We’re getting into Jimmy Fowlie‘s vapidly Californian web series Go-go Boy Interrupted, but that doesn’t mean everyone’s a fan. Commenters are unafraid to voice their often extreme opinions (about this show and literally everything else on the planet), which is the subject of episode three, out today.
Watch as disgraced go-go boy Danny Carter tries to cope with the bad press, and as always, feel free to chime in below.
And if Hollywood trivia gives you the tingles, yes that’s Chris Evan’s gay younger brother Scott in the yellow tank top. We wouldn’t mind seeing more of him.
restoretherainbow
GREAT TOPIC! I think the cruelty and being mean comes from Gay men who still have internalized homophobia. When they read about another Gay man doing something that taps into their own personal story–and for which they were brutally targeted for–they will project that same level of cruelty on that Gay man. The fact that they can do it with impunity makes it too tempting to pass up.
We, in essence, pick up where our (heterosexual) abusers left off and dig into oner another. It’s tragic and hurtful, instead of helping each other heal we go in for the kill. It’s one of the reasons why I have written “Restore The Rainbow.”
I truly hope that even when we disagree or are peeling away layers of our own internalized homophobia, we can remember that as Gay men, we have all dealt with more pain than one lifetime needs.
Let’s all choose to use loving, supportive words. THANK YOU for posting this query!!!! <3
AtticusBennett
there will always be the anonymous gay cowards who use internet anonymity to impotently vent their hatred, their insecurity, their jealousy….and who are their targets? usually it’s the openly-gay men who are living their own lives on their own terms – and basically being “the type of gays” that the Anonymous Haters need to “not be” in order to be barely-tolerated by the bigoted heterosexuals in their lives.
yup – it’s internalized homophobia, it’s bitterness, it’s jealousy, and it’s the anger that others are out there living their lives why they have only internet anonymity as their outlet.
jayj150
Pettiness is a human trait; it’s not exclusive to gay men. Straight men and women can also be vocally and unnecessarily mean to each other. What I find interesting is this tendency in gay media, and among so called ‘gay bloggers’ to make these terrible generalizations about gay people, and gay men in particular. Apparently anything is evidence that we are all shallow, catty, mean-spirited, etc., and those who promote those generalizations are usually people who are supposed to be doing the opposite. Trolling on internet forums is a universal phenomenon: it doesn’t matter if it’s an ESPN forum about the Yankees, or a teenage girls’ forum about pop stars, the viciousness and cattiness can be appalling. Anonymity brings out the worst out of many people; gay or not.
And also, there’s this automatic assumption that if a gay man says something that is even remotely controversial, he must be coming from a dark place; it’s as if any kind of dissent among gay men is necessarily the product of cattiness, bitterness and jealousy. I haven’t watched the show, or read the comments about it, and I’m sure many are viciously cruel; but be sure they’re not necessarily worse or better than what your average straight TV viewer posts; NOR is every critical comment necessarily ‘mean’; there’s such a thing as legitimate criticism, and it is not a right exclusive to straight people.
iggy6666
@AtticusBennett: well said. I like the use of words like coward, bitter, jealous, insecure. It really brings out the superiority complex.
AtticusBennett
someone on here once commented that i’m always on some “high horse” – which is untrue. It merely appears that way to those of you who are still crawling on your bellies in the mud. those who are determined to cling to internet anonymity will always lash out angrily at those who are not as weak.
enjoy the read:
@iggy6666:
http://www.toptobottomnyc.com/the-voice-of-reason-an-interview-with-little-kiwi/
tdx3fan
Its the internet. The very concept of the internet is to watch porn and hook up. If you aren’t good enough to do porn or worth hooking up with then be prepared to face serious ridicule.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiFD6EFVsTg
So, grab your dick and double click for porn, porn, porn!
Dakotahgeo
I abhor being the truth teller on Queerty because the truth always convicts those who are guilty! Basically, cattiness and poor verbal manners are the norm for younger, more immature young men, who, for some ungodly reason also “appear,” through their language usage to be more feminine in style and writing M.O. Older (over 25+), educated, mature people tend to stick to the subject at hand and comment intelligently to others, even though they may not agree with the stance taken by the opponent. Verbal trolls have the worst set of public/private social manners of any group, and they DO come in all ages. I may be attacked for this stand, but then really, you only prove me … correct! There is a difference between ‘attack’ comments and opponent comments.
AtticusBennett
@Dakotahgeo: how about you prove me wrong and show yourself? 😀
iggy6666
@AtticusBennett: ”’ crawling on your bellies in the mud” And you will be walking on their backs.
AtticusBennett
y’all are free to stand up and face the sun, like many of us have chosen to do. but thanks for proving my point – the bitter anger of those who cannot do what The Visible do. internet anonymity is the last refuge for cowards.
mcdfishfilla
@Dakotahgeo: Generalizing only makes you look like a donkey.
Desert Boy
Bitches be bitches.
iggy6666
@AtticusBennett: yes. We’ve heard your distaste for remaining anonymous. But really. What makes your life the benchmark for being content with ones self? I hold no grudge for you advocating for lgbt issues, its clear you want to make a positive difference. Its when you belittle people that I draw issues with, you strive for equality and diversity yet want people to hold your ideology of what’s acceptable.
Hillers
Of all the questions to ask on this site!
I would love if my fellow gay brothers could comport themselves with a little civility towards one another (like using “I” statements, for example), but that’s just the hippie in me.
Instead, some of these cat fights come across a bit like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxrWuE5qC5c
TomMc
@AtticusBennett: How’d you get so effin’ smart?
Seriously.
Cam
I always love it when people try to claim that gays are so much meaner or whatever than others.
Have any of you read pretty much ANY article or post from any paper, yahoo, or pretty much any online source? There are TONS of mean posts.
Saint Law
It aint mean if it’s true.
Dakotahgeo
@AtticusBennett: Absolutely no problem. Check out my facebook page at George M Melby. I have nothing to hide. The dear guy with his hand on my shoulder is my wonderful partner of 7 years, Ari, from Brazil. have at it! :-)@mcdfishfilla: Believe me, I was very specific. Thank you for proving me correct! Donkeys are not bad looking if you view them from the right end!
SteveDenver
@Dakotahgeo: BINGO! So much critique about Gays is hyperbole. I just came from a forum where as a liberal who believes in gun control, I was ALONE, not just in the minority. When one guy finally said I probably thought c0cks*cking was the answer to everything, I said, “Yes, I do think that. If you got your d*ck s*cked, and gave into your true nature and s*cked off a buddy, you probably wouldn’t need to f*ck your brain with a big hard gun.” His next response was to threaten me. I said, “Someone should take away your guns, hothead.”
Being mean is not just for gays, although some of us seem to have made an art of it.
eddiesocket
This post is homophobic. Maybe the writer only looks at comments on gay websites? If he looked elsewhere, he would see that everyone online is mean. Or more accurately, most of the people who comment online are mean.
The Tower of Power
@AtticusBennett: I agree with you for the most part. Insecurity is the main reason why gay men are mean to each other; they feel down about themselves, so they try to take other people down to make themselves feel better.
However, I strongly believe that people sometimes mistake gentle humor for being mean. For instance, I posted on FB that I have no desire to post topless selfies of myself online for attention because my family loved me when I was little. You wouldn’t believe the angry responses I got to that!!
I was simply mocking the constant selfies that has been filling my newsfeed lately, and I must have struck a nerve. A lot of people DO resort to exhibitionism for attention because they are trying to fill a void in their lives.
I also believe a second reason why gay men are mean to each other online is because of over-aggression from many other men. I have had guys send me unsolicited dick pics. I’ve had guys I didn’t even know ask if they could lick my muscular body. I didn’t consent to engage in sexting with them either. I am no prude, but I feel these kinds of acts border on sexually predatory behavior. So if you recive a lot of inappropriate messages from gay men, I can understand why you get mean those you don’t know and trust.
pressuredrop
@AtticusBennett:
It’s true. You are always on your high horse. You attack posters who disagree with you on arbitrary topics and pick fights with trolls that are clearly baiting you. In a way, you’re a good example of the meanness discussed in this article.
Call it “honesty” or “holding your head high” or whatever. It’s called being “stuck up.”
The Tower of Power
@AtticusBennett: I don’t agree you are on a “high horse” but you feed the trolls by responding to them.
“Don’t waste your time on people who wouldn’t waste theirs on you” — one of my best friends
Chris
I’ve seen/read mean spirited stuff posted by gay and straight men and women. So the answer to the question as to why gays are so mean to each other is: because they’re human and given to the same failings that everyone else is. We’re no better; but we’re no worse either.
Dakotahgeo
@SteveDenver: Heh heh heh… spot on the mark, Steve. I appreciate your comments very much. Kudos!
stranded
@Cam: I completely agree. Gays are no more meaner online than anyone else.
Dxley
Who wouldn’t hate flamboyant, holier-than-thou, fairy-glittery, limp-wristed fruits who are mostly AIDS-ridden and have gonorrhea for starters and syphilis for dessert? I know I hate ’em. I just can’t bring myself to go near such “guys” and I think I might end up ex-gay after all. Hey, it’s more common than you think!
stanhope
@Dakotahgeo: simply: naw bitch!
Saint Law
@Dxley: You always sound like you’re in the middle of a nervous breakdown.
NJjoe
Who isn’t mean to other people online? It’s too easy to sit behind a PC unknown.
onthemark
@Dxley: Please, please, PLEASE… DO become an “ex-gay”! We will all appreciate it.
@The Tower of Power: “A lot of people DO resort to exhibitionism for attention because they are trying to fill a void in their lives.” The pseudonymous “Atticus Bennett” – who doesn’t seem to have a job, yet can afford to live in NYC and spend all day making YouTube videos – is unlikely to see the irony of your comment.
@Dakotahgeo: hmm… maybe another way of looking at it is that Millennials are way over-sensitized to imagining “meanness” online because they’re so used to vapid adulation from their teachers and their parents?
@SteveDenver: That’s it! The gay people who are worried about this non-problem simply never try to engage in serious arguments on any non-gay forum. It’s just so much easier and more “fun” to “argue” with other gay people they 98% agree with on political issues. I admire you for taking on a pro-gun crowd single-handedly; that’s a tough one.
Dakotahgeo
@onthemark: Thank you! I would say you are entirely correct in your comments to the four people you responded. Kudos!
Bauhaus
@onthemark:
Hmm, from what I can see and read, because Atticus Bennett makes his life open to all, he owns who he is, good and bad.
Owning himself, being proud, having a loving and supportive family, living the way he wants; rubs you the wrong way?
Exhibitionism to fill a void is one thing. Taking ownership of ones life, documenting it, writing about it, something very different.
Of course that opens him to criticism, which he addresses
And as for his job and his residence, what business is it of yours?
Why don’t you tell us where you live and how you support yourself, huh? You actually have the temerity to criticize one of the only commenters on here with the courage to show their face and life story? You’re an impertinent cad, you are.
Dakotahgeo
@AtticusBennett: Ohhhh yeah!!!!
The Tower of Power
@AtticusBennett: People who take selfies regularly are more prone to having low self-esteem, a new UK study suggests.
The study, involving 2,071 UK men and women aged between 18 and 30, found that when it comes to taking photographs, 39 per cent preferred taking pictures of themselves, rather than their family, partner, or pets.
When the regular selfie-takers were asked how they felt about their appearance and relationships, only 13 per cent said they felt “confident in their own skin” and 60 per cent admitted to having “low self-esteem”.
http://wap.business-standard.com/article/pti-stories/selfie-addiction-may-be-linked-to-low-self-esteem-114091900817_1.html
I agree with the results of this study.
AtticusBennett
“A lot of people DO resort to exhibitionism for attention because they are trying to fill a void in their lives”
that’s a line that people tell themselves when the reality is all-too-often that they’re simply too insecure to be as similarly transparent, or are aware of how crushingly uninteresting they are.
and i’ve been professional actor and writer for 16 years, and i’m wicked smart with my money.
like i’ve said – there are some things that only ever get said by the “determined to be invisible forever because anonymity is their only escape” brigade. some people need to slander and rant against the Visible because they can’t share a single damn good thing about themselves.
onthemark
@Bauhaus: He taught his dog to read and write? How impressive!
misterhollywood
@restoretherainbow:
I totally agree. There are a lot of gay people who simply do not like the fact that they are gay. I could go on and on about the “straight acting” comments people put in profiles or intimate when talking to others.
And then there are the body image issues and ageism. Entirely different post for sure!
Great question!
The Tower of Power
@AtticusBennett: I am not invisible as my profile links to my FB page and I came out at the age of 16 in 1998. People were quite a bit less understanding then.
I had people asking why I had to talk about my sexual preferences while they were holding hands with their opposite-sex partners and it was common knowledge they were in hetero relationships.
Bauhaus
@onthemark:
Of course, you don’t address a word I said.
So, what is it you do for a living?
Where do you live?
Are you out to your family and your co-workers?
Do your parents love you, or are you the family shame?
Can you teach your dog to read and write?
Please share your life, as you criticize the ONE man one here who has the courage to do so, openly and proudly.
And as for Facebook; it’s an entirely staged world, one we create to show the world what we want seen of us.
So, other than your profound observations about the only authentic person on Queerty, how about you enlighten all of us about YOU.
Bauhaus
@AtticusBennett:
I wouldn’t care if you knit doilies.
What you say resonates with a lot of people. What you say has value and is empowering.
Having a family as embracing, supportive, loving and amazing as yours, is what we all want and wish to have.
It’s only the folks with a family that rejects them, doesn’t love them, is ashamed of them; these folks have inter-turmoil, are self-loathing and are critical.
You know the kind from a mile a way: I may be gay (as if it is a curse), but at least I’m not____________. Just fill in the judgmental blank.
onthemark
@Bauhaus: @Bauhaus: As you put it yourself: “And as for his job and his residence, what business is it of yours?”
The title of this article is “Why Are Gay Guys So Mean To Each Other Online?” Many of us (including me) reject the very premise of the article and consider it nonsensical, even homophobic in itself. But it’s ironic that (a) not only does it turn out that anonymity has little or nothing to do with the premise, but (b) Atticus is intent on proving the premise by, as always, being the meanest nastiest b*tchiest pr*ck poster on Queerty.
Personally I really don’t mind because, as I said earlier, we probably agree on literally every important political issue. It’s not like he’s McFrisky or Dxley or something.
I came out to my parents at a fairly young age, and was prepared for possible rejection. They surprised me by being cooler about it than I expected. But I was prepared, if necessary, to be an adult and proceed without them.
Therefore, I’m perplexed that people like you and Atticus are eternally yammering on about your parents like you’re 12 years old. Who gives a flying fvck about your parents? At what point do you actually grow the fvck up and stop talking about your parents all the time? You are still the same gay person, whichever way your parents react to the news.
In his videos, Attitcus is always stressing the importance of coming out. (I totally agree and I hope everyone here agrees.) But suppose a kid sees the videos, comes out to his parents, and is rejected by them. You say that the KID is inevitably going to have “inter-turmoil” [sic], be “self-loathing” etc. You’re basically saying that Atticus is great only because his goddam PARENTS are great. That message is pretty fvcked up, and might actually dissuade many kids from coming out at all.
A gay kid needs to come out anyway and, if he HAS to, be an independent adult and be willing to reject his parents! That’s the way it works, not the other way around.
enlightenone
@jayj150: Worth repeating!
“NOR is every critical comment necessarily ‘mean’; there’s such a thing as legitimate criticism, and it is not a right exclusive to straight people.”
“NOR is every critical comment necessarily ‘mean’; there’s such a thing as legitimate criticism, and it is not a right exclusive to straight people.”
“NOR is every critical comment necessarily ‘mean’; there’s such a thing as legitimate criticism, and it is not a right exclusive to straight people.”
enlightenone
@Dxley: More likely a house will fall on you before you turn yourself into an “ex-gay” pretzel!
Bauhaus
@onthemark:
Again, after your little tantrum, lashing out, and charming coming out story, you won’t address my original point.
You’re criticizing the ONLY man on here not cloaked in anonymity. You have the audacity to even speculate about his work and where he resides and how he’s able to do it?
Again, who are you, what do you do, where do you live? Who pays your bills? When you go after a real person, be a real person!
You can make any claim you want, tell any story that sounds good for a post. You’re still anonymous, you’re still criticizing the ONLY person on here who is real, and you’re deflecting. And, you’re calling him nasty names on top of it.
Then, you find a way to weave my typo into your comment. How petty can you get.
I reject completely the notion that, “you are still the same person, whichever way your parents react to the news.” What a ridiculous claim.
Have you noticed I haven’t even commented on the article, but have only called you out for criticizing Atticus Bennett, a real person? I will say that gays do not corner the market on meanness, as it abounds in every online comment section. Political comments are brutal. Surely, anonymity contributes to meanness and trolling.
You’re big on irony, I’ve gleaned. Yet it escapes you that you are only able to call Atticus Bennett those choice names, criticize his videos, wonder how he affords things, because YOU have no name, no face, no identity, no home, no family. You perpetrate and exemplify exactly what you say you reject in this article.
Not only are you dumb, but a hypocrite, and a coward to boot.
What a drip.
bottom72
The hatred I have heard from others online including this site is incredible. Sweethearts as an effeminate man I have heard many of your vile words online to men like me. I appreciate we all have different attractions and that is fine but please don’t disrespect the man I am with your cruel vile words such as F$s$ot, etc.
What is so reprehensible about being effeminate? Why is it such an unwanted behavior for a boy to exhibit a effeminate behavior? What are “straight acting” gay men afraid of?
onthemark
@Bauhaus: “I reject completely the notion that, ‘you are still the same person, whichever way your parents react to the news.’ What a ridiculous claim.”
Why??? It’s true. Your parents’ reaction to that – or anything else – doesn’t control your life. You’re an adult now. (Well, hopefully!)
Why do Atticus and you imbue the coming-out-to-parents act with a magic that it can’t possibly support? In fact, by doing this he damages his message to young gay people, and will discourage some from coming out at all. I haven’t really criticized his videos – you’re imagining that – since I’ve seen few of them, since I gather they’re intended mostly for a teenage audience who hasn’t yet come out, but he wants them to. (Which is great.)
Yes – every gay person who makes the decision to come out has to come up with a certain amount of courage to do it. That’s great, it’s a necessary step in life. But once the action is done, it’s done. How your parents RE-act is not under your control. How your parents react is not particularly even any of your concern (unless you owe them money, I suppose… in which case, fvck ’em, you’re still gay and now you’re out?).
I came out in the late 1970s when it was a fairly recent thing to do, in a historical sense. But it wasn’t really much more difficult than it is now or was in the late ’90s. We didn’t have much advice about *how* to do it, like young gay people do now, but it seemed like something that needed done so we did it. And it’s actually a fairly mundane thing to do.
I don’t know why your generation tends to be so morbidly awestruck and in lo-o-o-o-ove with your parents! Believe me, there’s nothing special about your parents’ generation; they are just ordinary straight people of my generation. If they accept you as gay, that’s great, they are wise enough to recognize the historical tide. If they reject you because they’re poisoned by homophobic religion, well, maybe they’ll get over it eventually – meanwhile go and live your gay adult life.
As for where I live, well I don’t live in New York City (although I used to) which is one of the easiest places in the entire U.S. to be out. As for what I do for a living, well I’m not a professional actor (!) which is one of the easiest jobs in which to be out. So be impressed with Atticus all you want, that’s like being impressed with a dog for barking a lot.
“Have you noticed I haven’t even commented on the article, but have only called you out for criticizing Atticus Bennett, a real person?” Not quite – he’s a pseudonym. But yes, I’ve noticed he is probably the same person as you, who are named after his dog (lol) and describe his supposedly “amazing” parents in the same cloying terms he does.
YesIDid
Read “The Velvet Rage: Overcoming The Pain Of Growing Up Gay In A Straight Man’s World,” by Alan Downs, PhD.
vive
@AtticusBennett, @Bauhaus, visibility is irrelevant and a straw man.
Visible people can also be nasty, as shown by AtticusBennett’s belittling of those who use pseudonyms as “crawling in the mud,” “insecure,” and so on. Most people who use pseudonyms do it simply because they value their safety and privacy, not for nefarious reasons. The “Visibility” ideology is Facebook (and other corporate and government) propaganda, for which we all know the real reasons: money and control.
vive
Bottom72, you will probably enjoy the book:
“Why Are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots?: Flaming Challenges to Masculinity, Objectification, and the Desire to Conform”
It includes a number of essays by various authors addressing precisely the issue you raise.
Bauhaus
@vive:
Of course visible people can be nasty. The difference is, they are accountable for what they write and say. They don’t lob sh*t bombs and walk away.
There is nothing wrong or nefarious in using a pseudonym online, or for any other medium; there are many reasons for doing it.
If you don’t like what Bennett is saying, then take issue with the content of the message he is conveying.
Visibility has nothing to do with Facebook, ideology, money and control. One can be visible/accountable online in many ways. The complete lack of accountability and total anonymity contributes to less civility, meanness, trolling, and cowardice, not only here, but in most online forums.
onthemark
@Bauhaus: I do take issue with what little of substance he has to say regarding the coming out process: “parents parents parents parents parents parents” blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda. Damn, his parents must sh*t rainbows! But of course, the vast majority of parents do not. He’s liable to cause some teen suicides with this lousy “advice,” if he hasn’t already.
“There is nothing wrong or nefarious in using a pseudonym online…”
I’m very glad to see you say that. However your owner (?) Atticus thinks differently, because that’s literally all he ever complains about here. The same nasty vicious sh*t bomb over & over & over & over & over & over & over. People are being supposedly “anonymous” and that’s bad somehow. Even though he is, as you admit, using a pseudonym. Or rather two pseudonyms – Atticus and Little Kiwi – or perhaps three if indeed he has drafted his dog Bauhaus into his nefarious scheme? 🙂 It’s all very weird, although I do think he means well.
onthemark
@vive: You make an important point with “Control.” Queerty is cool with anonymity -unlike publications that require Facebook posts – and uses its moderation function sparingly (?). But there are always a few posters with Napoleon Complexes who can’t stand this and who want to control the comment section they don’t own.
vive
@onthemark: “Queerty is cool with anonymity – unlike publications that require Facebook posts.”
Yes, it is one reason I still participate here, as opposed to sites like the Huffington Post, where things went downhill very fast once they required verified Facebook accounts. They lost all but a handful of commenters in their gay voices section. Many of the people who left were high quality contributors. Now they are lucky if they get more than 5 comments on an article in that section, and more and more articles get not even one.
Real name policies are, among other things, *designed* to intimidate people who may want to express opinions that may be unpopular in their workplace or community. This is of great concern to many LGBT people, even those in the middle, never mind those of us who are of more radical persuasions.
vive
@Bauhaus: “The complete lack of accountability and total anonymity contributes to less civility, meanness, trolling, and cowardice, not only here, but in most online forums.”
Maybe I would be less impatient in some of my responses if my employer, or my grandmother, or my ex, could identify my posts online. But on the other hand, I certainly wouldn’t feel free to talk about my experiences with PrEP, my opinion on weed, my sexual history and experiences, or a number of other personal things. Others would be less forthcoming about their experiences being HIV+. ]
That is too high a price to pay for a little more civility. In any case, I don’t see the supposedly open book Atticus being very civil, to give one example.
bottom72
@vive: Thank you sweetheart. big hugs for you.
Bauhaus
@vive:
Thanks for your response.
I’m not advocating for civility online, let’s be clear about that. Anonymity trumps civility, of course!
What I am advocating for in this case is a fair fight. Consider this:
If Atticus Bennett and onthemark both have online profiles, online lives, online views, then they share equally in the consequence of their opinions and views. Face to face, on the street.
When one party in a discussion has absolutely nothing to loose (reputation, family, employment, housing, friends), that party has no merit.
When both have nothing to loose, like the rest of us, it’s a free for all. We can say anything we want to each other, criticize, joke, make up stories, blow off steam, share, troll, all with impunity. See the difference?
I’m anonymous. I’m not criticizing anonymity. I’m not thin-skinned, either, and enjoy the heated banter and humor on Queerty, and don’t always see that as meanness.
I may not agree with Atticus Bennett on every issue or statement he makes. If I wanted to challenge him, I would certainly do it in a respectful manner, just as I would a person on the street. Any disrespect to him by me, an anonymous commenter, would be cowardly, and low.
Bauhaus
@vive:
Oops, I meant, thanks for the comment!
onthemark
@Bauhaus: “If I wanted to challenge him, I would certainly do it in a respectful manner…”
LOL. Try it sometime. He wouldn’t be respectful to you.
Either anonymity is bad (as A. contends) or it’s not (as you’re suddenly, belatedly conceding now). You can’t have it both ways. By your logic now – or half of it anyway – no one is allowed to criticize Atticus ever, unless they link to an “online life”? Few Queerty readers would agree with that, and at any rate Queerty doesn’t require it. Atticus doesn’t get to make up new rules for posting here; it’s not his site. (He has his own site, remember? Also you seem unaware that he has apparently been banned from Queerty at least once.)
Atticus lives in New York City – a very easy place to be out, and the safest big city in the US – and is employed as an actor and writer – very easy jobs in which to be out. There is nothing disrespectful in noting these significant facts. The vast majority of Queerty posters do not have the luxury of his extremely privileged position. You probably don’t either.
His “online life,” while well-intentioned I think, has a sinister aspect he surely does not intend. He seems unaware of basic psychology and, weirdly, expects every closeted kid to have the same personality he did. (And is contemptuous if they don’t.) He encourages closeted kids to come out – which is great IMO – but if the parents reject them, he blames the victim. I’ve told you my objections to his bizarre “parent” monomania, which I consider not only fallacious and illogical, but dangerous and conducive to gay teen suicide.
onthemark
@Bauhaus: You sure do a lot of demanding!
You don’t get to demand that anyone who replies to Atticus must link to an “online life.” It’s weird enough when he does that, but you don’t even have a link yourself. And you don’t get to demand that a FB link would not suffice for you. (Even he doesn’t do that.) I’ve never seen anyone on any site make such irrational and hypocritical demands.
You demanded all sorts of personal info from me – stuff you were not volunteering yourself, not that I cared – but when I DID provide some, you mocked it.
To get back to the point of the article, the only ones being mean and “disrespectful” here are Atticus and you (if we are really to believe you’re not the same person).
Bauhaus
@onthemark:
1. You’re not dumb, that much I can tell.
2. You’re not a troll.
3. You seem to have an ax to grind with Atticus Bennett.
4. Any further distortion, obfuscation, deflection, accusation, hyperbole, will only accentuate your attempt to dig yourself out of your hole.
5. When you are wrong, admit it or keep quiet.
6. Your attempt to win an argument has made you manipulative, unscrupulous, shameless, and cowardly.
7. Grow up. You sound like a spoiled child.
8. Always having to win an argument shows a pathetic lack of self-esteem and self-worth.
9. Are you so bored and boring, you lash out at those with a full and colorful life?
10. See # 1.
onthemark
@Bauhaus: 3. No. I think his solipsistic, self-referential parent worship could cause gay teen suicide. That’s an important concern that I’ve now stated three times. (Talk about missing the point.)
4, 5. So where was I wrong? On the meanness issue – the subject of the article – or the parent issue, or the totally irrelevant linking issue you kept incessantly dragging in?
6, 7, 8. ??? – what’s so bad about actually winning an argument? But thanks for admitting it. (See #5.)
8. How do you know I “always” have to win an argument? You have no evidence of that. Pure speculation on your part (in an insulting way as usual). When people do have intelligent counter-arguments, and don’t drag in totally irrelevant non-issues, I’m often happy to be convinced.
9. You’ve given us no evidence whatsoever that YOU have a “full and colorful life” – not that we’d care, and not that it would be at all relevant – and as usual you’re being nasty and insulting. (See: POINT OF ORIGINAL ARTICLE.)
1, 2. Thank you, Atticus/Bauhaus – and may I add, WOOF!
onthemark
@Bauhaus: Classic New Yorker cartoon, circa 1994:
“On the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog.”
Farty
Gay men can be very vicious. Most are insecure which is a byproduct of the culture. Gay men are usually predatory and will trash any other male if he thinks another may clear a bed partner. Sort of a “mean girl” mentality. The chronic sarcastic “camping” communication style is very boring.