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WATCH: “The Ultimate Anti-Gay Marriage Ad”

As is common knowledge, gay marriage will trigger the end of civilization as we know it. If the Westboro Baptist Church and Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI say so, it must be true, right?

Thankfully, the Coalition of People Whose Lives Are Ruined Whenever Other People Are Treated Equally recognizes that and churned out this completely serious and not at all satirical ad — the best part of which is when little What’s-Her-Face asks her (pretty hot) daddy if he and mommy will still love her if the gays are allowed to marry.

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that….”

Throw an Oscar in that little girl’s face just for the shifty eyes she’s giving.