We’ve been following the Mark Foley scandal like would-be porn stars follow Michael Lucas. No matter how many opinions, facts, and testimonies come our way, we couldn’t stop wondering: what do Jacob and Joshua, the Jehovah’s Witness fag pop-star twins from Logo’s Nemesis: Rising, think about this whole mess?
Our anguish knew no bounds: we couldn’t eat, we couldn’t sleep. We couldn’t even masturbate! What’s more, The Golden Girls no longer made us laugh! We feared there’d be no escape from our nightmarish existence.
Luckily, those white knights over at Radar came to our rescue:
RADAR: So what do you think of Mark Foley?
JACOB: Nightmare! What a shame that a gay man gets thrust into the spotlight because he’s trying to molest children. That’s terrible PR.
JOSH: It’s like he just came out to try to, I don’t know, to injure the Democratic Party or something…. Jacob, why are you rolling your eyes at me right now?
JACOB: Stop talking.
JOSH: It’s like you’re so overwhelmed that I would be talking at all.
JACOB: He has no idea what he’s saying. God, just sit there and be quiet.
Obviously, Jacob’s the wiser of the brothers.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Now, let’s see what Dorothy and the posse are up to…
FizziekruntNT
Why is it that whenever I see or hear these two, I am suddenly reminded of the ancient cartoon of the two bickering crows, just A WHOLE LOT GAYER?
Matt
Someone needs to tell that poor girl that Foley was a Republican. Not that it matters, both sides are crooked as hell.
Poodle
Doh!
They have nice bodies, but that fake tan and long hair makes them look awful. Lose the glasses too while you’re at. Clearly they should just stop talking, and so will I.
jack e. jett
it is good that at least they knew that foley was in government and not a clothing designer.
these comment will certainly make them a shoe in for the
HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN FUND LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD.
on the other hand, this could be a ANNA NICOLE PR move.
jack e. jett
Brandon
Heckle & Jeckel!
Bryan
“JOSH: At that time, I was still praying to God to forgive me for masturbating. I told him I was going to take him to the elders and have him disfellowshipped.”
What scandal!!!!!
FizziekruntNT
JACOB: “Josh! Did you just squeeb?”
JOSH: “What?”
JACOB: “I DISTINCTLY heard a popcorn fart coming from your general direction”
JOSH: “I DID NOT!”
JACOB: “Yes, you did. I KNOW you did. You’ve been squeebing in your underpants for years. You were doing it in the fetid womb I had to share with you for nine tortuous months!:
JOSH: “Waaaah!”
JACOB: “Oh, enough histrionics. We have to perform this afternoon and I can’t have you looking like a frog, all swollen eyed and green.”
JOSH: “Your hair is green. I TOLD you to stay out of that pool.”
JACOB: “MY HAIR IS NOT GREEN! IT’S PLATINUM!”
JOSH: “Yeah, with green highlights. I TOLD you that I should have been the blond.”
JACOB: “mmmHmmm. So are you going to change underpants?”
JOSH: “I DID NOT SQUEEB IN MY PANTIES! WAAAAH! Do I look fat in this”
…next week on Nemesis: Rising:
JACOB: “Is that spinach in your teeth?”
Spiffy
Good one, Fizzie! 🙂
FizziekruntNT
Thank you, Spiffy. I’m here all week 😉
And thanks to Brandon for remembering the dusty old crows’ names!
ANDREW BELONSKY: “Get your own damned blog, biatch.”
FizziekruntNT: “Bu-bu-but!!”
Kevin
It’s amazing that all you people jump Josh and Jacob for saying some stuff but are silent when more idiotic or harmful things are said.