What Happens When Obama Replaces Justice John Paul Stevens With Ellen DeGeneres

Basketball star Mo Rocca broke the news earlier today: “John Paul Stevens retiring. Obama to appoint Ellen as newest judge.” And what will the Supreme Court look like once she gets past her Senate confirmation hearings?

• “I gotta dissent from the other judges. Your case is amazing, just terrific”
• “I’m so impressed by this docket. Tort Reform, Campaign Finance, Redistricting. Ur all great issues”
• “Try to find some loopholes in the law. Shake things up a bit. Be less predictible.”
• “I would’ve chosen a different stand on Torture. But you look great”