classrooms.
LandStander
@viveutvivas:
According to the CDC, antidepressant use is highest among middle-aged women (23% of women aged 40 – 59). While depression can be a serious health risk for some gay people, most lead happy, healthy lives.
At any rate, saying that there are a lot of depressed gay adults because half of the gay adults you meet are depressed is like saying “Most cats have behavioral problems, because half of the cats I have met have scratched me.”
If over half of the gay adults you meet are on antidepressants, maybe you should look somewhere else to meet people, or look inside yourself to find out why you are drawn to depressed people.
LandStander
@viveutvivas: And what percent of ALL adults, gay and straight, “meet the criteria of at least one psychiatric disorder” ? The Pharmaceutical industry says everyone who has ever felt sad in their life “has a psychiatric disorder”.
viveutvivas
As I quoted above, about 20% of straight men, as opposed to about 40% of gay men.
LandStander
@viveutvivas: I think you missed my point, but I guess I could have worded it better.
Studies done to assess the mental health of the populace (usually paid for by drug companies themselves) purposefully ask general questions that most people would say yes to. Many of these questions are something like “Do you ever feel rejected by your peers?” Of course gay adults are more likely to answer yes to this question. But feeling rejected by your peers sometimes does not indicate a mental health problem, or depression. In fact, I would argue that gay adults are, on average, better able to deal with rejection and loss and avoid depression because they are more likely to have dealt with it before (often times right upon coming out).
You should always be exceptionally wary of any studies that assess mental health. I’m sure you’ve seen the commercials…. “Do you sometimes feel sad? Do you lose interest in things? Are you breathing? You might be depressed!”