What Rachel Maddow Would’ve Said About BP (If She Had Barack Obama’s Job)

Is it a sad day, or an awesome one when Rachel Maddow’s balls are bigger than the president’s?

“Never again will any company, anyone, be allowed to drill in a location where they are incapable of dealing with the potential consequences of that drilling,” says Fake President Maddow.

Just for shits and giggles, can Rachel draft her own State of the Union address next year?

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  • Baxter

    Of course we wouldn’t have to be doing deep water drilling if the environmentalists would let oil companies drill in shallow water and in places like ANWR, where cleaning up potential spills wouldn’t be as difficult.

  • reason

    Terrible speech, it is more like a long angry rant by an individual that has no responsibility or accountability to anyone. She spends the first part ranting of information that is already common knowledge and assailing BP at every turn. While providing red meat to the ultra liberals, it is deleterious to the American people. A blistering attack by the government on BP will send their already dismal stocks tumbling and possibly force them into bankruptcy which a lot of wall street investors are betting on hoping to turn a handsome profit for themselves. The company that is slated to take over BP is PetroChina the first 1 trillion dollar company that is being run by the Chinese government. Basically you would be turning over a company which Americans hold 40% of the stock in pension funds, retirement funds, and other investment vehicles and turning our wealth over to the Chinese for pennies on the dollar. A BP bankruptcy will also relieve them from paying anything for the Gulf Oil spill, so it is a balancing act of trying to get BP to live up to their responsibilities without crippling their company. Maddow’s approach would deliver a blow to BP whose leadership will walk away loaded, and sticking a knife in the hearts of hard working Americans because she is an overly emotional shoot first type of individual. She would also be destroying one of the few stable financial pillars in the midst of one of the largest economic disasters, imperiling thousands of jobs, that will aid in pushing us into a double dip recession.

    She also claims that there is no relief until August, when there is significant relief already that is planned to be ramped up to 90% of the leaking oil this month. She believes that they should not be engaging in activities if they may not be able to handle the risk, well I guess she is suggesting that we shut off all nuclear plants, off shore drilling, coal mines, shutter the pharmaceutical industry, or any other industry that has serious risk. We can then sit in the dark dirt poor scratching our heads.

    She also goes after the very legislators that an energy bill can’t be passed with out and basically calls them spineless and incompetent. She clearly wasn’t paying attention during the Hillary Clinton health care debacle, piss of congress and you get nothing.

    This administration is smart enough to know not to piss on the people they need. One day after the Obama so called dismal speech he extracted 20 billion dollars from BP in a private meeting on top of the over 1.2 billion the company already spent. This is absolutely unprecedented in history. Exxon payed less than 5 billion for clean up, settlement, and everything else after all the tough talk and the dust had settled. BP’s liability cap is 75 million and congress has faltered when it has come to raising it even a few billion dollars. Do you think he would have been able to do this if he meet with those CEO’s at the beginning of the disaster, showed his poker hand, or had been cussing them out throughout the entire process. No, instead he would have a massive fight on his hands between Congress and BP; the radical left would be ecstatic with the superficial blows on BP and the Gulf coast would be sc****d.

    So as Queerty said Rachel may have Bigger Balls, but hey terrorist suicide bombers have Bigger Balls while lacking brains both figuratively and literally. Take this emotional charged practically retarded banter and flush it down a toilet.

  • Alexander A.

    @reason: Wow. You’re just kinda wrong on all levels with this one, aren’t you? I can elaborate, if you like, but I don’t think your short-sighted opinions deserve the time.

  • IAmHeAsYouAreHe

    Generally, the problem with the modern American politician is the problem with the average modern American s/he represents: an inability to do any long term planning or investment. The citizenry lacks patience and our government lacks leadership.

  • reason

    @Alexander A.: Please do elaborate.

    I am right granted that BP’s stock went up after the President secured more money than congress or the courts could ever extract from BP. Hence the whining and crying of Joe Barton about a violent shakedown by the White House. When the far right R’s are foaming at the mouth you know the president did something right. BP’s bond rating was also increased from junk. The President in a master stroke is making them responsible and ensuring that they don’t go bankrupt so they actually face responsibility. I was about to lay into Rachel, but I will be nice and say she got it wrong. Sometimes Rachel is purposefully disingenuous and I can read it on her face. She was called into the White House yesterday to put her in her place and prevent her from derailing the chance of passing an energy bill.

  • Cam

    No. 1 · Baxter
    Of course we wouldn’t have to be doing deep water drilling if the environmentalists would let oil companies drill in shallow water and in places like ANWR, where cleaning up potential spills wouldn’t be as difficult.

    That is a ridiculous comment. Companies will drill wherever they can find oil. If oil were allowed to be drilled in ANWAR guess what that would have done to the Gulf…nothing, because it is like saying “Oh, well if Nigeria starts producing more Oil then Saudi Arabia will just stop producing it.”. The only reason companies didn’t used to drill in water that deep is because they did not have the technology. Companies will drill wherever they are allowed to as long as they can make a profit from the oil. The U.S. produces less than 40% of our domestic oil needs. ANWAR would not up that number significantly, if there was drilling there, there would still be multiple deep water wells in the Gulf.

  • unclemike

    @Baxter: Let’s not just cut-and-paste Palin’s twitter feed here, okay? BP lied about their ability to drill in this area, they cut corners and put safety issues on the back burner in order to drill. They also lied about their ability to handle a spill, should it occur there. Let’s not forget where the blame really lies.

  • Yet Another

    I reject Queerty’s premise that either Maddow or President Obama had anything to do with “balls” or courage. It was simply about intent. Maddow is a journalist. President Obama is a politician. Maddow had a informative purpose while President Obama had a persuasive one.

    I loved Maddow’s version. But it was Apple’s to Oranges with President Obama’s. More Queerty page-hit-fishing

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