Ugly Stepsister

Why We Should Be Very, Very Afraid of Michele Bachmann

In psychology 101, we learned that crazy people always think they’re being totally rational. Well, Michele Bachmann believes her insanity should be the law of the land. Think Sarah Palin’s warped view of reality meets Newt Gingrich’s bloviating and tah-dah: the Tea Party has found their presidential hopeful.

Bachmann certainly made a statement this week when she announced she was vying for the GOP presidential nomination mere minutes before being fully-prepped for the first Republican debates. And she did just what she had to — convince America that a pretty woman in make-up can be taken seriously in politics — thus distinguishing herself from Palin.

Like all seven major announced GOP candidates, Bachmann is against gay marriage. She lead the efforts in Minnesota to introduce an amendment banning it. You know… writing discrimination into the state’s constitution. That alone should be enough to have us hiding under our mothers’ petticoats. But, as The Daily Beast reports, that is just the concealer on top of an ugly career.

In 2005, as a Minnesota state senator running for Congress, Bachmann refused to address gay rights at a town hall meeting, even though she had been previously caught scoping out gay rights rallies from behind the bushes. So two constituents, a lesbian and an ex-nun, questioned Bachmann on the subject after running into her in the bathrrom.

Bachmann responded just like any sensible anti-gay activist would: by freaking out. “Help! I’m being held against my will!” she screamed before filing a police report. Charges were dropped, however, after the county attorney realized the incident was just a two-sided conversation between a politician and her constituents, not the kidnapping that Bachmann imagined.

And Bachmann’s irrational animosity towards gay people is not just reserved for strangers. In a speech in 2004 when she referred to a gay family member as “a part of Satan,” she was talking about her lesbian stepsister, Helen LaFeve. A year later, LaFeve literally stood in the room and watched as her stepsister went on to propose a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage in Minnesota.

When the media caught wind of their sisterly differences, Bachmann responded that she had polled her family and that over half agreed with her views. Ah, democracy in evangelical land: where families of politicians get to vote each other out of the constitution.

Oh, and P.S. Bachmann believes that homosexuality can totally be cured. She’ll even refer you to her husband’s clinic. Shouldn’t ex-gay therapy be grounds for malpractice in this day and age?


Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #politics #election2012 #gop stories and more


  • alan Balehead

    The female John McCain will ensure Obama will get in again…But he does need to fight harder for sure..don’t rest on your laurals dude!

  • christopher di spirito

    Crazy Eyes Bachmann is a genuine loon.

    On her rise from house heffa to Congresswoman, she said she was alone in her living room and God spoke to her and said, “Michelle, you are to run for Congress…”

    No one ever asks her, “Ah, Michelle, what did God’s voice sound like? Did God sound like Rosie O’Donnell or Johnny Weir?” In any case, Michelle is a vicious homophobe. She really hates “teh gays.”


    Bachmann is scary because she is a true believer and can self-justify any action she takes based on her own interpretation of God’s will. She is a religious sociopath.

  • TMikel

    Surely Bachmann will self-destruct long before November 2011, dear Goddess, please let her self-destruct. The fact that she actually believes she is right and can justify any of her beliefs on her warped concept of Christianity – which has nothing to do with anything Christ said -makes her even scarier. We are too close to a Theocracy as it is. Is this not how Germany got started in the ’30s?

  • Shannon1981

    She insane, but has a lot of followers. Crazy people can, indeed, be very smart, charismatic, and manipulative. So yes, be afraid, very afraid. She will criminalize homosexuality by the time she is out of office if she gets in.

  • the crustybastard

    Michele Bachman shouldn’t be compared to Sarah Palin — Bachman should be compared to Fred motherfucking Phelps.

    She’s just that crazy. And mean.

    As are her constituents, evidently.

  • yomamma

    jon huntsman is for civil unions. just like barack obama.

  • David Ehrenstein

    Wehave no reason to be afraid of her. She’s afraid of US.
    Michelle Bachman is a screamingly obvious closet dyke.

  • Eric

    Bachmann is scary because she’s intelligent. Evil, but intelligent. Devil incarnate, but intelligent.

  • Jeffree

    Bachmann is scary because she knows how to couch her statements in fundie/ evangelical terms that fly right over the heads of people who don’t share her Biblical viewpoint.

    In a battle between Mitt & Michele for the nom, she’ll get the religious right to back her, because he’s LDS, which in the eyes of the “true” Christianists, is a non-bible-based faith.

    Her attitude toward social issues is completely regressive, so all the gains of the women’s movement & LGBTs are at risk.

    She makes my skin crawl!

  • Enron

    Imagine if she and Palin teamed up? Thats the time I would truly believe 2012 is the end of the world.

  • Rbayse

    What is amazing to me is that no one has bothered to point out that her eye makeup during the debates looked horribly amateur.

  • Geoff B

    @Eric: She’s not that intellegent. Remember when she gave her rebuttal to Obama’s State of the Union adress. She couldn’t even figure out where the camera was.

  • Geoff B

    Obama should pray she gets the nom. She’s a fucking nutcase and is way too far right to win independents over.

  • Cam

    Why is it that all the women who claim they are fighting for morality wear make-up like they are looking for a spot in the next documentary sequal to “Hookers on the Point”?

    Seriously, if you see her in an interview it’s like a reincarnation of Tammy Faye Bakers eyes.

  • gregger

    This hateful & stupid psycho beast needs to go in for therapy and maybe some serious meds. The more I hear from her, I’m really beginning to believe she’s just one of those fools who takes religion too far and believes it’s the cure-all for all the ills of the world.

  • Don

    @Geoff B: Be very careful of the “let people see republicans are crazy” theory. I had bit of a theory early in Obamas term that Mr Obama was kind of letting the republicans have the limelight a bit with the ultra-crazy tea-party lunacy to basically remind americans just how nutbag the right is becoming.

    But the end result was them sweeping in the midterms (although curiously the teaparty candidates actually caused LOSSES of vote, and non teaparty candidates GAINED votes. Not sure how to interpret that to be honest).

    Crazy can become apealing if presented as fact. Look at Prop 8 in california. I suspect most people who voted for it didn’t harbor malevolence against queer folks, but rather thought they where voting a bill to prevent gay brainwashing camps for children. It tapped into a lizard brain craziness premised on base fear.

    I suspect with all that has happened since most californians would regret voting Prop 8. I dont see it passing again in Cali.

    Folks are easily fooled by voodoo.

  • Right-Wing Psycho

    I thank sheez purrrrdy

  • Brian Miller

    It wouldn’t surprise me if the Dem Party’s strategists are pulling strings to make the GOP primary a two-way context between “I’m absu-flippin-lutely NUTS” Bachmann and “I’m so very very wealthy” Romney.

    Both would be a cakewalk election for Obama, with Bachmann’s crazy rants terrifying anybody to the left of Atilla the Hun, and Romney’s entitled “do you know who I am” airs alienating the middle class completely.

  • Libertarian Larry

    The tolerance demonstrated by the left in the above posts is indicative of how INtolerant the left is when it comes to politics. Throw out anything to slander someone who isn’t a Democrat.

    Obama hates him some gaymen, you know it and I know it, but you guys will hold his nuts for him and throw your money at him as long as he’s got that precious (D) after his name. I’m not saying Bachman or any Republican is right for us, but homophobe-in-chief O’Bomber clearly is not.

  • gregger

    @Enron: call it Bachmann-Palin Over-ride. Music from Hell.

  • gregger

    @Libertarian Larry: Excuse the F-CK out of me, but you’re out of your bloody mind. Most people show contempt for this hateful beast and her husband that still espouses “reparative therapy” as a cure for Homosexuality. Obama did; sign the DADT repeal, give the Executive Order stating the Domestic Partners are allowed next of kin status in hospital situations, and Obama has appointed in excess of 100 Gay/Lesbian Staffers (more than the previous two Presidents combined) including the first openly gay social secretary. I’m including a link for your sorrowfully incomplete education.×689078

    Can you come up with something that will counter this or are you still going to defend that piece of excrement, who while having a discussion with two of her constituents screamed that she was being held against her will.

    Bachmann like Palin is Batshit crazy and dangerous.

  • gregger

    @Brian Miller: the Dem’s don’t have to do anything. The “Real Ummmerrikans,” as they refer to themselves, are doing it perfectly well on their own.

  • Marty

    What’s scary is she boasts of having raised something like 23 “foster children” during her 33 years of marriage. I think exponentially that having done this she will be affecting as many lives as she could and has as a member of Congress. What attitudes were those kids raised with? And, Heaven forbid, what if any of them proved to “non-traditional”? Ugh. It just boggles my mind that someone who obviously has *some* understanding of Christian charity brings into it so much hatred and self-righteousness.

  • Queer Supremacist - 43 Het Presidents is 43 Too Many

    I’m not surprised by anything she says. After all, Bachmann is a German surname.

    @Libertarian Larry: Why should we be tolerant of an intolerant breeder Kraut? If anything, we’re too tolerant. But you do have a point. Take away the “R” from her name and replace it with a “D” and the usual suspects would try to rationalize her goyische breeder supremacist bullshit.

  • gregger

    @Queer Supremacist – 43 Het Presidents is 43 Too Many: sorry, there are a great deal of us that are more centrist than you might believe. I am not a fan of the current President but he has done a great deal more for the LGBT community than the schlub before him. I don’t like psychos in government, be they D or R, I blast them. When I disagree with someone in government, be they D or R, I blast them unless they can convince me of the merits of their argument.

  • Libertarian Larry

    @Queer Supremacist – 43 Het Presidents is 43 Too Many: Thank you, QS, for your logical approach. So refreshing on this page.

    @gregger: I, uh, never defended Bachman. I’m not a fan. And if you like Obama, that’s fine, too. Differing opinions are what make this country great. Peace.

  • delurker

    @Libertarian Larry: you conservatives (don’t give me that “libertarian” crap) have a weird definition of “tolerance.” the left is supposed to accept completely divergent political philosophies, and you call them “intolerant” when they don’t? get outta here with that shit.

    like all conservatives, you are kind of a moron. pardon my intolerance. :)

  • delurker

    @Libertarian Larry: excuse me? if i went to or free rupublic and defended the president, do you think the conservatives like you on those sites would accept my viewpoint. hell no, i’d get banned faster than you can say “dick cheney”

    and Bachmann could you more “non fans” like you who get all but hurt when people say mean things about her. lol

  • Libertarian Larry

    @delurker: Wow, you sure are a hateful, paranoid person, aren’t you? Oh that’s right — you’re a liberal, so it comes naturally. Get well soon.

  • Bob On the KNOB

    We DO NOT have to tolerlate INTOLERENCE that’s what these dumb-shits don’t understand (along with EVERYTHING ELSE, the Gov., the Bible, the economy) Just a bunch of uneducated fairy tale believing MORONS as for MB well I think she needs to back to fucking PTA meeting with the ret of the stupid busy-bodies!!! oh and Bachman got FUCK YOURSELF!!!!!

  • another delurker

    Laugh all you want, but The Advocate and ALL OTHER OUTLETS coincidentally wrote the very same carefully worded account of this incident:

    “Pamela Arnold, a 5-foot-tall lesbian now in her 50s, began a conversation with the then-senator, when Bachmann screamed out, “Help! I’m being held against my will!”

    Arnold stepped aside and opened the door.”

    Began a conversation? Stepped aside? Why was she blocking the door to begin with?

    Classic Obama disingenuous liberal-speak “the bitch blocked the door so the bitch couldn’t leave and read her to filth”.

    Being 5 ft tall and 50 is irrelevant. So was Charles Manson at one time. She was lucky she didn’t get knee capped before “stepping aside”.

  • swoosie

    Do not underestimate this woman’s ability in any way. There is a total backlash against Obama occuring right now and moderates and conservatives are looking for someone that resonates with the times. She is it. Obama is against abortion, but does not block it. He is against gay marriage, and does nothing to work that issue, either for or against, so in reality, they do hold the same views, with the exception of hers being more radical.

Comments are closed.