Which Gay Survivor Contestant Doesn’t Want to be Known as the Gay Survivor Contestant?


Like any 19-year-old, Survivor: Tocantins contestant Spencer Duhm rings of naivety. The show’s youngest-ever challenger (whose season premiered last night on CBS), Duhm doesn’t want to be known as “the gay contestant,” which, to be fair, always seems to happen on a reality show. But it’s not that Duhm doesn’t want to be defined as gay — he just doesn’t want to be compared to supposed queens like Todd, Coby, or last season’s adorable Charlie Herschel. In fact, Duhm is “embarrassed for” the guy.

Duhm tells Reality Blurred: “I don’t like come across like most of the gay guys but I am, so I’ll probably be like—but then again, JP was gay and nobody knew that on the show; he was about the straightest I’ve ever seen. … But I won’t be Todd, I surely won’t be Coby. I won’t be Charlie. Holy shit. I talked to my parents and I was like, ‘Mom, do I sound like that?’ she was like, ‘Sweetheart, no, I would never let you go out in public if you sounded like that.’ Thank God.”

Aw, what a positive message from mom!

And speaking of Charlie, what does Duhm think about the Survivor: Gabon contestant (who once said “I want to be like the gay, white, athletic, male Cirie”)? Duhm explains: “First of all, I’m not crushin’ on Marcus. … Have a little discretion; he’s straight, leave the man alone. It just baffles me, everytime [Charlie] opens his mouth, ‘I love Marcus. Marcus is great. I feel protected when he’s around. I feel nervous when he’s not around.’ It’s kind of like, ‘Alright, you have a serious crush. This isn’t just joking. You have serious crush. Just stop.’ I’m just embarrassed for him, ’cause I know he’s got to be sitting at home, just embarrassed, red-faced.”

Actually, we know that not to be true: Marcus and Charlie remain friends. Charlie told Queerty recently he didn’t feel any embarrassment about how his crush on Marcus was portrayed on the show.

Photo: CBS

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  • Cam

    If he’s trying to be “The Butch One” he may want to rethink posing there with the Richard Simmons Grin and his hands on his hips.

  • Ed

    He’s young, naive, trying to define himself – he’s falling into a trap a lot of gay men find themselves in on masculinity. Hopefully he grows out of it.

    That said, I saw a clip of him online from the show last night, and he needs to pick up the purse that fell out of his mouth.

    Mamma was just being kind, didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

  • j

    fuck his mom

  • ConservativeRepublican


    LOL, my thoughts exactly.

  • Sebbe

    It is always the guys that are boasting about how “str8 acting” they are that are the easiest to spot. Like Ed said give him a few years.

    BTW – Do people actually watch this show? I just assumed it was mid-western housewives? I will admit when I was young I used to watch the Swedish version from the early 90s that it is based upon (Expedition Robinsson) and have never seen the US version except for the millions of commercials over the years.

  • Sebbe

    @J – obvi the mother is the reason why he has such a desire to not be “one of those” gays.

  • Robert

    I agree with Spencer; but who cares how Charlie talks, check out Charlie’s junk in that photo.

  • Darth Paul

    @Sebbe: No, I haven’t watched this sad show since its 2nd season.

  • Michael W.

    That was me a few years ago. He’ll eventually grow up and learn that, masculine or feminine, we’re all in this together (or so I hope).

  • The Gay Numbers

    Yeah, it is odd that the most effeminate guys or the one’s who are so over the top “macho” are often the ones you could pick out as gay in a line up. This is all the ghost of Christmas Past for me. Nice to have moved on.

  • Bob Lablah

    I find it VERY hard to believe the only reason we are reading a story like this (that was obviously leaked) is the ratings that it will bring in.

    These shows are what they are. Cheap but profitable TRASH TV.

  • Tonytigger

    I agree. Charlie crushing on a straight guy was embarassing. Week after week 30 something Charlie showed what straights have always feared….we lust after straight men. I was constantly trying to explain to my straight male friends that I don’t lust after them, but that Charile was a one of a kind whackadoo!

  • Jeff

    At 35, I can look at this kid now and see where he’s coming from. I was very uncomfortable with my sexuality all through high school and college, and tried to hide that part of my life by “butching it up” for fear of rejection. Even after coming out and dating, I still shied away from more “feminine” guys. It’s only after you become truly comfortable with yourself that other people’s traits and opinions don’t bother you. Give him some time and he’ll grow out of it. (And yes, his mom is NOT helping matters here)

  • Drake Roberts

    “Um, like, I don’t watch survivor so like I don’t get the importance of like this post.”
    Someone trying to avoid the label of “gay” may want to avoid sounding like a valley girl.
    Good luck Buffy Duhm!

  • atdleft

    Poor thing. Maybe Spencer needs to just learn to be more comfortable with who he is? I remember being like that at 19. He doesn’t need to fit anyone’s stereotype for “gay”, whether that’s butchy-macho-boy or pretty-pink-princess.

    OK, and it’s a little funny that I’m writing this as I watch my fave “Real Housewives of OC”. I hope I’m not being “stereotypical”… ;-)

  • Aaron M

    @Robert: Hey it might be a grower
    I have seen packages like that and ended up choking nearly to death LOL

  • Aaron M

    I used to think that given another chance with an X that I really loved and let get away, that it would be different. Well
    I even did that after 2 or 3 years I happened to be in the area
    that he lived St Joe Michigan, Hey Fred this is about you LOL
    We ended up spending the entire day together, talking and having the greatest time, it was as if the years apart were weeks and
    we like the past. Then night came and he invited me home with him and just like before, I followed him into his house and
    was introduced to the guy he was living with and I would of ended up being the meat in a sandwich. He had not changed at
    all still picking up guys and needing more then one on a string all the time. But hey it was fun and I hold no ill will towards him and never will and think of him and many others with warm loving thoughts and always a twing of pain, Oh yea and Sandy if you happen to read this, your still in my heart and last (not really ) but Never the least of Beautiful men Sid you I should of begged to stay and I know you would of, but then everything I have done the past 15 – 20 – 25 (what ever) years would of never been and I would of missed so much. But maybe I would of been
    happier and I sure wish I knew. So to all of you that remember
    and there were many of you, I remember each and everyone of you and you all will be in my heart and on my mind forever and thank you for the time we were given together. PS my name is NOT Aaron but I was in the Grand Rapids Michigan area most of the time.
    And that is my or one of my Email that I use. Bye

    For the life of me I nearly forgot, you know most of thease guys I would say 65% or 70% were mostly straight/ BI / Male friendly
    and more then likely would never read this blog, but ya never know. There were still a number of them that were openly gay and most of the gay friends that might read this are no longer with us a great many who died of AIDS of those friends I miss all of you more then I miss not having a love in my life. I hope your all in a happyier and wonderful place if there is one.

  • Jeff

    @Aaron M: Dude…WTF???

  • ConservativeRepublican

    @Aaron M:

    Gives you a huge hug. I know love can really hurt some times. Hang in there.

  • Kit

    Yeah, a lot of us have been there and outgrew it, and he will too eventually, so I can’t really hold it against him. He doesn’t seem to have a very forceful personality though, which makes me think he might not last very long on the show. Then again, we haven’t really seen that much of him yet. Oh, and I didn’t hear any purses fall out of his mouth – he just sounded like an excitable teenager to me.

  • Mark

    If they don’t know any out gay people, most of America judges gays by “reality” shows like Survivor and Jerry Springer. Hateful talk of flamboyant homos by other homos and their moms isn’t helpful. Hopefully, this Survivor will grow to understand this and regret this kind of remark.

  • BombasticMo

    I couldn’t read through this whole story. Kinda drivel?

  • oneway

    Geesh, guys, give the kid a break! I’m 35 and can only wish I had my sexual-identity shit together to the degree he does at that age. He’s ambitious, but very young — and, sure, he’s going to trip on himself dealing with stereotypes and public image. Big deal.

  • vernonvanderbilt

    Well, isn’t he just adorable? I mean, I have only ever watched about half an episode of this show, but he almost makes me half-think about considering the potential option of maybe letting the show play in the background while I do something interesting.

  • Me

    There’s more than one way to be gay. Just because he may not respond to (or perhaps even respect) more flamboyant elements out there doesn’t necessarily mean he’s leading the procession of angry torch-wielding villagers. By exposing “everyone else” do the wide array of gay men that exist, we can humanize ourselves. Sadly, to date, we’ve seen precious little else than the preening, fawning, fashion-obessed, walking gossip magazine that comprises the bulk of the gay male stereotype.

  • Sebbe

    @me – like I and others have said here he is still very young so is allowed some room to grow. But, I’m not sure that it is ever a good idea to hold yourself in such better esteem than any other type of person. Sadly, many minorities and group are solely portrayed in a stereotypical format.

  • fixator

    Duhm, young and full of …

  • Franco

    He’s just young and stupid, and with time I’m sure he’ll be the one looking back with embarrassment about his naive and ignorant comments.

  • been there

    I haven’t watched Survivor since Season 1 (with Richard). Apparently the show has to keep showcasing gay guys just so it will remain interesting enough to watch….

  • Sebbe

    @been there – isn’t that true of most things in life!!! LOL

  • damon459

    and now he’s been voted off lol

  • Scionwoods


    I think she is right, I have nothing against gay guys but all feminine grown men should be slaughter, straight or gay. Guys suppose to be hard and strong not whiny bitches. Now kids are okay since they are to innocent to know the difference between a men and a women.

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