SHAKE WAIT

WATCH: Why You Don’t Want Anderson Cooper Giving You A “Hand”

Andy Cohen‘s Watch What Happens Live Exclamation Point was surprisingly not so self-centered last night. Cohen pitted Camille Grammer and Anderson Cooper against each another in a quiz segment. Here’s what we learned about the Coop:

1. He was destined to become family. In 1976, Gloria Vanderbilt dressed 9-year-old Anderson in bitchin’ yellow riding pants and stripper-worthy knee-length leather boots. Girlfriend looked fierce.

2. His mom wrote cheesy romance novels. Cohen embarrassed Cooper by reading off a particularly treacly sentence: “You carried me naked to the center of the fountain shell, placing me precisely where the water, warmed by the sun, would trickle down between my legs, finding the spot to please.” Gag!

3. He gives terrible handjobs. See his reluctant shake-weight session at the 3:20 mark.

 

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24 Comments

  • WillBFair

    Don’t you ever again say one word against the silver fox. He’s got it all: the biceps, the handsome mug, and the girlish giggle. And anyway, hand jobs are so ten minutes ago.

  • Mrs. Robinson

    Lordy. He looks about a hundred years old in those glasses and tennis shoes.

  • Austin - not That Austin

    I saw the show, and for someone in the public eye,
    and obviously the center of so much attention,
    he was suprisingly awkward in his interpersonal reactions.
    I guess he’s more comfortable hiding behind asking the questions,
    than being “on the spot” to come up with answers.

  • Mike

    @Austin – not That Austin: Which is why I watched his daytime talk show for two episodes and switched back to “The Talk.” When Julie Chen looks more relatable, something’s wrong, honey boo boo.

  • Jim

    Did he just say the photo was taken in 1890?

  • Zee

    Anderson probably knew that he used the shake weight the way it was supposed to be used, it would be all over the internet with salacious jokes about him jerking off or giving a hand job. He may have deliberately held back. Anderson has said many times himself that he’s socially awkward, I actually think that’s part of his appeal.

  • Jennifer

    Anderson is so likable, I’m a huge fan.
    Also, anybody who posts here about his sexuality (I know people eventually will) needs to back off. He’s a journalist who goes on location to places around the world where being gay is punishable by death. Rachel Maddow doesn’t do that, so don’t compare her to him. Anderson can’t publicly comment on it. Otherwise, certain governments probably wouldn’t even let him into their country to report.

  • Zeus

    He is less attractive than I thought he was.

  • David Ehrenstein

    @Jennifer: You mean other governments don’t have cable? In what alternate universe?

  • Kurt

    He’s a total closet queen, he doesn’t deserve our respect or admiration at all.

  • ChrisC

    @Jennifer: Not to mentiona that in addition that Rachel Maddow doesn’t go overseas, look at all the shit she does get for being openly Gay. Anderson is making the right move.

  • Derek

    Wasn’t Anderson Cooper a journalist once?

  • Alan Brickman

    Glass Closet Cases don’t age well…..

  • christopher di spirito

    Anderson Cooper looks older than his 100 year old “mummy”, Gloria Vanderbilt.

  • Chuck

    Anderson really missed his moment where coming out would have meant anything. I just find him tedious now.

  • JoeyO'H

    @WillBFair:

    Handjobs are ten minutes ago because that’s about what they take.

  • ewe

    @Chuck: He is out. Just because he doesn’t say the word to strangers and satisfy your quirky demands doesn’t justify your hatred. Btw: how does it feel to be on the receiving end of your own medicine?

  • ron

    Andy Cohen’s Clubhouse reminds me so much of the old Robin Byrd Show.

  • Brian

    Oh Andy….Andy….Andy….just come out already! Surely admitting you’re gay couldn’t be half as bad as announcing you are addicted to My Super sweet 16 and toddlers & Tiaras……and yet you admitted that on live television a few years ago!

  • Joe Ciccone

    Andy’s openly gay, Brian. You funny!

  • Esculapio Mitiríades Torquemada de la Cueva

    @Joe Ciccone: He meant “Andy” as in Andersonn Cooper, i.e., the guy who talked about liking My Super Sweet 16 and Toddlers & Tiaras. *You* funny?

  • Joe Ciccone

    Ha ha ha. I’m a moron, Esculapio Mitiríades Torquemada de la Cueva. You’re right. Doh!

  • Razzmatazz

    At the end of the day, Anderson has the right to live the life he wants. And if he wants to shout out “I’m a homosexual!”, from the mountaintops, let him. And if not…let him.

    This man has no obligation to make himself some outspoken martyr for the gay community. He doesn’t deserve all of this venom.

Comments are closed.