You might know British YouTuber Calum McSwiggan (keyword: might) from his inspirational music-laden videos tackling subjects like queer heroes or coming out to grandma, but it’s his latest video — I Did Gay Porn & I’m Sorry — that’s stirring up conversation.
For months, rumors circulated online that McSwiggan once had an online persona that was decidedly at odds with his advertiser-friendly, wholesome LGBTQ role model image — namely that he’d appeared in a series of live unprotected sex videos with two other men when he was 19.
Chalk it up to either teenage naiveté about the ways of the web, or just a decent-enough sounding story, but Calum says he didn’t realize the videos might find a permanent home online.
“I’d like to apologize for the fact that they’re out there,” he tells BuzzFeed News. “I want to be a positive role model for people so these images aren’t what I want people to be seeing.”
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Related: Ultimate Fighter Dakota Cochrane Addresses Gay-Porn Past
He goes on to explain that after he suffered the double-whammy of being bullied for being gay at his college job then being fired when he reported it (not cool), he was hard-pressed on funds.
But here’s were his logic gets a little fuzzy. Claiming he was “really scared about going back into [a normal job] in case things [the bullying] repeated,” he turned to a different sort of opportunity.
“Two friends suggested we try out webcam shows. They’d seen people making money off it and hoped I would do it with them as a threeway.” What began as one performance turned into many, and the money proved all-too enticing.
The issue McSwiggan faces now, aside from the copious shame he thickly doles upon himself, is that the sex in the videos is unprotected. He strongly advocates condoms in many of his YouTube videos.
“Although we were all tested before we did it and knew we were negative, when you watch the videos there’s no context to that, it just looks like we’re having unprotected sex, and that’s not something I want to promote,” he tells Buzzfeed. “I promote the opposite – it’s something I say in my videos: ‘Don’t bareback, make sure you’re using protection.’ I don’t want this to damage my reputation and all the things I’ve worked so hard to do.”
Related: Antigay Pastor’s Adult Gay Film Past Is Uncovered To Nobody’s Surprise
Ultimately, he takes something of a victim’s stance on the experience, claiming he wasn’t equipped to make thoughtful decisions at 19.
“There are so many 18-year-olds in porn, and yes, you’re legally able to consent at that age, but do you really have the right head on your shoulders to make that decision?” He asks. “I certainly didn’t.”
Don’t worry, Calum, you can still be a role model — it’s not as dire as you think. And hey, if anything, at least we’ve heard of you now.
Here are a some safe-for-work stills from the one of the videos, circa 2010-ish.
Below, Calum discusses the story on his channel:
Tommy Strangie
stop slut shaming
Peter Gaffney
He’s a fucking hypocrite not a wholesome role model.
Kyle Mueller
clue number 1: anyone identified as ‘wholesome’
Scott Redner
Blah blah, HE brought up his porn past to get into the spotlight… NEXT!
Robert Pimentel
Who gives a F–K
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
’tis a pity…
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
so that explains the eye…industrial accident! 0_<
Justin Weeks
How do I find the porn bitch how you going to talk about it and not have a link
M J Martinez Crogan
they look underage, am i gonna get busted for reading this story?
Stache
I’ll one up that. I don’t want to watch you take your clothes off or listen to you’re babbling either. Amazing there’s actually guys wanking to that.
Victor Barry
NBD – in 10 years everyone will have a story like this.
AtticusBennett
nothing to apologize for. at all.
literally. this is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. it’s not as if he’s a self-hating homo who worked for anti-gay conservatives for years, and supported their anti-LGBT legislations, racism and bigotry.
Sheldon Siegel
Own it and keep moving on.
MMDD
@AtticusBennett: Sick and tired of holier-than-thous criticizing gay men for having sex, whether they be private acts, paid-for acts, or acts spread all over the Internet. A man getting off with another man is a beautiful thing, period.
Albert Pell
Wholesome??? lol Calum?!
Wilson W Wong
You tuber getting paid per click.
Eldred
His youtube videos are quite boring, in my opinion. So, I mean… at least he has naughty vids out there.
ingyaom
Sure, he’s sorry he did porn (now that it might impact his income), but how much is he still consuming (and shaming)?
billywonka
He isn’t as sorry as the people who watched his videos. Not the porn videos, the stupid ones he is doing now. Shudda stayed with doing porn….
Bill Mountrey
Ya should have stayed with doing porn. Now you are just a sad attention seeker….
Keith Michael Patrick
it can only help his career
Kenneth Haljean
F$&@ em’!!!! How many of these people were there to pay your electric bill or car payment or rent(hah!). If anyone did during that time and they don’t like it you can apologize to them. Everyone else…….ð???
Alex Cherry
Who cares? Either that he did porn or that you idiots keep posting about it? Gossip-mongers.
Philip Jones
it is sad that our gay brothers and sisters are saying to this you tuber like we all had done something in our life that we regert,he has made a mistake that he paying a heavy price and lost something that he love doing a job teaching. so instead of shameing him try to show him we are not a bitch and understand we all have done something calum is a young man that is trying his best in doing the right thing so show some support someday you might need it. thanks
John Harmeier
So he did some porn, get over it. I can’t wait to watch it!!! Lol
Mark Pointon
I bet he’s wishing he’d kept his mouth shut now…
Philip Epstein
What’s up with his left eye?
William M Arnold
Who really cares. It is only sex that has been filmed, for God’s sake. Most of us have sex & some of us do it in front of a camera, big deal. Let’s get excited & active about the erosion of Democracy & the rise of a “soft” form of Fascism in countries like Britain, Australia & NZ. Let’s get excited & active about what is happening to our LGBTQI Comrades in Uganda, Saudi Arabia, Iraq & Syria ( DAESH ) – protests at their High Commissions/ Embassies ?? What about an escape plan for those suffering LGBTQI people similarly to Harriet Tubman saving escaping slaves ??
Daniel-Reader
He should just consult with Dustin Lance Black about embarassing past moments you’d rather forget.
barkomatic
so many gays criticize sex that other guys have–and then do the exact same thing in private. It’s getting annoying.
Pedro Pelaez
Irresponsible decisions have consequences.
Dita Fitz James
So he did pay per view web cam porn when he was skint. Why is he ashamed? Wouldn’t many of us done it if it was available when we were younger? More worried that all 3 lads look underage and that should be more disturbing.
galatians328
@Tommy Strangie:
what’s your definition of ‘slut shaming’? … urban dictionary says ‘mocking a woman because she enjoys having sex, has sex a lot, or may even just be rumored to participate in sexual activity’
by any reasonable definition this story has NO slut-shaming; its describes GREEDY HYPoCRISY: this guy MADE MONEY off others making porn, THEN claims he didn’t know what he was doing and now wants to MAKE MONEY off his change of mind!
He is a greedy hypocrite.
ALL OF US should be calling out every GREEDY HYPOCRITE … and there are PLENTY of the in the LGBTQ~
Xzamilio
This is the Streisand Effect… had he just kept this too himself, only a few people would know about those videos, and now EVERYONE will be looking for them, only because there’s the “shame” factor. And by “everyone”, I mean a few people who care enough. I’m not one of them. This is dumb.
Tom Gouzoules
He cant blame his decisions on the porn industry. You make decisions and you own them and the decision….no one forces us into anything.
Captain Obvious
YouTube famous is not famous so I really couldn’t care less. He’s a private citizen sharing too much of his personal business and inviting random nobodies to look into his private past. People need to stop trying to get famous from YouTube, they aren’t protected individuals like real celebs. You could be stalked, harassed, and blackmailed with no assistance behind this YouTube garbage. When it dries up and you need a real job what then?
I’ve seen first hand a bunch of shady and creepy people picking apart random people and couples from YouTube trying to tear their lives apart over things that really isn’t anyone’s business.
Brian Nesbitt
Ugh. He needs to stop with the slut shaming. He did porn. He was an adult. Get over it! No explanation needed. No manufactured scandal either.
Kangol
With the rise of facial recognition software and the permanence of anything that makes its way onto the web, this is going to affect quite a few people down the road.
I feel bad for younger adults–above the age of consent–who may not be thinking long term about what they’re doing.
If you’re a mature person, at 30 or 40 or 50 and put nude photos up, you really should grasp what the ramifications might be.
Ogre Magi
I hate the fact that gay men have become so puritanical and sanctimonious
I blame gay christians and homocons for this, I really do.
If anyone in our community needs to be ashamed it is them.
Christopher Valentine Garcia
Hate to see all the comments everywhere, I think it was dumb to admit to this cuz for a long time it’s going to suck. But he is brave … hope it works for him.
David Gervais
See:
http://friendsugandansafetransport.org/
David Gervais
@William M Arnold:
See:
http://friendsugandansafetransport.org/
Bryguyf69
While it’s true that homophobes may use this against him, and mainstream sponsors may shy away, there’s no hypocrisy. There’s no evidence that he currently has unprotected sex so advocating condom use isn’t hypocritical. He should just own up to it and move on. He shouldn’t even apologize or call the decision wrong. The guy can take a hint from child star, Dylan Sprouse, whose response to his leaked nudies was universally praised.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlQaCylQKag
Bryguyf69
Here’s a similar blast from the past, the sad case of Cleveland Indians pitcher, Kazuhito Tadano. I felt especially bad for him during the press conference because the kid didn’t speak English — and he was once the pride of Japan. But unlike the Japanese who shunned him, his US teammates were apparently supportive (“Twice in the minor leagues last season, Tadano stood before his teammates and confessed to his participation in the video…”)
Although straight, Tadano did gay porn as a Japanese college student to earn money. And we’re not just talking a solo scene, or even the tame stuff by Sean Cody actor and MMA fighter, Dakota Cochrane. Tadano’s movie had extended DEEP tongue kissing, an orgy, bondage and S/M. I think one scene even featured a catheter being inserted into the penis (urethra) that made me flinch. I can’t remember for sure but I believe the storyline was about 3 high school boys and a sadistic teacher. Not that I know anything about gay porn, mind you. 🙂
http://espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=1720362
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/baseball-players-gay-porn-past/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kazuhito_Tadano
Bryguyf69
@Xzamilio: My guess is that he was either being blackmailed or otherwise warned about an impending story revealing the videos. At least this allows him to take some control.
Guy068
I hope everyone slut shaming whoever this guy is and who has enjoyed porn at any time in their past get the karmic reward they deserve. Don’t care what just so the punishment fits. I’ve always hated that our demand creates this industry and these jobs and then we try to act like we’re superior to people who fill the need? Assholes…
(And yes, I know most of my fellow commenters aren’t slut shaming so don’t take offense where none is intended)
Aromaeus
If there is anything he should regret it should be the horrible performance he put on. He spent more time looking at the computer than actually enjoying the threesome. I get he was doing it for the money but at least put in the work for it.
SteveDenver
He needs to learn to own his actions, which starts with considering the consequences.
Avery Alvarez
Who cares?
He’s not the first, and he wont’ be the last.
It’s becoming more and more common. If you’re in this situation, and someone is blackmailing you, it’s best to just steal their thunder and come out with it yourself.
Keebler ILF
He has a youtube video where he and his two friends are taste testing condoms (rolled over bananas).
Nothing wrong with that. But Queerty, that’s not something a “wholesome” youtuber would do.
Xzamilio
@Aromaeus: He has referred to himself as a “side” which is basically a gay guy who does not top or bottom, and does not engage in anal sex… oral, I’m not sure about. I’m just saying that because it would explain why he was not liking it. But, yeah, the little of the video I saw was boring, so CLEARLY there was a niche market they tapped into.
Evji108
This kind of thing is going to be happening more and more as time goes @Guy068: If you are not going to be ashamed of the product (the Porn industry), then you shouldn’t be ashamed of the demand. There is nothing wrong with the sexual need that results in porn being created to fulfill that need. Time to stop desire shaming.
Nahald
@M J Martinez Crogan: Nope…I looked like a 16 year old until I was 26 or 26. And still got proofed at liquor stores into my early 30’s.
Keebler ILF
I used to watch his shows. Pretty enjoyable; could’ve used better lighting. He did bottom sometimes.
theowlmike
Hi Calum. Why do you feel that you must apologize for your gay porn past. The past is the past. If people want to point fingers at you for your past then I do believe you should move on with your life. You did what you did then for your own personal reasons then. Life is a learning experience. What you did then is not who you are now. Please do not be ashamed of your past and do not condemn those who are in gay porn now. All human beings are sexual beings but our society seems to want to makes us to be ashamed of our sexuality and whom we might love or just have sex with. It is time to rejoice in who we are and even who we chose to have sex with. So rejoice Calum. Be happy with who you have become! Take care.