SMOKE SIGNALS

Where There’s Smoke, There’s Pontiff: White Smoke In Vatican Signals New Pope Has Been Chosen

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White smoke has been seen rising over the Vatican, signaling that either the College of Cardinals have elected a new pope, or all the stress has pushed them to light up the biggest doobie on Earth.

Thousands are gathering in Vatican Square, awaiting the arrival of the 266th pope of the Roman Catholic Church, who is locked inside the Sistine Chapel until he (or she, fingers crossed!) steps forward on the balcony in front of St. Peter’s Basilica and greets the faithful.