Too Soon?

We’re Worried, People: Did Rick Scarborough Stick To His Guns And Set Himself On Fire?

Not to scatter rain clouds on  everyone’s parade, but while slugging down flutes of pink champagne and hurdling fistfuls of confetti in the air, a troubling thought occurred to us: Have any of you heard from Rick Scarborough?

As we reported Wednesday, the pastor promised — we’re imagining on a stack of bibles — to set himself on fire should American homosexuals win the right to marry.


It’s been several hours since the announcement was made, and yet we haven’t heard a peep (or sky-piercing death rattle) out of him. (Even Wikipedia is on Christian Deathwatch today.)  If any of you live near Texas, could you pop ‘round the pastor’s pad and let us know if you find his charred husk chillaxin’ on the front stoop?

Related: Rick Scarborough Breaks New Ground in “Christian” Guilt

Please exercise caution: the 65-year-old opined that “the preachers need to get out front, the leaders need to get out front, out front of these ordinary citizens and say, ‘Shoot me first.’” You may find yourself trapped in a hail of gunfire, so dress accordingly. Vigilance is key.

If he does happen to set his pants on fire today, it could be another landmark event: The first time a Christian fundamentalist practiced what they preached.