All he wanted was a spot of sunshine. But “They” wouldn’t let him have a spot of sunshine. So he did what any of us would do if we were insane.

Yesterday, an uppity young man — possibly in an altered state, definitely in some sort of Speedo-type thing, and totally possessing nothing in the way of a ticket — stormed a Windham cruise-ship in Queensland, Australia, demanding to be taken up to the deck to sunbathe.

When baffled staffers refused, he pushed one of them against the railing and ran up to the deck, leading those present to take shelter and lock themselves inside the boat.

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That’s when this scantily-clad young man began throwing things off the ship — a vacuum cleaner, a marine radio — until he was wrestled to the ground by police.

The unnamed culprit is unfazed by the aftermath, which included a night in jail and, after pleading guilty, a $1,500 fine after pleading guilty and a $600 fine to cover the cost of the damaged property.

We first caught wind of the story through OMG Blog, but 9 Gold Coast first reported the tawdry tale.

“I think it’s beautiful,” he tells a reporter in the following clip, after being asked if he’s embarrassed. “The sun is out and there’s no clouds around and I enjoy the Gold Coast.”

(He should at least be upset the clip says he’s wearing “leopard-print underwear.” In what distant solar system is that leopard-print?)

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“It would be nice for him to come down and apologize so we can all move on,” says one staffer.

But that’s evidently not going to happen. Instead, the 27-year-old is determined to enjoy the remainder of his holiday.

“No, I’m shopping, actually,” he says, blowing the reporter an air-kiss: “Myah!”

We wonder if he knows this fellow Aussie party animal. We certainly hope so.

Watch below (you may need to click the speaker icon for the sound to come on):

VIDEO

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