A woman says she caught her husband texting with another man about Lady Gaga and now she’s convinced he might be gay, so she’s writing to advice columnist Dear Deidre for help.
“My husband’s been messaging a random guy,” the 39-year-old wife begins. “When I asked about him he insisted it was innocent. He said they were talking about Lady Gaga as they are both fans and offered to show me the messages to prove it.”
The woman continues, “My husband says it is sad I have such little faith in him and he doesn’t know how I can expect him not to talk to anyone. I replied that I don’t think it’s OK for him to start randomly messaging a gay guy.”
Now, she wonders: “Am I being over-sensitive and overreacting?”
How about we take this to the next level?
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Deidre keeps the response very short and to-the-point, writing, “Since he is openly texting this guy in front of you, then you don’t have anything to worry about.”
She adds, “You are the one he loves and that he wants to be with you. It’s your own insecurities causing the problem.”
Then she encourages the distressed woman to learn “how to deal with your insecurities more positively.”
Our advice: Maybe this woman should consider taking her husband to a Lady Gaga show?
The House of Gucci star, who is currently nominated in the Badass category in the 2022 Queerties, recently announced that she’ll be returning to Las Vegas for nine more dates of her Jazz & Piano residency at Park MGM theater Dolby Live.
The shows will span April 14 through May 1 and will “celebrate her love of the Great American Songbook” in addition to featuring selections from Love for Sale, her Grammy-nominated collaborative album with Tony Bennett.
Lady Gaga Jazz & Piano ?? Returning to Las Vegas this Spring at @ParkMGM’s Dolby Live!
Sign up to receive the Little Monsters pre-sale code at https://t.co/jnMYUgDoRu for early ticket access tomorrow ?
Tickets go on sale to the public Friday at 10am PT ? pic.twitter.com/9H247jrZHF— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) January 31, 2022
Voting in the 2022 Queerites runs now through February 22, and remember — you can vote once per day in each category. The winners will be presented at the Queerties Live Event on March 1, 2022.
Covid Hermit
I would say that she should be worried only if his musical taste also includes Barbra, Cher, Madonna, Beyonce, and Britney.
Donston
You really can’t tell anyone what they “don’t have to worry about”. Some guys keep their side pieces on full display, especially if they’re male. While an innocent connection could indeed eventually become something more. And Deidre has no idea what the dimensions of this guy’s sexuality or motivations are or where he is in the gender, sexual, affection, romantic attachment, emotional investment, relationship contentment spectrum. If that’s all there is, this the wife is certainly overreacting. But you really can’t draw those type of broad conclusions without knowing people. It’s kinda irresponsible to give such pointed advice to strangers without more details.
However, this does come off like another phony ass question in an advice column.
DarkZephyr
Dude. A straight man is allowed to have gay friends and to like Lady Gaga and he shouldn’t get accused of cheating because of that. If Lady Gaga was ONLY entertaining to gay men alone, she wouldn’t be the successful mega star that she is. And being a straight man and having gay friends that you aren’t ashamed of having does not = “keeping a side piece on full display”.
This lady is DEFINITELY insecure if her boyfriend isn’t allowed to have ANY friends he talks about innocent things with, including male ones! If *I* were him, I would dump her for that nonsense alone. I have had outlandishly jealous boyfriends before and this silliness reminds me of one in particular.
I coudn’t even hang out with male family members with this one guy. I once casually mentioned to him while he was out of town that I was going to a family pig roast at my brother’s house which all my brothers and my father would attend as well as female family members. He told me he didn’t feel comfortable with me going to “public functions with lots of men around” while he wasn’t in town to come with me. I said “Its not a ‘public function’ and the only men there are going to be my blood relatives!!” And he replied with absolute seriousness “Well…you never know! Some people do things like that!” I asked “And you think I might be one of them???” He repeated “You never know!” And he truly meant that! He was actually angry with me for hanging out with men (my Dad and brothers) while he wasn’t around because he thought I might cheat! I never cheat when I am in a relationship, let alone incestuously. BLECH. He had been stupidly and annoyingly jealous almost the entire time we were dating, but this was the final straw for me. You better believe that I told him where to go. I won’t tolerate that level of destructive, absurd jealousy and this woman’s boyfriend shouldn’t either.
Jaquelope
Unless they’ve only been married a very short time, one would think she knows him. Is she absolutely, positively sure that “Random Guy” is actually gay, or is she reading something into it that isn’t really there? From my experience with control freaks, I’d say that she is trying to be one, herself, because she doubts her own “sexiness” or ability to hold onto a loving relationship. I can guaranty that if she continues to act that way, she’s going to drive him away, which happens more than most people seem to think, or will admit.
Donston
DarkZephyr, that’s cute and politically correct in theory but it often does not reflect reality. If the wife is gonna take having a gay friend as meaning that her husband might be “gay” and secretly having an affair then there’s something there. She either needs to confront her own insecurities, or there’s been some suspicions before. Either way, as I said, this columnist does not know this man or woman. So, drawing such extreme conclusions from a very shallow question that lacks any in-depth details is irresponsible. She doesn’t know this woman’s psychology nor does she know the husband’s sexual dimensions, personality, or where he is in the gender, sexual, affection, romantic attachment, emotional investment, commitment spectrum. And yeah, there are plenty of guys who have side boyfriends and present him as merely a “friend”. While there are still plenty of dudes who are closeted and keep their queerness or their overall homo-leanings from their female spouses. If texting about Gaga is all there is then that’s all there is. But we really have no idea what else there is. So, the “wife” could be tripping or there may indeed be something there. But this writer making a lot of assumptions and filling in a lot of gaps is pretty extreme and irresponsible. And, as I said, it’s very unlikely that this is even a real question. It comes off like a “trying to kill toxic masculinity and gay panic” made up question.
DennisBTR
So two straight men talking about a beautiful women gives rise to suspicions that one of the men is gay?
Give me a break. They were probably both talking about how they wish they could have sex with her.
Mr-DJ
Why is she relegating her husband’s friend/acquaintance to ‘some random guy’, proclaiming “I don’t think it’s OK for him to start randomly messaging a gay guy.” That’s an insult to the friend, whom she apparently does not know (since she calls him ‘random’). And an insult to her husband as well. So, he cannot have guy friends? Has she given up all her gal friends? I think it is the husband that may need to ask questions about how to deal with this woman. Does she also have random male friends? Cuz, you know – many people that are suspicious of others are basing that upon their own thoughts & actions.
Jaquelope
So true.
theenchanter
My gut reaction is that this is silly. It’s 2022, and on RuPaul’s Drag Race, there is an openly straight cisgender drag queen competing for the crown. Biological sex, gender, and sexual orientation are three independent categories that can exist without any relationship to each other.
Kangol2
I think this woman, if she really exists, is insecure and may have other reasons for her suspicion, but I’ll just say that I know of several straight men who find Lady Gaga hot. One said he thought she looked particularly hot in the Gucci movie. I like her music and don’t find her sexually attractive, but she is an attractive woman and that could be the basis for this man’s exchange with another man. Wifey should take a chill pill or she might end up alone.
BoylesqueBubble
Well it looks like our resident pasty dough boy Graham is re-writing a column about his favorite subject that he lusts after (like a creepy sex offender): straight men having ANY interaction sexual or not, with a gay person. The woman is stupid, the letter was stupid, and well we all know what “great things” we can expect from Graham.
VA Guy
If anyone actually read the article, you’d see that it is a gay married couple.
“I am a 39-year-old man and my husband is 31. I have always had some insecurity. I think it is partly due to me being older than my husband.
I thought it was strange to be sending messages to this guy.”
There isn’t a wife in this scenario. I had to make an account just to point this out. You’re all tripping because someone writing for this site has the reading comprehension of a five year old.
Canadiancub
Uh did YOU read the article. It clearly said wife and woman all over the place
johncp56
He needs to leave her no matter his sexual likes, if anyone pegs someone gay for liking anything is a moron, older gay man here I like fast cars and racing so I,m a hetro???str8? some sports