WATCH: Rod Stewart Debunks Old Gay “Stomach Full Of Semen” Rumor

For decades, snotty elementary-school kids have whispered about how veteran rocker Rod Stewart was such a hedonist back in the day that he had to be rushed to the hospital and have his stomach pumped because he had ingested a gallon full of semen after a night with a group of sailors.

We realized this particular tale was fictional as soon as we figured out how much spunk the average guy delivers, but Stewart felt obligated to address the old canard on Katie Couric’s new talk show, Katie.

Stewart, who boasts he’s “as heterosexual as they come, blames the rumor on a vengeful old employee : “I used to have this guy work for me, he was a gay publicist… I had to fire him because he did something terrible, which I won’t go into. He wanted revenge so he started this rumor about me, and it was horrible because my kids were at school. So that is definitely not true.”

We know we’ll rest easier at night.