WATCH: The GOP Candidates All Try To Drink Rick Perry’s Milkshake

The totally not gay Rick Perry has become the man to beat in the Republican primary as he has already trounced the former frontrunner Michele Bachmann (aka the Wicked Witch of the Midwest). So all the other candidates spent their time at last night’s Tea Party debate trying to ‘take the polish off of Perry’s boots.’ Let the shoot-out begin!

Thankfully, Talking Points Memo made a 100-second video of the entire cannibalistic affair to spare you some indignity. Excluded from the video: the pandering bit where each GOP says what they would bring to the White House and the the audience cheering the idea of a 30-year-old without medical insurance dying. Oh America, you bitch.