Gaga Studies 101 is not an actual class being taught at any university that we know of. Not even the University of Phoenix, which can get away with anything. But “the editors of an online academic journal on Gaga Studies explain why you should take the pop star seriously,” explains Salon‘s Margaret Eby. And it goes us thinking: What would the syllabus for a Gaga course look like?
Study the musical elements of classic glam rock (David Bowie, Queen, Styx) as well as modern dance pop (New Kids On The Block, Crystal Castles, and Kanye West) then recombine them into dance hits with catchy hooks.
Study the vocal styles of Grace Jones, Debbie Harry, Gwen Stefani, and Christina Aguilera and the verse-chorus format of modern pop songs used by Britney Spears and Fergie. Then incorporate autobiographical metaphors into songs about love, fame, vampirism, and having sex with the lights off.
Studying the moves of Michael Jackson, Madonna, and a famous movie monster, create your own herky-jerky dance number. Extra credit for incorporating crutches, an opulent couch, or androgynous leotarded manservants.
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Study the properties of unconventional fabrics (police tape, plastic bubbles, Kermit dolls, etc.) and turn them into blindingly over-the-top fashions reminiscent of Donatella Versace, Bjork, and Alex McQueen. Bonus points for walking to class in a mask that covers up your eyes.
Create a new persona by mixing coquettish and aggressive affect in gender-fuck drag. Wear fishnets, a leather jacket, body armor, high-heel biker boots, and a dyke haircut while pretending to poison a lover of either sex.
Using a combination of economics and interior design, outfit a tour bus with creature comforts and a makeshift recording studio. Discuss coping strategies for motion and homesickness as well as the destabilizing effect of waking up in a new international city every couple of days.
Using aspects of camp, comedy, noir and Tarrantino films, learn how to make it in the post-MTV, YouTube-current era. Be sure to combine extraordinary costuming, lengthy storytelling, and viral mastery.
Using social media tools speak out on behalf of homeless youth, LGBT rights, and your right to shoot a glitter machine gun. Create several ideas on how to engage a large army of “little monsters” that includes ambitious young women, drunken gay men, and sexually awkward teenagers.
Just as she did at the American Music Awards, encase a fake piano in a glass cube and then shatter your way to it using only a champagne bottle. Then construct and ignite your own fireworks bra without getting any third-degree burns.
In front of a live camera, field questions about having a she-dick, single-handedly queering all the world’s youth, and being a puppet of the Illuminati—poise counts.
Create a team of stylists who will help stylize every aspect of your final performance. Teams will learn advanced cosmetology and costume design techniques towards creating a media spectacle in the middle of another class. High marks will be given to those whose pictures end up in the school paper. RuPaul is your guest speaker.
Record a new single on a tour bus and then theatrically perform it live in intersex clothing using original choreography and the burning instrument of your choice. Extra points for giving a pre-song shout-out to any LGBT cause or dead fashion designer.
Electro
A Gaga course?! Only in my fantasies…
S
The sad thing is, I know several people, not excluding my denial-ridden self, who would take this class.
Grayson
This is classic QUEERTY I loved this article and it’s witty take on pop culture.
cat
QUEERTY, taking a swipe at University of Phoenix in your caption is beneath you. Do your research. Almost every State College in the US allows students to register for this type of ‘pop culture’ curriculum to fill their required humanities credits. University of Phoenix has 500,000 students in class rooms and online across the US and Internationally, and is held to a higher standard of academia. I’ve come to expect much more from this website than such a catty and ill-informed remark. It reflects poorly on you.
Sergio
So what you’re saying is that we would learn about all the pop artists that came before Gaga and how she copied them?
-week 1: learn about the origins of pop (what!? Gaga didn’t create the genre?)
-week 2: learn how Gaga copied/”was influenced” by the vocal styles of other artists (Christina, Grace Jones, Gwen Stefani, etc.)
week 3:learn about the way she copied/”was influenced”by the dance styles of Madonna and Michael Jackson (I’m sure the copied copied Gaga)
Week 4: look she dresses weird! she must be a genius! (oh wait Bjork, Christina, Grace Jones, etc. were doing that way before she was!)
week 5:queer aesthetics, she pushes boundaries by kissing girls! ( I remember when she kissed Madonna at the MTV awards! Oh wait a second wasn’t that Britney and Christina?)
Week 6: live on the road while on tour (because every other artist goes home every night when they’re on tour, right?)
week 7: re-invent the music video (am I the only one that thinks the telephone music video is stupid? the bad romance video was really good though)
week 8: activism (why didn’t anyone think about this sooner?)
week 9:stagecraft and pyrotechnics (I think Kiss totally copied the pyrotechnic idea and Madonna copied the stagecraft) and just fyi she isn’t very good live
week 10: starting and deflecting rumors ( yep she queered the world’s youth! so Cher and Madonna had nothing to do with it)
Week 11: form a house of Gaga ( so she is not so creative, she has people for that)
week 12: Final exam, finally!
So what I got from this “class” is that you have to learn about the artists that “influenced” her. I think the class should be called “the history of pop 101” or something like that
don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love Gaga, but to say she is completely original is to ignore all the great artists that came before her
jeffree
Next semester’s class may be “The Rise & Fall of Pop Icons” which will compare and contrast Gaga & Justin Bieber ??
Bravo Queerty & Daniel V.,this article is very clever & funny! I laughed several times. I saw an actual syllabus for a course about ++vampires++ in literature & film, and it wasn’t nearly as interesting.
I hope you had as much fun writing this as we did reading it.
swarm
@ Sergio nobody is saying she invented anything or “completely” original are they? (only in comparison with other acts today) But she IS the only one bold enough to do her goofy [and musically superficial ear-wormy] stuff while trying to/becoming a pop star. Everyone knows she got signed through insider connections just like everyone else in the business and would still be a big nobody without those connections. (just like Kesha) I’m sick of her anyway. She started out enthusiastic and cute and bubbly while saving the drama for the stage. Then morphed into this pseudo dramatic Deitrich contrived faux mysterious persona off stage and became totally unlikable, unrelatable and laughable. It will be her decline, imo.
Amy
Hi! I’m actually teaching a class on Lady Gaga at Rice University next semester – http://courses.rice.edu/admweb/swkscat.main?p_action=COURSE&p_crn=15805&p_term=201110
And my syllabus is quite a bit like the one proposed in this article!
Samuel
First, I wouldn’t expect anything less from Rice which uses the catchphrase “unconventional wisdom.” Second, that class was packed right from the get-go – everybody wanted in. I think it’ll be exciting.