We all know what life is like on The Hill for Rep. Jared Polis: Beer funnels and coming out stories. But what’s life like for his partner Marlon Reis, the writer and animal rights activist? First and foremost, he’s learned to be flexible. But also, to always have his ID on him. Reis writes:
To be a congressional spouse, one must be, above all else, flexible. So I was told when I arrived in D.C. 10 months ago. At the time of my introduction, I was something of a novelty among the spouses. At 28 years old, I was one of the youngest spouses in the U.S. Congress. Jared is the second-youngest congressman. Almost immediately, I was mistaken for a staff aide; then again, for a son designated to attend in place of a spouse. More times than I care to remember, I was told, “But you’re so young!”
Rarely has anyone seen me for what I actually am. I don my “Congressional Spouse” lapel pin proudly and hope each time not to be questioned, yet I still receive sideways glances and orders to produce an official ID. It is as if my story is too unbelievable to be true, that I am an interloper, someone in a place I do not belong.
Perhaps this has to do with my being the partner of the first openly gay man to win a seat as a nonincumbent. I have noticed among those I meet a tincture of incredulity; a reluctance to accept that which has not been seen before.
[…] Each time we encounter injustice is an opportunity to be uncompromising, to prove a point, to not back down, but to pave the way. When, on the basis of our same-sex relationship, the military attempted to bar me from accompanying Jared on a congressional delegation to Seattle, we fought and I triumphantly took my seat alongside the other spouses.
When I was told by Member Services that my lost ID should never have read “spouse,” that the government recognizes me only as a “designee,” I prepared to fight — but then found the original card. Doubtless, these are but the opening acts of a years-long play about justice and the steady march of progress. For this, and for all we have to look forward to, I thank our constituents for the chance to change the world.
And what’s personal time like?
We take time, when we have it, to enjoy dinners together, to play video games, to walk our new puppy and to celebrate life’s happy moments. Like any couple working to make things right, we check in with each other to be sure it all hasn’t gotten to be too much.
Jon B
I would have thrown a tantrum if the military wouldn’t let me on the plane like all the rest of the wives. Cute couple.
AlanInUtah
Well, he sounds like a nice and level headed person that would be a wonderful addition to the spouses table. I’m sure he’d be a good conversationalist as well. I’m glad there is someone like him stirring things up. Go girl! 🙂
I’d personally love to be at one of these events and give all the on lookers something not to just gawk at, but to really make them question the order of all that is good and right. 🙂
Stitch
Keep fighting the battles. Your determination is a heck of a lot more visible than the average guy’s, and it will go a long way toward humanizing gays in the halls of congress. Thank you for being brave enough to do what you do.
RobinNYC
Snaps for the phrase ‘tincture of incredulity.’ I’m going to try to use it casually today!
Distingué Traces
Great.
Jared Polis is three years younger than me.
I am older than a Congressman.
I am old.
Steve
One of the most effective ways to change a congressman’s opinion on any issue is to change his wife’s opinion on that issue. Like most straight men, straight congress men have learned to say, “Yes, dear.”
ChristopherJ
Wow…. so inspiring!
nikko
What is their age difference cause Jared looks like his Sugar Daddy in this one!
Distingué Traces
He’s 28, Polis is 34.
Le scandale!!
steve
I’m glad to see Mr. Reis standing up for equality and proudly being out in a world rarely visible by most of us. I can only image what courage he musters prior to each event. Unfortunately, paving the way seems a bit overstated. I think the proud spouse of Rep. Gunderson and who also wore his lapel pin to function after function might have something to say about that. We must always respect those that came before us as we march in their footsteps. And perhpas Rep. Frank’s other half might also like to be considered.
Tylertime
he is 34?!??!! someone needs to start moisturizing pronto!
Charles Merrill
Being treated like an outsider by the status quo makes a strong individual. Congratulations to those for fighting the good fight.