Which Movie Is a Better Gay Movie: Bruno or Humpday?

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Or maybe the question should be, “Which is a better gay porn movie?” Both open today, which means you can catch a double feature and make the call for yourself. Vanity Fair‘s gay car blogger Brett Berk makes the case: “Bruno’s schtick is straight-up Pinkface. He grabs hold of an easy gay target—a vapid fashionista—and then waves it in the air tirelessly for 83 minutes, like some underpantied go-go boy on a rainbow Pride Parade float. That’s not dancing, it’s not original, and it’s certainly not funny. […] Humpday is a bit more complex, if you think movies where characters constantly talk about what’s going on is evidence of complexity. My boyfriend Tal said, ‘It’s like Old Joy, but with words.’ And if you know Old Joy (and you should), you’ll know its premise—two now-distant old college friends reunite and take stock of each other’s lives, and their own, to somewhat devastating effect. Only in this movie, they also decide to fuck and make a porno for some amorphous art contest. This would be fine if it was a seven minute skit. Or if either of the actors was hot. Or if they didn’t treat gay sex as such an impossible-to-wrap-their-mind-around taboo. Or (spoiler alert) if they actually got over their smug Seattle selves and followed through. There’s one great scene featuring a confession regarding a hairy-balled video store clerk. But even this felt like a watered-down version of Jason Patrick’s tell-all scene in Your Friends and Neighbors, a movie I didn’t even like, by one of my most reviled straight provocateur writer/directors. ‘I never thought I’d say this,’ my friend Colin confessed as the scene ended, ‘but I almost wish this movie was directed by Neil LaButte.'”

Either way, you’ll get man-on-man sex in both of them. Win-win? (Lose-lose?)