Bachelor and bachelorette parties go one of two ways: very well or absolutely shit-faced. Were any of you ladies and gents able to attend an impromptu pre-wedding celebration with some decorum or debauchery? We want the good, the bad, and the oh my God, set it on fire and send it to Hell!!
Our New York bachelor party was relatively tame. After some Korean barbecue washed down with beers, we got the groom onstage at a burlesque show where the hosts asked him to fake an orgasm. The groom, not being much for publicly faking orgasms, began emitting a high-pitched scream that raised many a hackle and shriveled many a boner upon hearing. Then the host asked whether he was imitating a male or a female orgasm and our friend looked somewhat embarrassed. The embarrassment waned however as the show went on and we saw one performer remove an entire rainbow-colored feather boa from her… um, lady area. She also pooped out a golden egg for the grand finale.
Art!
Hal Shipman
My straight brother was with us for our “bachelor” party (another of those where we’d been together for years before – really, we were just taking our out of town visitors out). At a bar with strippers, he slipped the g-stringed dancer a 20 to embarrass me. Drunk as I was, I figured out what was going on right away and whispered something to the dancer who immediately turned his charms on to my brother instead. I wish to God I could remember how I did it and what I said, but it was awesome.