Give Gays a Breather

Who Can We Hate Next?


First they came for the Communists. Then the feminists. Then the hippies. And then, yes, America’s culture war came for the gays. But wouldn’t you know it: Despite Prop 8, those state constitution amendments, and Sean Hannity, the gays have just about won! “The gays have nearly completed their vile mission,” jokes
Mark Morford
. “They are everywhere. They are almost normal. Gay marriage, the last civil right, is now less an impossible dream and far more a foregone conclusion. It’s merely a matter of waiting for bitter old homophobes to die off.”

Which means, despite Frank Rich declaring the culture wars dead (or at least too expensive for America), we will rise up and find a new enemy to persecute!

America always needs some fringe group to go after. To explain why society is bankrupt. Why marriages are failing. Why children are having children. Why Sarah Palin continues to, well, continue.

Morford throws out some suggestions: Vegans! Hindus! Journalists! Old people! The rich!

But what about: Fat people! Skinny people! Poor people!

And true American classics like: The Jews! The Irish! Mexicans!

Surely we can come together as one nation and find a more unfortunate class of people who deserve all our hate. The ladies on QVC can’t handle it all.