Age can be an especially touchy subject for anyone, but it seems even more divisive in the gay community. Youth is perceived as attractive but ungrounded, and age is conversely seen as established but unsexy.
Of course, anyone with a good head on their shoulders can attest to the fact that those stereotypes are just as easily shattered as they are fulfilled.
Related: Gay Party Group Accused Of Age Discrimination For Only Charging The Over-40 Crowd
But how do you really feel about age?
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Related: Don’t Mind The (Age) Gap: Seven High Profile May/December Gay Relationships And How They Worked Out
Here’s a candid look at guys’ views on the ticking clock. As one interviewee puts it, “I would like that person to bring home for Christmas and Thanksgiving, and I would also like to bang twinks on the side.” Points for honesty if nothing else.
Watch below:
Bradley Engeldinger
I personally don’t find guys really young attractive, late 20’s + now that’s hot
Xzamilio
I want the older ones… especially judging by the picture you provided. Look at that body…those thighs… good googly moogly.
James Owen Donnahoe
Good stuff.
Joe Eugene
Some youngsters are cute like puppies; similarly you just know if you bring them home they’re going to pee on the carpet and chew your shoes. Better to let them grow up a little first.
Guy Caspary
Can we get something more insightful please? Beyond sound bites and cliches?
Paul Lec
Arthur 😉
Scott Redner
Dating a younger guy is like driving a convertible, it’s fun at first but then you realize your hair is a mess, your sunburnt and everyone assumes you’ve rented it….
Dustin Lee
That was a PSA for Daddy/Son relationships. It made minuscule mention of what the generations think about each other… Snore!!!
Sebizzar
I always swoon for older guys like the one in the pic, but they always seem to just go for other “daddys” :/ Only 1 older guy, who looks like that, told me he would date me. If he was single. And lived in the same country as me -.- Just my luck.
Bill Crossfield
not me i like older and am older7
Rob Laughlin
They are good for sex, but even 10 years younger is a generation gap. Factor in emotional maturity and it’s a headache.
Brandon Evans
This was very interesting. and in some ways i think things are true, but others honestly depends on the guy your interested in. I’m drawn to older guys, i feel a stronger personality connect with them..and guys my age (mid 20’s) too much drama
Nick Bliesner
My soon to be husband and I are 21 years apart. I don’t think this article speaks for all relationships with age gaps. We never tire of each other nor do we get bored of one another. In fact, we learn from each other daily. I definitely think it is a topic worth exploring more, but can we please get beyond the stereotypes and cliches?
Vincent Linke
Check this out Ricky Martinez.
Moises Naranjo
I’m in the middle and I like them both ð??ð??ð?»ð??ð?»ð??ð?» #28
Enron
Older guy on the left any day.
lauraspencer
It should be called what 10 gay New Yorkers think about age differences. Not a very broad sampling.
It was difficult to tell who was supposed to be young and who was older in the video. Several of the “young” guys looked 10 years older than they actually are. Moisturize boys! Moisturize!
Kyle Lung
Ronnie
Matthew Farris
Your choice of photo to illustrate “older” pretty much says it all.
Ives Meagher
Has it changed from decades past? Zzzzzzzzz
lauraspencer
@Matthew Farris:
LOL!! I agree. That guy is probably 37 at the most.
Glücklich
To me, it isn’t about the man being *older* as much as it is about maturity, knowledge, stability and experience. I am certain my ease with an age gap has everything to do with being an only child growing up in a neighborhood with no kids close to my own age. I was socialized to be around adults so I’ve always felt more comfortable with them and that carried over to dating and eventually marriage.
Further, I’ve been lucky and have WORKED. REALLY. HARD. on the career front enabling me to keep things nice and even or in my favor as far as paying (partly because I love saying “It’s my pleasure. You can pay me back in trade.”) Work also reinforced that adult socialization because I skipped the typical retail or food service step and went right into corporate with the grown-ups.
Physically I want a grown-ass man, not a little boy. Grown-ass man-sized arms and legs, hairy, broad-framed. By the time I’ve decided to set my cap at a certain man, receding hairlines or slightly soft middles are of no concern to me.
So EFF YEAH older guys!
Ryan Bejma
I’ve always found older men more attentive and caring. They also kniw how to read emotions better than younger men. Their bedtime skills are also top notch. (^ã?¼^)
Mack
I’ve got to say, my ex of 9 years was 25 years younger than I. We had many similar likes and dislikes. We both worked and made equal amount of money. Our biggest problems started when his parents had to move in with us because they had lost their house in the financial collapse. His mother wanted to run our house and tell me what to do. Unfortunately my other half didn’t have the balls to stand up to her. I left.
Scotty O. Curtis
Good god I’m so fucking glad I’m married
Ian Longstreet
I like guys my age and guys who are older. Personality speaks volumes. Age is a number.
Bob Murphy
This video is exactly what 15 minutes at Sidetracks equates to
notevenwrong
That “older” guy on the left anytime – his yummy legs are bigger than the poor little twinks’ torsos.
princedeligne
I think age can be an issue- to say or suggest that it isn’t an issue is rather naive. While, there are some “younger – older” relationships, I think they are still uncommon. For me, five to ten years (a ten year difference in either direction is significant) is the rule of thumb. I just don’t think you have much in common beyond ten years. You’re at a different place in life, be it career, interests, life goals etc…
Urban gay male culture & iconography is still and will always be youth oriented. Not too many older guys in porn. Never will be and I’m totally OK with that.
Glücklich
@Nick Bliesner:
Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials!
Dwayne Morson
I think age is just a number I am 33 my partner is 44. I always date older guys. Younger guys do nothing for me. Even though I get him on them all the time.
Chris
Being in the set of older men, when I’m asked to think about younger gay men, I think of people who:
are unencumbered by my failures yet are also uneducated about the things I learned from those failures;
assume as a platform those things that older folk created yet still have to create those accomplishments that the next generation(s) of gay men will take as given;
can move with the speed, willowy grace and strength of youth yet are abusing their bodies for when they get older by things like sprained knees, concussions caused by contact sports, substance abuse, hearing loss caused by over-loud music and other things we did when nothing could hurt us and we, too, were immortal;
have futures full of promise that will become individualized novels, symphonies, and other works of art based on their choices and the simple passage of time.
I see potential set in its own context of challenge; and I wish I could live long enough to see their accomplishments. But I have optimism that most young gay men will live the sorts of lives we could never imagine; yet confront the ageless questions and problems of who we are and how we make it through this existence we call a life. And I wish them the best.
Sweetie Pie
I would not touch the blond guy with a bad sunburn nor the bearded one…not even with a 10-feet pole…and I would not date anybody under 35…and if I do he’ll have to be financially independent, be able to hold a decent conversation about current issues and look like a guy
Sorry, twinks…
James Sigmon
So not into dating someone under 30 not a good look avd people look at you and say really. I see dating a 25 you pay for and nothing in common to talk about. If the older person did not come with cash they would not five you a 2ed look.
Giancarlo85
I’m into guys in my own age range. Just more in common. I’ll keep it simple.
Giancarlo85
@Sweetie Pie: Not all older men are financially independent nor financially stable (check some of those who post on here). I really wonder who would date you… seems like you’re after a sugar daddy.
Kian Aoki
Well, if the older guys really believe that they are the gifts from upstairs, why aren’t they dating each other? #ijs I don’t mind guys few years older, but if you’re old enough to be my dad, or granddad, it’s gonna be awkward in bed… ð?µâ??ï¸
stranded
@Giancarlo85: I agree, I just turned 30 and I’ve dated guys older(42) and recently dated guys younger (22/24) and though there are aspects of each I like. Things couldn’t last long with either group, not enough of a shared history which is important because with guys my own age, that shared history kind of leads to endless conversations and intimacy.
Blackceo
When I was in my 20s I was more interested in older guys because I couldn’t seem to really find guys my age with any substance so mainly it was just sexual then. I was interested in guys in their 30s and 40s in my 20s. Now that I’m 37 it’s weird getting hit on by much younger guys. I think younger guys do have more of a sense of self these days then when I was that age 15 years ago. My fiancé is close to my age and it suits me fine. I still can’t imagine something long term with someone 10+ years younger than me but to each his own…it works for others. I just think at some point age becomes an issue most of the time when it’s too much of a difference.
KiDAciDic
Ive always found it hard to even get the attention of those in my age group. I recently turned 30 but throughout my 20s it was majority younger guys or 30-50 year old guys who seemed attracted me.
Kyameron Singh
Truth be told not about age it’s about attractions if you say I’m into 18 to 24 but if your older and fit I’d consider you I’m sorry that’s disgusting your attracted to whoever this is where grindr and other apps have ruined a social life however unfortunately grindr seems be the only media to use to even stand a chance of meeting people think this documentation is misleading the real problems have not even been touched
donpen
may 12th. 2015
well I am 75 and have a lover 52 and we have been together for 15 yrs. we now live in a non tourist area of northern Thailand on his 25 rai rice farm where
we built a house and are living happy ever after.his family is ok with us and all work and do ask us for money or anything else. we’ve been here for ten years and the local people know us and it’s pretty common here, with older guys and younger wives and some gay guy couples.
I sometimes think he is older than me in the way he thinks. we take vacations a couple of times a year to other countries and generally have a great life together and sex.he also works out and has a great body and is very good looking. I keep wondering how I got so lucky. so these relationships can and do work you all can have these younger guys 20 up. yes we do love each other.
don
tham
Meh, who cares about age. I’ve known 40 year olds who act like 20 year olds, I’ve known 20 year olds who act like 40 year olds…
It’s all in your heads.
Richard Tgramps Bower
I have always loved older men.. even though I am 70 now, won’t date under 50.. and yes I still get dates..
Navalator
I am a white American male aged 82. My male marital partner is an ABC aged 32. We live in an interracial and intercultural relationship that has lasted for 12 years. We have a well balanced emotional, intellectual and sexual compatibility. Age difference only enters into the equation because of experiential backgrounds. So I regale with stories of the milkman arriving at the door with a horse drawn wagon and he talks about rocket propulsion to the cosmos. We learn something new daily from each other. The age differential does not inhibit our relationship. However, because of the vile and viral homophobia, racism, ageism and general intolerance in the American society we resolved to move to Thailand where we are totally accepted and live unafraid. When we bailed out of the ignorant Christian hate environment our lives became more enriched and healthy. It is our opinion that age need not be a barrier to a meaningful and rewarding relationship. We have adjusted well to a new culture, new language and excellent Thai cuisine. Disclosure: We are both educated with advanced university degrees, speak and write several languages, travel internationally and respect our host country’s mores, customs and culture. These attributes most likely overcame the ageist bigotries that we both grew up with in the U.S.
Neil Ballantyne
It’s all about maturity. I have met some very mature 20 something and some very immature 50 somethings in my years
blessingyou
I think a lot of older gay guys feel that as they get older, they have less and less currency in the community, because the beauty of youth is so prized in our culture. Of course, if you have a strong sense of self, I mean in the deep sense not in the ego sense, you can avoid this pitfall. I find it sad that so often our looks are considered our biggest commodity. WHen I was a young gay man in NYC, I became suspicious of older men. At first, I longed for those connections; I wanted advice, someone to learn from, look up to–but it seemed like guys just wanted to get in my pants, and thus use me to feel better about themselves. This gives older guys a bad name, and makes younger guys wary. Because structural homophobia stunts emotional development in a lot of gay men, we lack elders who treat younger guys respectfully and with care rather than with craving/lust and/or judgment.
Giancarlo85
Two stories about Thailand here lol… You have to wonder the real motivation of some guys to go there.
Mike John
Whoz trying to get they fudge packed
Kernan Coleman
Oh my god! That “older guy” in the photo? Who would touch that old troll?
Sweetie Pie
@Giancarlo85: Seems like you have no idea of how old I am…as usual you have no fucking clue
Keep trolling
Bauhaus
@Mike John:
You are, obviously. You took the first step. Congratulation! You openly came to a gay website with your name and photo. That’s a big deal, believe it or not. Let me give you some advice: don’t be a douche. It’s not cute. You’ll never get laid being a douche. Not as much, at least.
Oh, and the ladies love gay men. LOVE THEM. So stop being an asshole, either way.
yaletownman
As long as we guys who are over 40 feel like we need validation from young guys to feel viable and attractive, we are going to be in trouble. It’s perfectly fine to be in a relationship with a younger guy the problem comes when we don’t feel good about ourselves unless a much younger guy(s) desires us. As we grow older I feel like it’s time to find the beauty within us. That beauty lasts forever.
Taskebab
OMG, who cares about age, the only thing that is important in the gay world is looks…you can be 20 and scream you’ll open your legs to everybody, if you are not blessed in the looks department, nobody will be interested, and I bet it’s the same for older guys…I’m so done with this non-stop “Young = Hot, but Dumb & Old = Wise, but disgusting” stereotype that Queerty so desperately tries to push on us…
Greg Morris
Who cares about the article, I want the dude on the left.
Clark35
@Giancarlo85: Exactly. Thailand is a shithole and not a place you want to live, let alone have a holiday or vacation at.
silveroracle
I prefer around my own age group.
Clark35
But it’s not surprising that ped0s who claim to be “gay” men would move to Thailand as the ones who posted here did for that reason.
All other bi and gay men I know who have an age gap in their relationship don’t feel the need to move to Thailand and stay in the United States, Canada, or whatever country they are from.
Elloreigh
I’m an older guy (50s). If I were to become single again (which I hope never happens), I would probably stay single, or go for a guy a little older than me. I can’t picture myself with a younger guy, and I doubt they’d have any interest in me, friendship, relationship, or otherwise.
Things are a lot different now from when I was in my 20s and 30s, and part of a ‘gay community’. I’ve gone from the days when I could walk into a bar and know 20 people by first AND last name, to now, when the number of gay people I see within a year can be counted on one hand.
Chris LaRosa
Seriously. “Older guy”? Like the 35 year old dude on the left with the porn star body? Let’s be clear, especially when 60 is the new 50: that guy AIN’T OLD! Sheesh!
Elloreigh
@KiDAciDic: I could never get the attention of guys my age either when I was younger. About the only guys who’ve ever hit on me have been somewhere between 5-15 years older.
notevenwrong
@yaletownman: “As we grow older I feel like it’s time to find the beauty within us. That beauty lasts forever.”
That is true. However, many older guys let themselves go prematurely. In this part of the country I cannot find any guys my age who are still in shape. As a result, I date younger guys. I sometimes envy guys my age in the larger metropolises who have a healthier-looking choice of guys our age available.
John P Farinhas
i have always had a thing for older men!
John Nash
If ‘helping out’ means what I think it means, damn right you better be giving something up!!
Doughosier
I’m 51 my lover is 27. We’ve been dating three years, living together for half of that. It’s the best relationship I’ve ever had. He makes more money than me too btw. There really are no rules. If you like someone and they like you, it’s good.
Giancarlo85
@Sweetie Pie: You can be old and still want a sugar daddy. Basically someone to pay for your broke ass lol.
@Clark35: They spoke as if it is heaven on earth. Isn’t there a military dictatorship there right now? And child sex abuse is rampant. There is no real law and order apparatus in that country. Maybe that’s why we got those two weird stories. And the one about an 81 year old dating a 30 year old or whatever… yuck.
We all know both of those men probably went there for the underage boys.
Anthony Edward Rosener III
Keep to your own generation please.
myloginname
I started dating men when I was 19 and always preferred them around 5 years older than me. I am 45 now and prefer them about 5 years older than me. Young guys are really cute but I prefer actually communing with men older.
Kieran Loveridge-rees
I don’t care about age nearly as much as their maturity and sense of entitlement I know loads of older guys that think just because they’re older they know better than everyone and expect you to be their little sex doll/puppy and I also know loads of younger guys that think of older guys as already dead
Bauhaus
@Anthony Edward Rosener III:
Should we “keep” to our own village, race, ethnicity, class, culture, religion, and education level, too? To each his own, but sheesh.
NJjoe
I find the younger gay males (20’s) that I have come in contact with, very selfish and have no respect for the older generation that have, really, made their lives more easier than when I was at that age. And I am only 51. Go figure?
notevenwrong
Giancarlo85 must have been dumped for a hot daddy, or maybe by a hot daddy. How else to explain the bitter? Every article about ageism, he goes bananas.
Dai Davies
A younger guy with a mature head is a rare find.,and it should be. But, once encountered never forgotten.
William Stelma
Depends on who you ask. I’ve always had an attraction to older men.
John Kuehnle
I was on M atchdotcom a few years ago and most of young guys profiles I saw wanted no men over 25. One day those guys will be older if they’re lucky and the same will happen to them, everybody ages.
Jairo Mendez
Maduro, Como el Buen Vino
Kyle Duncan
I kinda have a thing going on with a guy that’s 41, I’m 22 I enjoy every minute I hang out with him.
Christopher Michael
Damn don’t I know that. At 70 the choices can be slim. Buy it or give it a rest
Jeffrey Thomas
I think guys in their 20’s should do what nature intended. Shut up, stand there and look pretty for the rest of us. Older guys are sexy and they know things.
Jim DelRae
I prefer my age (53) give or take 5-10 years, but as a young man I also preferred older.
Brian J. Reinhard
I love older guys have had a few dates with guys in their forties even fifties. Just connect Better with them.
James Sigmon
MY area the young guys seem to date guys with $$$$ to support habits . They guy in the pic here on left is hot I would not turn him down as long as u have a hot bod and over 30 no issues.
Robert Becker
With age comes experience.
One point to make for our younger brothers.. it was the “pioneer” generation who fought to get a world where you can be out and proud. Learn what this community was and where it can go… we are all on the same journey, although some of us are a few steps ahead.
navelgazer
What’s “older” is a matter of opinion and is relative and very subjective. For some gays, 30s is “old”. For others, it’s 40s and others still it’s 50s plus.
At 52, I’m pretty sure I’m no one’s fantasy, sexually or romantically. While I’m not thrilled with that, it’s something I can do little about – hoping that an entire culture will grow up and appreciate my other qualities like being employed, having a career, bring a good confidant and listener, and not being strung out on booze or drugs, has been futile. And that’s after starting gay life in my 30s and going through 30s, 40s and now 50s.
I get that many gays want someone who’s going to turn them on. You can’t lie to your sex organs. I just wish the way the universe worked, traits like intelligence and responsibility translated directly into sexual desirability, and not just prettiness or physical endowment. More of us would like to play, too.
And yes, as another poster has said, the general recent trend for gay culture has favored dating downward agewise. When the widest focus is on 20-somethings there’s little for anyone else.
And to anyone who reflexively says “Ewww” to anyone over 40, your turn’s coming. Everyone gets a turn at being repulsive to someone else…